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Old 03-13-2015, 05:27 AM
 
13,721 posts, read 19,175,329 times
Reputation: 16970

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I think you are trying to control too much. This is HER birthday trip and you are only one of the four people possibly going. Also, you said it's your only vacation this year and now you say you are going to St. Martin (and Spain, although for work). I do think you are being too picky and I don't think it's fair of you to try to "gently" force things to go your way. I think you should just excuse yourself from the trip so she can have the trip she wants for her birthday without having to work around your likes/dislikes.
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Old 03-13-2015, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Silver Spring, MD
2,019 posts, read 1,732,768 times
Reputation: 2198
Quote:
Originally Posted by luzianne View Post
I think you are trying to control too much. This is HER birthday trip and you are only one of the four people possibly going. Also, you said it's your only vacation this year and now you say you are going to St. Martin (and Spain, although for work). I do think you are being too picky and I don't think it's fair of you to try to "gently" force things to go your way. I think you should just excuse yourself from the trip so she can have the trip she wants for her birthday without having to work around your likes/dislikes.
I completely disagree. From her posts it seems that the friend wants to be accommodating to OP's desire of where to go. I think the OP is afraid to be perceived as taking over but it seems that is what her friend wants her to do. The bigger issue is getting her friend so be more open to something other than an all inclusive
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Old 03-13-2015, 09:46 AM
 
Location: All Over
4,003 posts, read 6,074,365 times
Reputation: 3162
Okay first off as far as destinations Dominican and Mexico will be cheaper than Jamaica. Don't do AI in Jamaica unless you go to at least a RUI, if not a beaches or sandals. The budget AI's in Jamaica like Legends, Samsara, etc are not like true AI's, food isn't giant buffets its like maybe 2 selections some complain food runs out and its just not what you think when you think AI.

Jamaica is an awesome place to visit but a couple solo females may not be the best destination, especially currently as there's some issues iwth hotel breaks and muggings. Here's an interesting post explaining hte situation Jamaica Farewell: Why I Cancelled My Jamaican Vacation & Why I Won't Be Going Back Anytime Soon!!! ~ Rules For Rebels. It's a great place but maybe wait a year or two and let them clean things up.

I'm like you I like going to local places. That said keep in mind your going to be dumping a lot of money going around to different bars and restaurants, AI is nice in that everything is included and you dont have to eat at the resort. I get that you paid for your food so if you go elsewhere you rkind of wasting money but you can do it.

I love boutique hotels and local restaurants but honestly after my last trip or two its fun finding places to eat for the first couple days. Afetr 2 or 3 days and worn down afer a long day in the sun I often find myself wishing I could just walk downstairs to a buffet or order some free room service.

I really think you should look into playa del carmen. Beaches aren't as good as other destinations but stay in town cheap boutique hotels, hotel fusion is on the beach, kind of a hip place, great restaurant, summer rates about $55 a night. There's a million other cool little hotels like checkout hotel kinbe, playa palms, and others. Playa is very americanized which may be a good thing or bad thing but there are local stuff if you get off 5th ave and thhat is the best places. there's a great bar scene, club scene, its safe. You can take the bus up and down the coast for just a couple bucks to check out tulum or akumel turtle beach, etc.

I think you guys may really enjoy that
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Old 03-13-2015, 10:07 AM
 
17,273 posts, read 9,516,827 times
Reputation: 16468
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan View Post
I 'could' suck it up, but this may be my only vacation this year so I can't help I 'want to go where I want to go'. We're considering a trip for 8 nights and that would be a lot of money so I have my preferences... *shrugs*
Then I suggest you forego her birthday trip & stick to your Mexico trip. It's her birthday, she should be the one choosing the destination ultimately.
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Old 03-13-2015, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Somewhere
4,198 posts, read 4,710,210 times
Reputation: 3179
Quote:
Originally Posted by luzianne View Post
I think you are trying to control too much. This is HER birthday trip and you are only one of the four people possibly going. Also, you said it's your only vacation this year and now you say you are going to St. Martin (and Spain, although for work). I do think you are being too picky and I don't think it's fair of you to try to "gently" force things to go your way. I think you should just excuse yourself from the trip so she can have the trip she wants for her birthday without having to work around your likes/dislikes.
I said this 'may' be my only vacation this year. I am in the planning stages for everything from Spain to St. Martin, hence the reason I am anxious about nailing stuff down because right now the only place I 'know' I 'have' to go for sure right now is Spain, and again, that is for work (but of course I will try to see a few spots so I have to plan for money going there now...work trips are nice because you get to see a few things but they are very hectic/busy and not what I would call a vacation). A lot of the time you end up doing what your team wants to do as a whole.

Anyways maybe I didn't mention this but the only place I had planned on going to this year for sure for a vacation for myself was to Mexico in September (I'd consider San Juan as a backup). So at the time she called me asking about a birthday trip in September then this dilemma of going with her versus going alone came up and of course the best of both worlds would be to go where I want with her. Just trying to figure all of this out as I am a considerate person and if I felt the other person felt strong about planning the trip or where they were going, etc., I would have backed out immediately. Only reason I'm even re-considering at this point 'is' because I want her to have fun and not feel pressured into doing what I want but it's hard to determine that based on the passiveness so far. The last thing I want is for her not to enjoy herself but according to her she says I always do good at planning, taking people to the best places to eat and have fun, etc.
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Old 03-13-2015, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Somewhere
4,198 posts, read 4,710,210 times
Reputation: 3179
Quote:
Originally Posted by shellymdnv View Post
I completely disagree. From her posts it seems that the friend wants to be accommodating to OP's desire of where to go. I think the OP is afraid to be perceived as taking over but it seems that is what her friend wants her to do. The bigger issue is getting her friend so be more open to something other than an all inclusive
Agreed.

Actually it's also an issue of trying to nail down her and her friends' budgets and preferences now. I think everyone is just waiting because it's March and the trip would be in September, but if all of the other destinations I mentioned earlier end up happening for me (Spain, St. Martin, etc.) then I need to know specifics about this trip now so I can start budgeting and planning things now or it could end up being that come the summer when she wants to start making definitive plans and getting money together, etc., I 'might' not be able to go.

I guess the OCD part of me wants to reserve our lodging now and have people start paying on it now so it's done by summer. Then people can save over the summer for their flight and have that purchased by September. We'd be making movement on things instead of waiting for the right Groupon deal....
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Old 03-13-2015, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Somewhere
4,198 posts, read 4,710,210 times
Reputation: 3179
Quote:
Originally Posted by doodlemagic View Post
Okay first off as far as destinations Dominican and Mexico will be cheaper than Jamaica. Don't do AI in Jamaica unless you go to at least a RUI, if not a beaches or sandals. The budget AI's in Jamaica like Legends, Samsara, etc are not like true AI's, food isn't giant buffets its like maybe 2 selections some complain food runs out and its just not what you think when you think AI.

Jamaica is an awesome place to visit but a couple solo females may not be the best destination, especially currently as there's some issues iwth hotel breaks and muggings. Here's an interesting post explaining hte situation Jamaica Farewell: Why I Cancelled My Jamaican Vacation & Why I Won't Be Going Back Anytime Soon!!! ~ Rules For Rebels. It's a great place but maybe wait a year or two and let them clean things up.

I'm like you I like going to local places. That said keep in mind your going to be dumping a lot of money going around to different bars and restaurants, AI is nice in that everything is included and you dont have to eat at the resort. I get that you paid for your food so if you go elsewhere you rkind of wasting money but you can do it.

I love boutique hotels and local restaurants but honestly after my last trip or two its fun finding places to eat for the first couple days. Afetr 2 or 3 days and worn down afer a long day in the sun I often find myself wishing I could just walk downstairs to a buffet or order some free room service.

I really think you should look into playa del carmen. Beaches aren't as good as other destinations but stay in town cheap boutique hotels, hotel fusion is on the beach, kind of a hip place, great restaurant, summer rates about $55 a night. There's a million other cool little hotels like checkout hotel kinbe, playa palms, and others. Playa is very americanized which may be a good thing or bad thing but there are local stuff if you get off 5th ave and thhat is the best places. there's a great bar scene, club scene, its safe. You can take the bus up and down the coast for just a couple bucks to check out tulum or akumel turtle beach, etc.

I think you guys may really enjoy that
Thanks for the info...actually, Playa del Carmen is in the plan. I'm just trying to see if she agrees to/chooses Mexico. I through Cancun out there because everyone's familiar with Cancun. If she/the group agrees to Mexico then I'll ease them into my real plan...which is splitting the trip between both Cancun and Playa del Carmen.
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Old 03-13-2015, 01:31 PM
 
1,344 posts, read 1,736,071 times
Reputation: 1750
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan View Post
I said this 'may' be my only vacation this year. I am in the planning stages for everything from Spain to St. Martin, hence the reason I am anxious about nailing stuff down because right now the only place I 'know' I 'have' to go for sure right now is Spain, and again, that is for work (but of course I will try to see a few spots so I have to plan for money going there now...work trips are nice because you get to see a few things but they are very hectic/busy and not what I would call a vacation). A lot of the time you end up doing what your team wants to do as a whole.

Anyways maybe I didn't mention this but the only place I had planned on going to this year for sure for a vacation for myself was to Mexico in September (I'd consider San Juan as a backup). So at the time she called me asking about a birthday trip in September then this dilemma of going with her versus going alone came up and of course the best of both worlds would be to go where I want with her. Just trying to figure all of this out as I am a considerate person and if I felt the other person felt strong about planning the trip or where they were going, etc., I would have backed out immediately. Only reason I'm even re-considering at this point 'is' because I want her to have fun and not feel pressured into doing what I want but it's hard to determine that based on the passiveness so far. The last thing I want is for her not to enjoy herself but according to her she says I always do good at planning, taking people to the best places to eat and have fun, etc.
Why are you even factoring anything into the cost of your trip to Spain? This is a business trip and therefore your employer should be paying for all of your expenses.
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Old 03-13-2015, 02:22 PM
 
Location: Somewhere
4,198 posts, read 4,710,210 times
Reputation: 3179
Quote:
Originally Posted by papafox View Post
Why are you even factoring anything into the cost of your trip to Spain? This is a business trip and therefore your employer should be paying for all of your expenses.
Because my employer didn't pay for when we went to the jade market or to see the Big Buddha on our last trip to Hong Kong. You don't go to another part of the world and have 'everything' expensed by your company unless the only things you plan on doing are working, sleeping and eating.
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Old 03-13-2015, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,267,096 times
Reputation: 50369
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan View Post
I 'could' suck it up, but this may be my only vacation this year so I can't help I 'want to go where I want to go'. We're considering a trip for 8 nights and that would be a lot of money so I have my preferences... *shrugs*
8 nights for $400 ($500 flight)? Are you sure that's possible? At that rate you'll almost HAVE to do one of the cheaper all-inclusives...otherwise, I want to know your hotel choices! ...please!
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