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Of course I will disagree based on my individual experiences, but you seem to infer generally, Evelyn that those of us who are of lighter hue have it so good.
My intention wasn't to imply that lighter hued black men or women, have it "so good." Everyone has challenges, regardless of color/race, socioeconomic status, etc. As an aside, my life is good and I wouldn't trade my color for anything in the world. But with that said, I do recognize that there are unfortunately, many negative stereotypes and perceptions about dark skin women, which directly and indirectly impacts my life.
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I am very aware of the color hierarchy in the world and I would be foolish to deny it's very existence and insidious effect it has on human relations and to also include the colorism within our own community.
As an extension, how can you arrive at a conclusion based on the dating/mating choices of the black men you saw from one island? The world is bigger than Aruba and I know plenty of black men, myself included who have dated/prefer and are married to dark skinned black women. But in general, people are going to date and marry who they wish.
My statement wasn't just about the black men in Aruba. It was based on what I've generally observed about upper income black men. But you are correct, people will date and marry who they wish.
I received the following response from the restaurant:
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We were very surprised to read your review. This because you did not give any clues of whom was your server or what you ate. And what experience lead to rate us a Terrible? We are a small operation where the owner personally welcomes each guest, and visit each table to generate feedback. You would be doing us a favor if you could provide more details. You can contact me either by phone or email at ______
When I wrote the review, I did not mention my race or the discriminatory behavior exhibited by the restaurant staff. I spoke about feeling "un welcomed," and briefly touched on the general rude and unpleasant undertones from the staff. I intentionally didn't mention my background, because I wanted to remain anonymous.
I will not be responding in any way to the restaurant.
I think you should have written the review the way you wrote your post. It may have saved other black people from having the same experience.
When I lived in Staten Island, a Russian grocery store that carried a large number of imported Russian foods opened in our neighborhood. I am a big fan of authentic Russian black bread and went in a few times to buy it and some imported Russian cookies. I went in with my wife one afternoon and we bought some bread and milk and were browsing the aisles and I noticed two young women behind the counter were laughing at us. We were the only customers and the women were watching us and laughing at us. I mentioned it to my wife and she agreed. I paid for the groceries and left them on the ground outside the doorway. Prejudice does hurt and doesn't have to be based on race though it is based on ignorance and rudeness at the least.
I have been treated rudely at a couple of NYC Mexican restaurants and very well at others. I have posted before that my vacation in Gudalajara in 1970 was one of the best times I ever had in my life. Maybe it is just the working culture at a given place that is to blame. At one NYC Mexican restaurant I paid with a hundred dollar bill for a $99.98 bill and told the waiter to keep the change. The look on his face was priceless. Needless to say I would never return to any establishment where I was treated poorly, or even leave a tip.
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Originally Posted by Evelyn2019
Update:
I received the following response from the restaurant:
When I wrote the review, I did not mention my race or the discriminatory behavior exhibited by the restaurant staff. I spoke about feeling "un welcomed," and briefly touched on the general rude and unpleasant undertones from the staff. I intentionally didn't mention my background, because I wanted to remain anonymous.
I will not be responding in any way to the restaurant.
I think you should have written the review the way you wrote your post. It may have saved other black people from having the same experience.
I agree with this. If you wrote your review like this post and I saw it it would definitely save me a trip from going there if I were considering the same place.
... For example, when you are brown, many of them will view you as one of them. The general belief appears to be that there is no real need to wait on you, or over extend themselves, on your behalf, because you are just like them, or "in the family." I experienced several local tour guides (while on tour), tell me all sorts of sordid details about their lives (even though I had absolutely no interest, and never inquired nor wanted to know). The same tour guides however, seemed to be on their best professional behavior when interacting with the white guests. Honestly, I had to laugh at times, to stop myself from getting peeved.
I'm sorry that you've had such a horrible experience there. Over a decade ago, my step-brother had a destination wedding in Aruba but I was unable to attend due to the cost at the time. My family is very obviously Black (African-American and most range from dark skin to very dark skin) but apparently had no racial problems while there.
In regard to what I've quoted from your post, I experience this all the time from African-Americans service-industry people, cashiers, and the like when I go to businesses throughout the USA. However, the southern states are the worst. Not only do they avoid over-extending themselves but they get too comfortable and talk / laugh loudly with each other about non-work related chatter, slow down the work pace, discuss personal issues, and/or complain about the job, the pay, the work hours, how tired they are, how the company is not paying them enough to put up with xyz, how ready they are to go home, to go out to the club, problems with BF/GF, baby daddy / baby mama, you name it. Some of these individuals will put on their half-way professional behavior for the White customers but get comfortable with me simply because I'm "one of" them. I've experienced this regularly while traveling. I do not like it.
To be fair, I've seen other of these individuals remain unprofessional with Whites too. It won't fly with White customers though because Whites will complain swiftly and immediately to management until something happens; the person is reprimanded or fired. Someone like myself, on the other hand, don't want these persons to lose their jobs, seeing as they lack professionalism to rebound well, so I don't complain to management although I'm often tempted to.
I think you should have written the review the way you wrote your post. It may have saved other black people from having the same experience.
When I lived in Staten Island, a Russian grocery store that carried a large number of imported Russian foods opened in our neighborhood. I am a big fan of authentic Russian black bread and went in a few times to buy it and some imported Russian cookies. I went in with my wife one afternoon and we bought some bread and milk and were browsing the aisles and I noticed two young women behind the counter were laughing at us. We were the only customers and the women were watching us and laughing at us. I mentioned it to my wife and she agreed. I paid for the groceries and left them on the ground outside the doorway. Prejudice does hurt and doesn't have to be based on race though it is based on ignorance and rudeness at the least.
I have been treated rudely at a couple of NYC Mexican restaurants and very well at others. I have posted before that my vacation in Gudalajara in 1970 was one of the best times I ever had in my life. Maybe it is just the working culture at a given place that is to blame. At one NYC Mexican restaurant I paid with a hundred dollar bill for a $99.98 bill and told the waiter to keep the change. The look on his face was priceless. Needless to say I would never return to any establishment where I was treated poorly, or even leave a tip.
Why in the world would you pay for the groceries and leave them on the ground outside? The people inside who were rude to you would have no idea why you acted in such a manner. It would have been better to confront them, at least ask them what was wrong. It may not have been prejudice. It may have been something else entirely; now you will never know.
Confronting them for what? Naturally they would have denied it. And I was not coming back. They knew we were there and left and left the few dollars worth of groceries on their doorstep. That was my message to them, rather than throw a brick through their window.
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Originally Posted by james777
Why in the world would you pay for the groceries and leave them on the ground outside? The people inside who were rude to you would have no idea why you acted in such a manner. It would have been better to confront them, at least ask them what was wrong. It may not have been prejudice. It may have been something else entirely; now you will never know.
Confronting them for what? Naturally they would have denied it. And I was not coming back. They knew we were there and left and left the few dollars worth of groceries on their doorstep. That was my message to them, rather than throw a brick through their window.
But why buy the groceries instead of just leaving? The store already has their money, they don't care what you do with your items after you've already purchased them.
Confronting them for what? Naturally they would have denied it. And I was not coming back. They knew we were there and left and left the few dollars worth of groceries on their doorstep. That was my message to them, rather than throw a brick through their window.
If they were Russian, they would have either told you, or said no of your business.
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