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Old 03-10-2016, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Bronx
481 posts, read 427,442 times
Reputation: 445

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I won't go into my experiences in school. Different times and probably a different circumstance, although a kid did tell me the same thing in grade three as with your daughter, way back in the 80s.

When it comes to your daughter, it is heart-breaking, but as you instinctively know, it might be a phase.

Even so, are you able to reinforce what you're telling your daughter with music, media, storybooks, toys, photographs and paintings around the house etc. showing brown girls and women? Perhaps images from Trinidad? She probably isn't getting a lot of exposure to that outside the home, compared to how many "peach" people she and her friends see in all of these images and adventures. Can't guarantee that she'll play with the non-white dolls, storybooks, or dvds, but I think it's important to keep having them around. When I was little our mom continued to provide us with brown dolls even though we asked for and preferred the barbies she gave us.

Thinking back, our mom did quite a lot to reinforce positive views of blacks and afro-Caribbean/Canadian history even within the school community. I remember her volunteering nights to run a "Black History" after-school program at my school. She used to inscribe books and cards she gave us with phrases like "to my beautiful African daughters" (we were Canadians with Caribbean heritage, but she was very roots conscious :-) ). She enrolled us into a secular gospel-styled choir and we learned songs about heroines, heroes and our history. I'm sure there were more of her efforts that I didn't notice and haven't appreciated. I guess my point is that most of our exposure and casual absorption of non-mainstream culture and beauty standards happened at home and among our family's circle of friends, and through the cultural events we were taken to (Caribana, afro-caribbean dance performances or classes and so on).
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Old 03-10-2016, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Bronx
481 posts, read 427,442 times
Reputation: 445
To the OP, this is something I learned from reading Toni Morrison's descriptions of people and it occurred to me that it's something else that you can try. When you're picking crayons with her or describing people's skin tones, you can use a variety of evocative words, like "cinnamon", "nutmeg", "brown sugar". Just a thought.
I hope this helps a little.
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Old 04-07-2016, 01:12 AM
 
977 posts, read 1,011,023 times
Reputation: 1060
This is why multiculturalism doesn't work... Not a fan of diversity. Let's just all stay with our own. That's sad to hear about your daughter tho! Seriously you should move somewhere that's full of Carabieans! I think that should be a must! After me (white person) having to go to school with a bunch of non white people it's hard! I can relate to your daughter! I think you should definitely be around people similar to her! She will feel more included, happier, and be around people with a similar culture! Again, the best thing you could do is move to a school with Carabieans.
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Old 04-07-2016, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Toronto
6,750 posts, read 5,723,053 times
Reputation: 4619
Default Don't agree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seattle4321 View Post
This is why multiculturalism doesn't work... Not a fan of diversity. Let's just all stay with our own. That's sad to hear about your daughter tho! Seriously you should move somewhere that's full of Carabieans! I think that should be a must! After me (white person) having to go to school with a bunch of non white people it's hard! I can relate to your daughter! I think you should definitely be around people similar to her! She will feel more included, happier, and be around people with a similar culture! Again, the best thing you could do is move to a school with Carabieans.
I don't agree with the anti-multicultural vibe. Also want to add why should she have to be pushed in either direction ex white/ Anglo-Canadian or Caribbean. Also from my experiences being from a white family from the Caribbean, you should not assume that the Caribbean community will be more excepting of her. Culture, religion and race are not the same thing. Being from the Caribbean is not really a cookie cutter thing and is not really a race ( there is diversity going on there too) and the child's father is from where my family is from and that country has historical internal racial struggles too). I think being in a multicultural area is a good thing for everyone as it forces people to actually get to know people for who they are and not just make stereotypes about people or assume they have certain preferences, values or interests without getting to know them as an individual. Ex Who says that Muslim girl from Iran wearing a burka does not like Rock music? Who says that Sikh guy wearing a traditional turban does not like hockey?

Living in a multicultural and multifaith environment can be enriching and has a lot to offer. I think it can help people feel more connected to people that appear different then themselves in terms of appearance, culture or religion and discover that there are comparable chances of being able to connect with anyone on some level that transcends physical appearance, culture or religion. I left my Toronto Catholic High School cocoon in the last year of high school to try out public school for a year and it was an excellent opportunity to meet people from other cultural groups and religions that I was very unlikely to meet or interact with if I did not transfer schools. It was a great experience.

We need more bridges and less walls. I think people in the world can evolve past the idea of needing to segregate people in to tribes based on physical appearence, religion and culture. I removed all my interactions with people that looked different then me, came from a different culture or practiced a different religion my life experiences would have been very limited and narrow and I would not be able to grasp as much of the world of possibilities that surround us every day.
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Old 04-07-2016, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Fort Benton, MT
910 posts, read 1,082,008 times
Reputation: 2730
My children are multi-racial. Two took after their mother and have olive skin, dark brown eyes, and jet black hair. Two took after me, with white skin and light hair. Kids ask all the time if they have the same father, but my kids have learned to deal with it. We live in Montana, so the racial makeup is very similar to Canada. In our area, it is 96% white, 2% Native American, and 2% everybody else. My oldest son went through phase where he hated the fact that he didn't look like everyone else. However as he is gotten closer to being a teenager that has changed, because he is different he gets more attention from girls(we are going to have an interesting high school experience with him).


I personally would reinforce the fact that she is more beautiful because she is different. She is going to be picked on, no matter what. Teaching her to change the negative into a positive is one of most important things you can teach her. More importantly, don't let this bother you as a parent. People as a whole are intolerant and bigoted. I hate how the media tries to portray white people as the only group. I have been to Europe and the hatred between different groups is very widespread. The French hate Italians, the Italians hate Greeks, etc.


I learned that people won't make fun of you if you make fun of yourself. When someone tried to pick on me, I would agree with them and then flip the argument. They would then give up and move on to some other kid. By the time I was in High School, the bullies never bothered me. It would have been an exercise in frustration for them.
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Old 04-07-2016, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Canada
7,363 posts, read 8,399,990 times
Reputation: 5260
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seattle4321 View Post
This is why multiculturalism doesn't work... Not a fan of diversity. Let's just all stay with our own. That's sad to hear about your daughter tho! Seriously you should move somewhere that's full of Carabieans! I think that should be a must! After me (white person) having to go to school with a bunch of non white people it's hard! I can relate to your daughter! I think you should definitely be around people similar to her! She will feel more included, happier, and be around people with a similar culture! Again, the best thing you could do is move to a school with Carabieans.
Yeah stay with your own. That's how it works in many prisons. But how is that supposed to work in a free civilized society where there is all kinds of people, that have the right to move and live anywhere they want, work where they want, date who they want etc etc? It must suck to be you with this type of mentality.
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Old 04-07-2016, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,750 posts, read 5,723,053 times
Reputation: 4619
Default Just an FYI ..

Quote:
Originally Posted by ericsvibe View Post
My children are multi-racial. Two took after their mother and have olive skin, dark brown eyes, and jet black hair. Two took after me, with white skin and light hair. Kids ask all the time if they have the same father, but my kids have learned to deal with it. We live in Montana, so the racial makeup is very similar to Canada. In our area, it is 96% white, 2% Native American, and 2% everybody else. My oldest son went through phase where he hated the fact that he didn't look like everyone else. However as he is gotten closer to being a teenager that has changed, because he is different he gets more attention from girls(we are going to have an interesting high school experience with him).


I personally would reinforce the fact that she is more beautiful because she is different. She is going to be picked on, no matter what. Teaching her to change the negative into a positive is one of most important things you can teach her. More importantly, don't let this bother you as a parent. People as a whole are intolerant and bigoted. I hate how the media tries to portray white people as the only group. I have been to Europe and the hatred between different groups is very widespread. The French hate Italians, the Italians hate Greeks, etc.


I learned that people won't make fun of you if you make fun of yourself. When someone tried to pick on me, I would agree with them and then flip the argument. They would then give up and move on to some other kid. By the time I was in High School, the bullies never bothered me. It would have been an exercise in frustration for them.
Just wanted to clarify this Canada for someone reading this that is not Canada is equally multicultural all over. The areas that are considered more multicultural are major cites. There are parts of Canada where you are going to find mainly Anglo, French Canadian or Aboriginal populations together or separately. So if you come to visit Canada and end up in some small town in the middle of northern Manitoba don`t expect to find a multicultural vibe that you will get in places like Toronto and the surrounding cities.
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Old 04-07-2016, 04:22 PM
 
977 posts, read 1,011,023 times
Reputation: 1060
Actually I love my own culture and don't need other to feel complete or happy! And you must not be able to see other viewpoints when people stay with there own there is NOT ALL this conflict and constant issues! It's more peaceful! I'm also not sure why you need to be rude and say it must suck to be you! Can you not debate something without needed to take things personal?
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Old 04-07-2016, 04:32 PM
 
977 posts, read 1,011,023 times
Reputation: 1060
To me being in a homogenous is so much more peaceful, and I feel a much stronger sense of community. Even if I am the minority I preferre to be in a homogeneous environment. But that's just how I feel!
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Old 04-11-2016, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Toronto
854 posts, read 585,800 times
Reputation: 672
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericsvibe View Post
My children are multi-racial. Two took after their mother and have olive skin, dark brown eyes, and jet black hair. Two took after me, with white skin and light hair. Kids ask all the time if they have the same father, but my kids have learned to deal with it. We live in Montana, so the racial makeup is very similar to Canada. In our area, it is 96% white, 2% Native American, and 2% everybody else. My oldest son went through phase where he hated the fact that he didn't look like everyone else. However as he is gotten closer to being a teenager that has changed, because he is different he gets more attention from girls(we are going to have an interesting high school experience with him).


I personally would reinforce the fact that she is more beautiful because she is different. She is going to be picked on, no matter what. Teaching her to change the negative into a positive is one of most important things you can teach her. More importantly, don't let this bother you as a parent. People as a whole are intolerant and bigoted. I hate how the media tries to portray white people as the only group. I have been to Europe and the hatred between different groups is very widespread. The French hate Italians, the Italians hate Greeks, etc.


I learned that people won't make fun of you if you make fun of yourself. When someone tried to pick on me, I would agree with them and then flip the argument. They would then give up and move on to some other kid. By the time I was in High School, the bullies never bothered me. It would have been an exercise in frustration for them.


I think overall this is a lovely post, I just wanted to point out that Montana's racial makeup is quite a bit different than Canada's. Canada is only 75% white; Montana is 89% white, with the largest minority group being native Americans. That's not really like us, especially our big cities compared to your area.
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