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Old 03-18-2008, 03:38 PM
 
10,238 posts, read 19,507,345 times
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Yeah, once again, I decided to start a new thread on a topic I haven't seen done before (or at least don't remember).

So do any of y'all have a good joke to share that involves Texas in some form or fashion? So far as to what will be "fit for mixed company" will be left to the teller. And of course, the ol' "Aggie joke" -- which is a staple of Texas culture -- is another in that realm. I have known some Texas A&M students and graduates (MOST in fact) who love and eat 'em up...and then will tell a "T-sipper" joke in rejoinder, which will also be taken in the spirit of good Texas fellowship and humor. Of course, I have known a few others who will invite you to repeat it out in the parking lot! LOL

My own opinion is that the term "Aggie joke" has simply become generic over time. And is no more intended as a reflection of Texas A&M University folk than the old "Irish" jokes (or whatever) in the northeast are meant personal either. Just something we all enjoy innocently. Hell, believe me, far as that goes, anymore -- given my very conservative traditional ideological outlook --if it weren't for the fact I "bleed orange" when it comes to college football, I actually prefer A&M from that perspective!

Anyway, I think almost all of us Texans (and ESPECIALLY here on this forum) have a good sense of humor and can take as well as we can give if it comes to jokes.

Since I have rambled on a bit with the preface, I will share one of my favorite Texas type jokes in the next post! It is actually clean...and shouldn't offend anyone... except perhaps a few yankees (Hee hee...I admit sometimes I am incorrigible! ).
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Old 03-18-2008, 03:43 PM
 
10,238 posts, read 19,507,345 times
Reputation: 5942
Default Old Texas joke

Here she be, y'all:

******************

This man from the Northeast moved to Texas when his company closed and relocated, and from the first he was struck by the prominence of state flags everywhere, and how Texans were constantly bragging about their history and culture.

The northerner found his new Texas co-workers friendly as hell, far as that goes. From the start, in fact, they had invited him to join them each afternoon after work when they would have a few co'beers at a nearby bar. Still, they would rib him a lot with talk about The Alamo, San Jacinto, Travis, Bowie and Crockett, Hood's Texas Brigade... and yankee jokes of course.

Anyway, after a few months or so, it got to irritating him and, finally, one Friday afternoon, the yankee lost his temper and cut in: "You damn Texans think you guys were created on Day One! There are heroes up where I come from too, you know," he rejoined.

The Texans looked at each other, baffled a bit.

"Like who?" one of the Lone Star boys finally asked.

"Like Paul Revere, THAT'S WHO," the yankee replied smugly.

After a bit more confusion among the Texans, one of them snapped his fingers in recognition of the name and replied:

"Oh yeah! Wasn't he that feller who ran out of the house in the middle of the night hollerin' for help?"
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Old 03-18-2008, 09:12 PM
pfw
 
Location: I'm not sure, TX
186 posts, read 846,634 times
Reputation: 49
Here's my entry...

One day a man decided he was going to go across the US visiting old churches. He goes to the first church and sees a pay phone on the wall with a sign, "Call God, long distance charges will apply." He sees the same sign with each phone at the churches he visits. When he gets to Texas he again sees a pay phone with a sign, "Call God, only $.25." He inquires with the minister of the church as to why the call is only $.25 where everywhere else it's long distance. The minister replies "Your in Texas son, it's a local call from here."
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Old 03-19-2008, 10:15 AM
 
415 posts, read 1,712,538 times
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Q: How do you find Texas?

A: Go west until you smell manure. That's Oklahoma. Then go south until you step in manure. That's Texas.
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Old 03-19-2008, 01:24 PM
 
3,086 posts, read 7,582,273 times
Reputation: 4469
My oldest brother, an Aggie, was always full of Aggie jokes himself.
My favorite of all time.....what do you call a beautiful woman on the A&M campus?
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a visitor!
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Old 02-12-2012, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
16,787 posts, read 48,818,121 times
Reputation: 9477
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on a lonesome Texas prarie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.

The first one says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands."

The second cowboy can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen-foot rattlesnake slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, silently stirring the coals with his hands.
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Old 02-12-2012, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
16,787 posts, read 48,818,121 times
Reputation: 9477
An Englishman had visited Texas and was telling his friends about
his trip. One fellow asked, "What most impressed you about Texans".
He replied, "Their confidence. A Texan took me duck hunting and we
sat in a blind all day and never saw a thing. Then about sundown
a lone duck flew overhead, so high you could hardly see it. When
it was directly overhead the Texan raised his shotgun and fired.
The duck kept right on flying".
Then the Texan turned to me in amazement and said, "Son, yore
witnessing a miracle. Thar flies a dead duck".
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Old 02-12-2012, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
16,787 posts, read 48,818,121 times
Reputation: 9477
A Texas State trooper pulled over an old dusty pickup driven by a cowhand from a nearby ranch as he headed east on I-10. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The cowboy replied, "Bout' whut?"
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Old 02-12-2012, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
16,787 posts, read 48,818,121 times
Reputation: 9477
Out in Midland they take their football seriously, so when the college boy brought his out of state girlfriend to the homecoming game he knew it wouldn't last when it went like this.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' Hel-LLLO...it's only 25 cents! I hate to think what they'd do if it was a whole DOLLAR?
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Old 02-12-2012, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
16,787 posts, read 48,818,121 times
Reputation: 9477
In a small Texas town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar."
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