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Funny ! Hey at every festival I went to this summer indie rock was giving free high fives! You just got to be in the right spot at the right time to feel the love in Toronto !
You just have to smile and be an engaging human being and show that you are FUN.. If you walk around fronting tude than you're going to get it back. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer except a Debbie Downer.
It's aight man. I'm pretty sure most of toronto has your values and probably boring for people looking for fun.
since when have I been the boring Debbie Downer in the T.O forum
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karassmatic
I don't need hugs. I told you I had kids. You don't think they hug me most hours of the day. Lol.
Awwww so the truth comes out finally.. You blame Toronto and its citizenry for being boring, aloof and cold but you won't even hug a stranger who offers you one... Hmmmm so who's the boring, cold and aloof personality in Toronto C/D forum
I bet you BRU would accept a free hug from a Torontontian, I bet KLM would accept a free hug - I would but if someone offered you or Tsarina Anna one you'd probably kick em in the BLEEP..
since when have I been the boring Debbie Downer in the T.O forum
Awwww so the truth comes out finally.. You blame Toronto and its citizenry for being boring, aloof and cold but you won't even hug a stranger who offers you one... Hmmmm so who's the boring, cold and aloof personality in Toronto C/D forum
I bet you BRU would accept a free hug from a Torontontian, I bet KLM would accept a free hug - I would but if someone offered you or Tsarina Anna one you'd probably kick em in the BLEEP..
Hey; free hugs? Where, when, and are booty bumps allowed?
From a guy's perspective, and having lived in Europe where the women would approach and talk to you was a rude awakening wen I came to the US. In France, England,Germany, Finland etc, I would be at a bar and there would be women who would just come and chat, friendly chat, flirtatious chat etc..
In the US, oh boy, that didn't happen often and I can carry a good conversation etc..
So, my advice is to expand your horizon, smile more (some guys are shy when they see a beautiful girl and as others said, fear of being rejected).
Then comes the question, what is the guy you're looking for looks like?
Can it be an average look guy? Captain America? Thor?
From a guy's perspective, and having lived in Europe where the women would approach and talk to you was a rude awakening wen I came to the US. In France, England,Germany, Finland etc, I would be at a bar and there would be women who would just come and chat, friendly chat, flirtatious chat etc..
In the US, oh boy, that didn't happen often and I can carry a good conversation etc..
So, my advice is to expand your horizon, smile more (some guys are shy when they see a beautiful girl and as others said, fear of being rejected).
Then comes the question, what is the guy you're looking for looks like?
Can it be an average look guy? Captain America? Thor?
The problem appears that many (if not most) men and women in this city appear to have unrealistic expectations for each other ... ex. every man is looking for a supermodel even if they don't look like one (that just happens to be down to earth and willing to put up will all their nonsense) and every women is looking for in finanically well off man who looks like a movie star (even if they are not in that position and do not look that way). People seem to have really very disulsional views about relationships. They seem to be searching for these mythical Ms or Mr rights, but can not find them BECAUSE just like unicorns they actually don't exist.
The problem appears that many (if not most) men and women in this city appear to have unrealistic expectations for each other ... ex. every man is looking for a supermodel even if they don't look like one (that just happens to be down to earth and willing to put up will all their nonsense) and every women is looking for in finanically well off man who looks like a movie star (even if they are not in that position and do not look that way). People seem to have really very disulsional views about relationships. They seem to be searching for these mythical Ms or Mr rights, but can not find them BECAUSE just like unicorns they actually don't exist.
I had to do a double take reading this because I once posted the same thing lol.
Here is my story which I'm sure many guys and gals have experienced:
Unrealistic expectations on both ends is why dating stinks sometimes. When I was in the dating world, it sometimes was pretty much mind boggling from a guy's perspective who has his act together, owns his own house, in shape, can carry a conversation, has a great job etc, but I'm average looking.
So I would go out with girls who I had stuffs in common (we at least need to like some things in common). I was not out there looking for a super model. I dated all type of girls, your average looks to your hot one. I would hear them saying I'm such a nice guy etc but nothing after.
One of the girl I was interested in since we both likely kayaking, mountain hiking, sci-fi was this very pretty blonde girl. I went out with her once and she told me that she was also going out with 2 other guys which is fair because we were not exclusive. I saw her about 2 weeks after with this very good looking guy and she saw me too. They were going in her car and she was driving. So she finally sent me a text stating how I was such a nice guy and we had so many things in common but she didn't see the chemistry. Ok at least she was honest.
Fast forward 7 months later, I got a new job with a great pay, bought myself a nice BMW (mind you I had a nice VW before). I went to celebrate with 2 of my closest friend to a nice pub. As I'm parking, guess who I see getting out of her car? Yes, the same girl and she sees me getting out of my car. First thing she asked was 'is that your car'? SO I told her about the promotion etc and I was meeting friends here.
So good music playing, we were standing around and she came to me to talk. She straight forward asked me 'how's dating?' I told her I took a break from it etc... And I asked her the same question. Well when people say alcohol is sometimes the truth serum, they are not kidding, I got the whole run down with the other good looking guy. Basically he had no car so she was driving him around. So I asked her 'well you knew that but still dated him for 3 months?' She said he was so hot...bingo...She didn't care that the guy had a small job and had no car but he was hot. Honestly I even said it when I saw the guy before 'man that a very good looking man' (he was like a Chris Evans (capt America) lookalike). That night she said she would like to have dinner sometimes with me (wow I guess the BMW created instant chemistry) or she has gone through the guys she liked and I'm the backup plan finally !!
Over the months when I resumed dating, I would get the same thing from average looking girls. The went for the looks and $$. I was the guy who had to hear afterwards how some of these guys were a.holes. Well that didn't make me bitter but from then, I let those setbacks make me stronger because I knew that I had a lot to offer and I'm a good man. When I would meet a girl, I wouldn't put in my mind that I wanted her. After dates, I would say 'had a good time', exchange numbers and sent a text if I was interested.
Many girls out there live for the 'women power', 'equality' but then they don't do the first move, they expect the guy to make it claiming oh it's just 'chivalry' the guy has to make the first move.
Some don't even know what they want so they go by the looks.
Some don't have much to offer so they rely strictly on their looks.
I'm sure girls have experienced the same things with guy. So the question is, how come I was not meeting someone like me with real expectations? Well simple, everyone out there has their own definition of what real is. The amount of times I have heard girls complaining that they are not meeting the right guy etc, if I had a dollar every time, I would be rich.
In this thread, the OP doesn't say what she is looking for. Maybe she has been approached by average guys only to turn them down. Many good looking guys and gals know when they are good looking so they feel like they need to find someone as good looking or better than them. See all superficial items.
We old grow old and saggy so that looks will fade and then what else will you have?
OP if you're still around, sorry to hear about your dilemma and I do hope that you did meet a guy that you considered to your standards.
I think people in Toronto are reserved initially and do seem standoffish but I find over time once they get to know you they are friendly and more likely to be genuine about getting together for a drink. North of the city everyone appears friendly but are just being polite offering to get together for coffee but never mean it.
I don't think the bar scene in Toronto is necessarily the best avenue for meeting people you want to date or make new. You are better off getting involved in other social venues where you will find suitable people to date.
You could also try going to some of the Russian dinner clubs with a few friends where there is dancing and dinner. I think you'll find the people there more friendly.
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! Hey at every festival I went to this summer indie rock was giving free high fives! You just got to be in the right spot at the right time to feel the love in Toronto 
!
since when have I been the boring Debbie Downer in the T.O forum 
