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A little about me: I am entering my senior year of university now. Up until a little over a year ago I mainly used to hang out with my friends from high school. But as time went on, we started to drift away from one another. Somehow I apparently started coming across as elitist when I tried to motivate them to do better with their lives. They just really didn't aspire for much more than smoking weed and hooking up while still out of their parents basement. I haven't been in contact with any of them for a all that time and while my life improved a great deal at first, the social isolation is starting to take its toll. I have tried to meet people at the places I frequent like the gym, pick-up sports, and at school as well but while people may be cool it doesn't seem like they will ever see me as anything more than an acquaintance. They all seem to have their own social circles from high school and have no apparent interest in meeting new people.
Is this the norm in this city or am I just an unlikeable ****head? I would hope it is the latter and for the longest time I thought that was the case. I don't like to ever place the blame on others but I don't know anymore. I remember one guy who was new to the city a few years back complaining about this as well and I just dismissed it at the time.
A little about me: I am entering my senior year of university now. Up until a little over a year ago I mainly used to hang out with my friends from high school. But as time went on, we started to drift away from one another. Somehow I apparently started coming across as elitist when I tried to motivate them to do better with their lives. They just really didn't aspire for much more than smoking weed and hooking up while still out of their parents basement. I haven't been in contact with any of them for a all that time and while my life improved a great deal at first, the social isolation is starting to take its toll. I have tried to meet people at the places I frequent like the gym, pick-up sports, and at school as well but while people may be cool it doesn't seem like they will ever see me as anything more than an acquaintance. They all seem to have their own social circles from high school and have no apparent interest in meeting new people.
Is this the norm in this city or am I just an unlikeable ****head? I would hope it is the latter and for the longest time I thought that was the case. I don't like to ever place the blame on others but I don't know anymore. I remember one guy who was new to the city a few years back complaining about this as well and I just dismissed it at the time.
Things change. I eneded freindships with most of my high school freinds by the end of universtiy. It is hard maintain freindships with people that go to different school or are not in school at all when you are in university. Guess what once your freinds start getting married and having kids it gets even worse. I have heard good things about meetup.com. Otherwise there can be some challenges apparents. I was out last week with someone and this guy of out no where approached us asking the same question. He striaght out asked up if there was something wrong with him or people in this city as like everyone just seems to think you are trying to ask them for money or scam they when you approach them to talk and you are just trying to be freindly. The ironic things was in my head I was waiting for the catch ex is he going to be trying to ask me for money or something ... totally sad, but honestly that is what I was thinking. To be honest especially where we were talking most people that be stop of talk to you are either trying to ask you for money, tell you about their religion or someone trying to pick you up ( and it was not likely another man unless crazy is going to try and pick up a women standing with another man). Then in my head I was like wow .. how messed up is this attitude. And just to be clear I was a female with a male so he was not trying to pick someone up anyone. He literally was just trying to be freindly and talk to people. Anyways we talked with him for a bit and it was certainly a moment where I was like wow how embarassing for people in Toronto.
The best friends you can have outside your family are people whom you share a hobby with, like playing music, volleyball, whatever...anyway don't worry about being a ****head, as these types of people end up in critical job positions because they tend to get things done. Just make sure you're good at what you do
An adult should learn to live without constant companionship.
Those "friends" will soon move to the soul sucking suburbs for their double garage house 30 km from the city anyway.
I have to admit, it is a tough place to make friends, people are too busy with their lives, people are a bit sociopathic and too reserved here, I have a few friends and it is difficult to grow and make new friends. I have a few friends left from high-school and that should be it before I have none, so yeah I agree it is quite tough as people are a little insecure as-well here to be approached by strangers thinking that they could be a beggar or a psychopath or something, so most people here are acquaintances to each other, for an example they will go to school for a year together and after that pretend that they never seen each other or not know each other, The best way to make friends here is not in public but in events or clubs or stuff like that since people here actually don't like being approached outside.
An adult should learn to live without constant companionship.
Those "friends" will soon move to the soul sucking suburbs for their double garage house 30 km from the city anyway.
OMG so you like know all my freinds too ! They all literally move in to the forests of suburbia and they tell me off about not driving or being willing to drive 2 to 3 hours to hang out for 30 minutes while husbands or parents watch their kids lol.
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Lol
! They all literally move in to the forests of suburbia and they tell me off about not driving or being willing to drive 2 to 3 hours to hang out for 30 minutes while husbands or parents watch their kids lol.
