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A lot of people are very emotionally invested in their homes. I'm sure that she felt a but insulted by your stringent requirements. She probably has worked very hard to make her home comfortable and appealing.
Even so, she really should not take things so personally. You are NEVER going to please everybody.
OP has preferences. She didn't demand anything from the Airbnb host.
Exactly. I did the host a favor by revealing my preferences upfront instead of booking directly, hating it because it smells bad and is noisy and leaving her a 2 or 3 star review (which is considered bad). Those preferences included: a quiet place that's not adjacent to train tracks, has quiet hours (so guess what, I could sleep at night and feel refreshed in the morning for work) and was for non smokers. Her replies failed to meet my preferences so I turned her down. I certainly didn't demand that she quit smoking and that there had to be quiet hours from let's say 11pm-7am (which is the norm for many homes on airbnb).
She was obnoxious, but probably felt insulted by your "rejection" - and for whatever reason, had to get it off her chest. So I'd just ignore her! But I do have to ask, why is it so weird (or however you perceived it) that she sent the message at 1am? Lots of adults stay up past midnight, and not everyone works M-F / 9-5 type hours. And for those of us who aren't in bed by 12, that is exactly when we'd be doing online stuff like that.
It's not as though she CALLED you, so I don't get why that was even worth mentioning. Hate to say it, but that does kinda justify her suspicion that you'd be a demanding guest.
I agree, she was obnoxious. Here's why what she did grinds my gears. At first she pretended to be polite. I wished her well and was polite when I rejected her offer. I thought we were done. A day passes. Again, I thought that was the end of it. Then suddenly out of the blue, she sends that insulting message at 1am , on a weeknight, with a clear intention to get a rise out of me and you know what? It worked. My phone's WiFi was on and I saw a notification about a new message. I go to check it and it's some sore loser host who's upset I didn't book a room in her house telling me she's happy I'm not staying with her? It riled me up enough that I got upset, posted about it and it interrupted my sleep. Why would she intentionally cause me grief just because she didn't get what she wanted? That rudeness, along with her trying to circumvent airbnb's rules to keep all communication on the platform are tempting me to report her.
And to answer someone else, I never said ban her. A one month suspension or "time out" to sit in her corner may be enough to send her the message that her behavior is not acceptable.
I'm a contract worker and staying in short to medium term housing, mostly month to month and sometimes shorter like airbnb. The other day I had my eye on a house with a private room, there shared kitchen and other common areas, but with a private bathroom. The reviews were good and the host seemed cheerful in her listing and profile pic so I sent her an inquiry about a potential 3 week trip (stay in her home).
I complimented her on the listing, on her reviews and asked if it was OK that I asked a few questions.
My questions:
1. Is your house near train tracks, does the bedroom face a busy road or are there other disturbances you can think of that would affect a light sleeper?
2. Does the room overlook the garden, driveway or side of the house?
3. Do you impose quiet hours?
4. Does anyone smoke or is a non smoking environment (I asked after I had visited a house the day before that had distinctive smoke smell that led to a sore throat and smelly clothing after I got back home).
Her reply:
Thanks for your inquiry, sedona, it would be my pleasure to answer them. Thanks for thinking of staying in my home for an extended period (3 weeks is considered longer than the usual for airbnb I guess).
1. There are no train tracks but the bedroom does face the road. It's a quiet place (although a previous reviewer said the neighborhood was noisy)
2. See 1, it faces the road.
3. No quiet hours , we expect mutual respect. (Turns out the host is a night owl, more on that later).
4. It's a non smoking environment but yes, I am (she, the host) a smoker. I respect others and smoke outdoors only.
Then she went on to say how she understands my sensitivities and rest assured it will be a peaceful and pleasant stay. (So far so good, except for the smoking part).
I didn't reply right away so she followed up asking if she had replied to my questions, enough to make a choice.
I replied: Yes you did, thanks. Sorry, but I won't be able to reserve the room as I prefer a strictly non smoking environment shared with non smokers and a room that faces a forest or backyard, not the street. I also explained how I had a bad physical reaction following recent exposure to third hand smoke /smell.
She replied immediately assuring me she's clean and not to worry, as compensation for not completely meeting my needs, she was willing to offer me a discount. She offered a price (still too high, IMO, and the smoking and street side were both deal breakers). She then tried writing her phone number in the app but it was blocked (against airbnb rules to give out phone numbers and avoid their booking system). Then when I didn't reply or call her (number was hidden), she concluded with:
Fine, you know what...you're not interested so good luck. (I thought that was the end of it).
I replied the next day pointing out her number was blocked by airbnb and wished her good luck - also told her: no hard feelings on the smoking thing.
A day passes, I've moved on and contacted other hosts, booking another room as a trial and am seriously considering moving out of my current place into there for the next 1-2 months...when the smoking host comes back with a petty message as follows:
--I sincerely hope you found another place that suits your needs. You're too demanding for me. I am happy not to have you here at my house anyway. --
She sent this at 1am on a weekday. Nice. What would motivate someone to write something like that , much less someone who's supposed to be a hospitable host? Would you report her for trying to circumvent the rules by trying to communicate her phone number to me and for that petty insult at the end, would you reply with an insult, or just block her and archive the conversation so I don't have to see her face and words in my inbox?
Possibly she was drunk. It was not a normal thing to do. As for reporting her, that is your judgement call.
I'd report her, but that's the kind of gal I am. I have a sense of responsibility to warn others or help others avoid a bad situation. I also think in terms of, if this was my business, would I want to know? Plus, I think idiots deserve consequences for bad or unprofessional behavior.
I don't think your questions were unreasonable or rude whatsoever.
It sounds like she's a drinker and a smoker, too. Sounds like it would have been a roommate from hell situation.
I have only been in one AirBnB rental, and it was a separate guest house on someone's property. I would never be comfortable renting a room in a stranger's home with shared facilities. That's hard enough to do with people you like and know really well.
I agree, she was obnoxious. Here's why what she did grinds my gears. At first she pretended to be polite. I wished her well and was polite when I rejected her offer. I thought we were done. A day passes. Again, I thought that was the end of it. Then suddenly out of the blue, she sends that insulting message at 1am , on a weeknight, with a clear intention to get a rise out of me and you know what? It worked. My phone's WiFi was on and I saw a notification about a new message. I go to check it and it's some sore loser host who's upset I didn't book a room in her house telling me she's happy I'm not staying with her? It riled me up enough that I got upset, posted about it and it interrupted my sleep. Why would she intentionally cause me grief just because she didn't get what she wanted? That rudeness, along with her trying to circumvent airbnb's rules to keep all communication on the platform are tempting me to report her.
And to answer someone else, I never said ban her. A one month suspension or "time out" to sit in her corner may be enough to send her the message that her behavior is not acceptable.
I respect any consumer pre vetting a place of tenancy.
A similar matter came across our client survey. (This is done after they vacate).
Much was Presumption that colored the rational side.
Example: our policy at our social gathering of appetizers includes two alcohol bev. Optional of course. Yet the person tells on the survey...."unlimited alcohol bev". That was untrue and led to a reprimand by our headquarters. As we are not a license for serving more then 16 Oz of adult bev. Yet now we are dealing with damage control on this person saying that we provide it...oy vey!
Person also did NOT understand that when the establishment has a full blown kitchen in each studio. ..we don't have an on site 24/7 fine dining restaurant.
Yet we still make an effort to have two "free" meals Monday thru Friday for those in a hurry...
But the person chose not to see the benefit in the kitchen and instead complained that a Michelin awarded restaurant was not on site for his use.
So yeah I get the pre investigating a place. I get how asking the right questions can appease the sale. Where I tend to take cause is the client who self fills in their expectation and assumes things that are false. So yes the airbnb person was aggressive. I would have thanked you for your inquiry and moved on to another prospect.
Neither side benefits when some expectations aren't in alignment with reality. Do they deserve a negative review? Hardly...because you didn't enter into a contract.
I make my living via the online world (not AIRBNB) and if there is one thing I have learned is to avoid difficult people. Some people are just impossible to please or do not want to be pleased but revel in a confrontation. There is no amount of money worth the aggravation and potential bad rep might get at the end. Not to mention a request for a partial or full refund. In my world for what it is worth 95% are a breeze to deal with but its those 5% that cause all the problems. How to identify them early on and artfully avoid them is a very important skill to acquire.
The host from the start should have politely replied this does not seem like a good situation for you and I believe my location would not fit your criteria. I hope you can find a spot that will suit your needs. It should have ended right there.
Regarding the OP. I don't see why any of this is worth rehashing. Move on. Find a better situation. Enjoy your day and look forward not backwards. Our culture is too obsessed with getting even.
OP, move on and ignore her. No need to carryon with with some stranger that may have a mental deficiency.
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