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Old 04-04-2021, 05:23 PM
 
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i try stuff like coffee shops and did one approach which i got the girls number but then got completely ghosted afterwards with no response. and there isn’t any situations i can find myself in to come up with something to say to someone. and i can’t get a single like on any dating app so it leaves me no other alternatives and i am feeling depressed and suicidal, i see a therapist but she suspects that i have ADHD and i am gonna get tested and screened for that, which may beneficial to me cause i have social phobia and my therapist believes ADHD plays a role in that, as i have trouble focusing and concentrating.

any places in toledo you guys recommend?
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Old 04-13-2021, 11:00 PM
 
Location: Toledo, OH
889 posts, read 1,628,785 times
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I dont know anything about you, but from what youve revealed, it sounds like maybe you should put dating on the backburner for a minute and just work on yourself. Do you talk to your therapist about your love life? This is just one mans opinion, but it seems to me like it might be best to become the best, mentally stable and healthy version of you, you can reasonably be, before you try to bring someone else into your life.

Is it possible that something about your dating profile is not appealing or is off-putting in someway, or is maybe just lacking something that catches people? Perhaps this is so, and you arent aware of it. I dont know the first thing about online dating but I cant imagine why absolutely no one would bite, ever.

Trying to meet people in random places like a coffee shop or bar or anything sounds like it could be a burdensome endeavor in a world where society lives on the internet. If you have a social phobia, I would imagine that its even more daunting.

Do you belong to any groups or organizations or anything where youve met people? Or are there any interesting people in the workplace? If anything, those seem to be the most common, and realistic places, to meet people, in a low-pressure setting.
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Old 04-18-2021, 05:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tobias C View Post
I dont know anything about you, but from what youve revealed, it sounds like maybe you should put dating on the backburner for a minute and just work on yourself. Do you talk to your therapist about your love life? This is just one mans opinion, but it seems to me like it might be best to become the best, mentally stable and healthy version of you, you can reasonably be, before you try to bring someone else into your life.

Is it possible that something about your dating profile is not appealing or is off-putting in someway, or is maybe just lacking something that catches people? Perhaps this is so, and you arent aware of it. I dont know the first thing about online dating but I cant imagine why absolutely no one would bite, ever.

Trying to meet people in random places like a coffee shop or bar or anything sounds like it could be a burdensome endeavor in a world where society lives on the internet. If you have a social phobia, I would imagine that its even more daunting.

Do you belong to any groups or organizations or anything where youve met people? Or are there any interesting people in the workplace? If anything, those seem to be the most common, and realistic places, to meet people, in a low-pressure setting.
just saw this post as i thought nobody was gonna reply to it, but yes i do see a thearpist but doesn’t look like it’s helping much since my therapist can’t actually prescribe medicine to me.

i work at a chemical plant... so that tells you right there i am not going to be finding anybody, that i am attracted to.
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Old 04-18-2021, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Toledo, OH
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Originally Posted by markn96 View Post
just saw this post as i thought nobody was gonna reply to it, but yes i do see a thearpist but doesn’t look like it’s helping much since my therapist can’t actually prescribe medicine to me.

i work at a chemical plant... so that tells you right there i am not going to be finding anybody, that i am attracted to.
Can you just have your general practitioner prescribe you whatever you need? Ive been in the same boat. Was seeing a "therapist/counselor" but since they arent a psychiatrist, they cant prescribe. My regular doctor takes care of my psych meds.

Anyway, I get what youre saying about the workplace. Especially if youre not the typical architype of person who works at your work (im the same as well, lol). Unfortunately, I dont think theres actually "places" where theres just talent pools of single women available for selection, especially in the social media era. You can meet someone by chance in the typical places, but if you ask me, that sounds like pushing a boulder up a mountain.

What are you like? What are you into? What kind of woman do you want to meet?
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Old 04-18-2021, 08:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tobias C View Post
Can you just have your general practitioner prescribe you whatever you need? Ive been in the same boat. Was seeing a "therapist/counselor" but since they arent a psychiatrist, they cant prescribe. My regular doctor takes care of my psych meds.

Anyway, I get what youre saying about the workplace. Especially if youre not the typical architype of person who works at your work (im the same as well, lol). Unfortunately, I dont think theres actually "places" where theres just talent pools of single women available for selection, especially in the social media era. You can meet someone by chance in the typical places, but if you ask me, that sounds like pushing a boulder up a mountain.

What are you like? What are you into? What kind of woman do you want to meet?
i don’t really have any hobbies and i don’t really care to have any either. any woman that looks good to me, but sadly its not gonna happen. all i were able to attract in my lifetime were bisexuals and weird girls with problems. never any normal people. doesn’t also help that none of them were attractive either.
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Old 04-20-2021, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Toledo, OH
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Is it possible that youre maybe too particular about what you want/need in a girl? Im not trying to insinuate that thats the case...but I know thats how a lot of people are. I mean nobody starting out dating really wants to get with someone they arent attracted to, obviously, and thats fair. But ya know, they dont have to be 9s and 10s. Not even 7s or 8s. The love of your life might not be in the package your expecting. Just throwin it out there...
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Old 04-22-2021, 04:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tobias C View Post
Is it possible that youre maybe too particular about what you want/need in a girl? Im not trying to insinuate that thats the case...but I know thats how a lot of people are. I mean nobody starting out dating really wants to get with someone they arent attracted to, obviously, and thats fair. But ya know, they dont have to be 9s and 10s. Not even 7s or 8s. The love of your life might not be in the package your expecting. Just throwin it out there...
it is not fair. ill tell you why, it’s because i absolutely ****ing hate seeing couples out and the guy is below average looking with a woman that is way out of his league. when i know im better looking than all of these men. i wear decent clothes i would say, always make sure my hair looks good and styled, and gotten compliments that i look like a younger travolta, one direction, character from twilight, matt damon, ect. yet these average looking shmucks have it way easier than me just because i had to be ****ed and lived with social anxiety all my life.

its like society is playing a sick cruel joke on me, and guess what? i am not laughing.

then again, i have been called average once and ugly by a few people online, but i find it funny that these people that said it, had no pics of themselves, so i’ll probably take that with a grain of salt for now. i had one guy take my side and say i was really good looking and told me males are bad at rating attractiveness of other males.
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Old 04-23-2021, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Toledo, OH
889 posts, read 1,628,785 times
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I believe ya. Thing that sucks too is there really isnt a lot of people to choose from here. Toledos not small but its not big either. Plus its not this wellspring of ambitious, put together, hip people either. Its the kinda place where unless your settling down to start a family early in your adulthood, youre quite possibly moving onto some bigger and better place. And no offense, but if they arent exploring the world outside of Toledo, theyre probably working at a dead end job here, single with multiple kids theyd love for you to be the father of, immediately. Im perfectly happy in Toledo for the most part, but im also a 33 year old married, father of 2. I kinda doubt that theres a bunch of physically attractive women who are NORMAL here, waiting to be found. From other people ive seen that I know, its like you said, they find an attractive girl, but then she turns out to be crazy or has a bunch of issues. Theres always a catch here.

I dont know if youre more of a country/rural/whatever type of guy or a more city oriented person, but you could try to make connections in other nearby cities, not just limiting yourself to Toledo. Detroit, Ann Arbor, Cleveland, Columbus, etc are all within a reasonable drive if there was something to do on the weekend. Covid doesnt do anyone any favors though. Its hard out there right now...
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Old 04-24-2021, 12:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tobias C View Post
I believe ya. Thing that sucks too is there really isnt a lot of people to choose from here. Toledos not small but its not big either. Plus its not this wellspring of ambitious, put together, hip people either. Its the kinda place where unless your settling down to start a family early in your adulthood, youre quite possibly moving onto some bigger and better place. And no offense, but if they arent exploring the world outside of Toledo, theyre probably working at a dead end job here, single with multiple kids theyd love for you to be the father of, immediately. Im perfectly happy in Toledo for the most part, but im also a 33 year old married, father of 2. I kinda doubt that theres a bunch of physically attractive women who are NORMAL here, waiting to be found. From other people ive seen that I know, its like you said, they find an attractive girl, but then she turns out to be crazy or has a bunch of issues. Theres always a catch here.

I dont know if youre more of a country/rural/whatever type of guy or a more city oriented person, but you could try to make connections in other nearby cities, not just limiting yourself to Toledo. Detroit, Ann Arbor, Cleveland, Columbus, etc are all within a reasonable drive if there was something to do on the weekend. Covid doesnt do anyone any favors though. Its hard out there right now...
there is. but if you are like me thats not used to talking to random strangers and is socially awkward then forget it.

the only other option you have is online dating, is, lets be honest here, mostly these girls that are trying to fake being hot using filters. and you have 1 in a million chances on there.

second option - school or college, i went to owens community college and took one class there. but nobody really talked to eachother there and with covid there was a limit of 7 students there, mostly females, but the ones that were slightly attractive there had boyfriends. so there wasn’t anyone to choose from. i did get stares from one this one girl there but she already had a boyfriend so i don’t know why she was looking at me. so i didn’t even bother trying to talk to her, aswell as how awkward it was to talk being it was so quiet in the class.
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Old 04-24-2021, 12:54 PM
 
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im more of a city person. yeah, if i had a car and drivers license... i figure though it would kind of be pointless unless i was planning on moving to those cities.
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