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Remind me to never try to engage in polite conversation with you then. Some people ask further questions just to be nice, others are genuinely curious about the rest of the world. Are you there to explore nature? Are you a huge football fan that follows one of their clubs? Do you have an interest in Spanish colonial history or architecture? Did one of those 'retire in Ecuador' internet spams get you curious about the place?
If you're going to make small talk, vacation plans are honestly a lot more interesting of a topic to me than yet another 'my toddler drew on the walls with permanent marker and then had a diaper change' ones.
First of all, it's not like I was impolite in the response. However, I do think that a blanket question of "Why are going to ______?" Is a bit ignorant. I would only ask a question like that if someone was going to some dangerous destination or somewhere that would be idiotic to visit. If someone tells me they are going somewhere I do make polite conversation. I might ask if they have family or friends there. Maybe ask where in the place they are going, maybe if I didn't know about the destination ask what kinds of things there are to do. Just asking why someone is going somewhere comes across as ignorant and close minded IMO. By the way, I agree with you 100% on the toddler examples.
I am guilty of this just recently......Wondered why my friend's 20 yr old daughter was traveling to Vietnam from Detroit with her 20 yr old boyfriend...just seemed an odd place for her to travel to....
Vietnam is actually becoming a fairly popular tourist destination.
Maybe a better way to put it is something like, "What do you hope to see/do there?" That goes for more obscure destinations, and the "typical" ones.
A friend of mine was planning a trip to Paris. I asked what he hoped to do there and he got mad at me, "It's Paris, do I need a reason!" and took 200 pictures of every typical tourist site, claimed to have great insight into the Muslim immigration into France because he "saw three women with head scarfs on the subway and there didn't seem to be any problem." Etc. Thirty muddy photos of Monet's flower garden. A picture of the Mona Lisa. He acted like he was going into the heart of darkness or something.
I still don't see the problem in asking what he hoped for from this vacation.
"What draws you to visit ____?" if you genuinely are interested in a person's travels.
I'm planning on visiting Ecuador this summer. I had a coworker ask what I was going to Ecuador for. I've never understood the reasoning for asking why someone is traveling somewhere. If I had to have a reason to go somewhere I would only go somewhere I was sent for a work training, to visit family, or would just leave the house because I needed to shop, go to the doctor, or go to work. I don't know, for me traveling just to see a new place or even going somewhere close by just to get out of the house for a while is ample enough reason to go somewhere. This isn't meant to be a complaint, just trying to understand this mentality. Thoughts?
To find out more about the places you are visiting and perhaps think about visiting themselves some day.
To find out what draws you to that particular place or if it was a random location.
To ask about your life and show interest in you and the things you care about and do.
I would guess that you "never" ask anyone why they do anything right?
If you do what is your "mentality" when you do so?
I like to travel, but a lot of times people I know are traveling someplace that I probably wouldn't consider on my own. So I ask people why they chose a certain destination and if the answer interests me enough, then I will often look into that destination more as a potential destination for myself as well. Of course, when they come back, I also want to hear all about the trip.
Also, nobody says that you NEED a reason to go to a specific place, but more than likely there was a reason that you chose that place.
First of all, it's not like I was impolite in the response. However, I do think that a blanket question of "Why are going to ______?" Is a bit ignorant. I would only ask a question like that if someone was going to some dangerous destination orsomewhere that would be idiotic to visit. If someone tells me they are going somewhere I do make polite conversation. I might ask if they have family or friends there. Maybe ask where in the place they are going, maybe if I didn't know about the destination ask what kinds of things there are to do. Just asking why someone is going somewhere comes across as ignorant and close minded IMO. By the way, I agree with you 100% on the toddler examples.
So somebody that asks why you're going someplace is ignorant and close minded, but you viewing a place as dangerous or idiotic to visit isn't? Obviously, there are places in the world that we can all view as dangerous, but there are plenty of places that aren't dangerous that people still view as dangerous. So your feeling that a place would be dangerous doesn't necessarily make it so.
As far as being an idiotic place to visit, who makes that decision? If the person wants to visit a place, then it isn't idiotic to them. I will gladly tell anybody that asks where I'm going and if they want to make me feel stupid for picking a certain destination, then that will be the last thing they say to me about my vacation destinations. If they've been to the place and didn't enjoy it, that's fine because they are entitled to their opinion, but it doesn't mean that my experience will be the same as theirs.
Also, if somebody says to you, "I'm going to _________ next week" and you respond with "Do you have friends or family there?" that's the same as asking why somebody is going someplace. If they don't have friends or family, they will probably volunteer to tell you why they are going and if they don't, you will more than likely ask. Either way though, no matter how you word it, the question is actually, "Why are you going there?" That, in your opinion, is ignorant.
As with much else, some have views, perceptions or preferences that is assumed everyone else possesses the same as they. I've seen this throughout my adult life. I honestly don't want to spend time explaining after being asked why I still see particular musicians in concert, or why I don't keep the same hours as they or not begin my day by drinking coffee. Some are so rooted, they cannot it imagine that others would possibly do anything differently.
Last edited by In2itive_1; 03-06-2015 at 08:20 AM..
Reason: Typo
Boring people ask this because they think the world outside of their 1x1 square metre perimetre is just absolute chaos at all times.
agreed
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