Typical social graces In Toronto..... (crime, home, wedding)

[klmrocks]

Looking for feedback...

If you were driving would you ever stop at a bus stop to offer someone a ride?

Would you think this was a kind gesture or strange?

Over the last few years this has happened to me a few times and I found it unsettling.

In general the idea of someone offering someone waiting for the bus seems nice.

However the idea of accepting a ride from a stranger is insanely dangerous so why would a stranger even dare to offer?

Context ....

Once I was walking with a lot of stuff and it was a taxi driver offering me a free ride as he was going the same way. Less out there as he is working as a taxi and I had a crazy amount of stuff with me. I declined as thanked him for the offer.

I was walking home around 10 pm and the roads were very icy and a man pulled over to ask if I wanted a ride. I thanked him, but decline. As the risk of getting in to a car a night with a stranger was worse then me potentially fall on my butt on slippery side walks.

It was starting to rain hard and I was waking home without an unmbrella. If was around 11 pm at night. Gut in a pick up truck pulls over to offer me a ride. I thanked him but declined.

Walking yo the bus stop with my head phone on not exactly carrying a lot of stuff and the weather was good. A taxi driver flags me down to offer me a free ride as he is going up to the main road any ways. I accepted after he insisted. I felt a bit more comfortable doing this as it was someone older who presented as being very religious, also wearing a wedding ring and it was not very far and wa actually late. Still could have been crazy ... but took a risk as it was in the day. Thought god was looking out for me on that case.

Last time was in the morning around 9:30 am and I was standing in front of the bus stop not holding a lot of stuff. Guy around the same age pulls over and rolls down his window to offer me a ride. I thanked him but declined... he asked again saying I am sure.. but I thanks him again and I declined. It was not that cold.

I think on one hand this people may have been just trying to be nice....but on another hand don’t these men realize how extremely dangerous and tabu it is for a woman to take a ride from a stranger?

I think I’m some respects I am extra cautious as I am seriously wearing a lot of expensive jewelry and don’t want to get robbed.... also don’t want to end up in a unmarked grave.

Anyone else in the habit of offering rides to strangers in the city?

Would other women be willing to take these rides and I am just being paranoid?

Really looking for some feedback as I curious as to how others view this situation.

[fusion2]

I have honestly never been in a situation whereby I felt I needed to ride with a stranger and I've never been asked. In your cases I think the majority were probably just guys being nice and feeling sorry for you. It is sad but you always have to take into account that it only takes one time. You are put into an extremely vulnerable position - they have the power when you accept a ride from a stranger, especially as a woman.

Another thing is, these days practically everyone has a mobile with data and an uber driver is almost always only a few minutes away so i'd stick with that personally. For me this isn't a Toronto thing either - it would apply practically anywhere.

[klmrocks]

Originally Posted by fusion2

I have honestly never been in a situation whereby I felt I needed to ride with a stranger and I've never been asked. In your cases I think the majority were probably just guys being nice and feeling sorry for you. It is sad but you always have to take into account that it only takes one time. You are put into an extremely vulnerable position - they have the power when you accept a ride from a stranger, especially as a woman.

Another thing is, these days practically everyone has a mobile with data and an uber driver is almost always only a few minutes away so i'd stick with that personally. For me this isn't a Toronto thing either - it would apply practically anywhere.

The entire situation felt odd to me.
Please note as a teenager and in my 20s I use to get followed home as many girls did by crazy people with no boundaries back when living around Jane and Steeles. Back in the day when there were less cameras everywhere and not as many people has cell phones.

It is kind of strangle to me to think I am not capable of walking home or waiting on a bus? So for me it more often then not raised a red flag. Also makes me wonder why the hell they are not scared of me? For all they know I could a totally but case.

I sadly am one of those people that are always questioning everyone else's intentions and motives and has watched way to many crime shows and horror movies to just be jumping in to cars with strangers.

So drivers please be mindful that even though your intentions are good pulling over to offer a ride to someone walking unless they are in a state of emergency can be very intimidating and worrisome so best not to offer. It is just not a safe practice to push. Frankly it is scary and uncomfortable.

Even as a grown adult having a car pull over towards me when walking is scary. Living in a city kids are taught from very young to be fearful of being approached by strangers. Being approached by a stranger is a vehicle is top of the list of red flag situations. So just don't go there. Thanks but no thanks.