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I was on a flight from the mainland to Hawaii. I'd just sat down in my assigned seat and started reading a magazine when I hear a loud "Excuse me, ma'am, you're sitting next to my son and I need to switch you seats to sit next to him." I was kind of startled for a second but look over and sure enough there's a kid seated next to me. I remember thinking "did I do something wrong?" Her tone was almost accusatory like "how could you hesitate for one second not to move." It was a bit embarrassing as I felt like people all around were listening in and judging me or something. I say ... "Oh, okay," ask her for her seat number, get up and take my luggage and the mom just kind of stares at me like it was her seat the whole time.
I walk up to the front of the plane and ask the flight attendant for help finding the other seat and a new space for my baggage. She asks why I'm moving, I tell her what happened and she goes, "Wow, I'm sorry." That's when it dawned on me the lady was being pretty rude. I moved seats and it wasn't a huge deal minus having to awkwardly put my bag somewhere else with a bunch of other people boarding, and the way she asked. The new seat was in a comparable part of the plane and also a window seat. But it just got me thinking, in my opinion, you shouldn't expect the person seated next to your child will switch. I understand you have a small child but you should plan to book the seat next to them if it's that important to you, or a different flight if there's no two seats together that are available.
I want kids of myself at some point and I think if I were in her situation, I would ask very nicely, be apologetic and I would give the person some kind of little trinket for doing so. It just seems like some parents feel so entitled just because they have a child.
I read a story about someone who paid an extra $30 for a seat with additional legroom and a mom asked them to switch to a seat in the very back, so she could sit next to her child. Now granted it would have been "very nice" for them to switch but it also seems understandable that if you pay more for your seat, you don't want to switch for a worse seat. In that situation, It seems like the mom should offer the guy an extra $30 at least, to make the switch.
Anyway just a slight rant. I feel like I got walked over a bit. Curious what others think about these types of scenarios.
Speaking as a parent, I am very grateful to anyone who will switch seats with me to ensure that I can sit next to my child. I do everything I can beforehand to make sure that this will happen, but sometimes things happen to make it impossible. Maybe our originating flight was late and we barely made the connection, and didn't get to keep our originally assigned seats. Maybe the airline switched our assigned seats for some reason or another. Maybe we had to buy our tickets at the last minute (like for a funeral) and we weren't able to get seats together. And so on.
In cases where we aren't together, I will ask very politely if someone is willing to switch. If I can arrange a trade of like for like (window for window, aisle for aisle, etc.) I'll try it. I've had to do it a couple of times, and people have always been accommodating. But I would never rudely demand that someone move from their seat.
The only time I wasn't able to make it work was when our connecting flight was cancelled and we were rebooked on another one at the last minute. My son (who was a few days shy of turning 13 at the time) and I were the last two to board our very full replacement flight, and of course the only two seats left were widely scattered middle seats. I didn't even try to make a trade. We weren't happy about it, but sometimes, them's the breaks. We survived.
In the OP's situation, I would have feigned ignorance: "Oh, I'm sorry, am I sitting in your seat? Let me check my boarding pass." Once you've confirmed that you're in the right seat, you can then ask "What seat do you have?" If it's comparable, I would go ahead and make the trade. But if you're being asked to give up an aisle seat with extra legroom for a middle seat way in the back, I would politely decline and ask the mother to take it up with the flight attendant.
Of course, you'll then be stuck entertaining her child for the entire flight, or having the mother stand over you in the aisle to talk to her child. Might be easier just to make the switch. But if she's going to be rude about it, I think I'd refuse just on general principles.
Speaking as a parent, I am very grateful to anyone who will switch seats with me to ensure that I can sit next to my child. I do everything I can beforehand to make sure that this will happen, but sometimes things happen to make it impossible. Maybe our originating flight was late and we barely made the connection, and didn't get to keep our originally assigned seats. Maybe the airline switched our assigned seats for some reason or another. Maybe we had to buy our tickets at the last minute (like for a funeral) and we weren't able to get seats together. And so on.
In cases where we aren't together, I will ask very politely if someone is willing to switch. If I can arrange a trade of like for like (window for window, aisle for aisle, etc.) I'll try it. I've had to do it a couple of times, and people have always been accommodating. But I would never rudely demand that someone move from their seat.
The only time I wasn't able to make it work was when our connecting flight was cancelled and we were rebooked on another one at the last minute. My son (who was a few days shy of turning 13 at the time) and I were the last two to board our very full replacement flight, and of course the only two seats left were widely scattered middle seats. I didn't even try to make a trade. We weren't happy about it, but sometimes, them's the breaks. We survived.
In the OP's situation, I would have feigned ignorance: "Oh, I'm sorry, am I sitting in your seat? Let me check my boarding pass." Once you've confirmed that you're in the right seat, you can then ask "What seat do you have?" If it's comparable, I would go ahead and make the trade. But if you're being asked to give up an aisle seat with extra legroom for a middle seat way in the back, I would politely decline and ask the mother to take it up with the flight attendant.
Of course, you'll then be stuck entertaining her child for the entire flight, or having the mother stand over you in the aisle to talk to her child. Might be easier just to make the switch. But if she's going to be rude about it, I think I'd refuse just on general principles.
Thanks for the comment, I've had this happen years ago and if I remember, the mother asked nicely and quietly and it wasn't a big deal. I feel like people generally like being nice and doing something small is no big deal. I've switched with people who want to sit next to their partner or friend before too.
I guess my fear with going to the flight attendant in this situation would have been making a scene as everyone is boarding. I felt like everyone around me was listening and I didn't want a lot of attention. I would look like a jerk who is not allowing a mother to sit next to her small child for no reason (I'm young and able-bodied) and it would have made for an awkward 6-hour flight. I felt like the way the situation occurred it sort of gave me no choice.
I'll add this: if you're the one who wants someone to trade, you'll have better luck if you figure out how to make it work, instead of putting the burden on them. I was on a flight once where my wife and daughter were able to sit together, but my son and I were split up. We were in the same row; he was in Seat A, a couple were in B and C, a man traveling alone was in D, I was in E, and another solo traveler was in F. I politely asked if B and C would switch with D and me (E), explaining that I wanted to sit with my young son (who was 9 at the time). Everyone was nice about it and made the switch, but I think what helped was that everyone still had comparable seats. The couple in B and C (middle and aisle) moved over to D and E (still an aisle and a middle); I moved from middle E to middle B (next to my son in A), and the solo traveler who had aisle D got aisle C. I addressed them as "sir" and "ma'am" and was sure to say "please" and "thank you" a lot.
Stuff happens and there are all kinds of reasons why a parent and young child can't be seated together. Having said that, the parent should only try to trade a seat if the person they're asking a favor of would get the better seat.
I also see a big difference between swapping so a parent can be close to an infant/toddler and, say, an eight year old who is perfectly capable of sitting quietly on their own when they have a tablet and earphones to entertain themself.
These days, I usually can get around the whole question by picking an exit row seat (ie. no one under, I think 15 allowed) at time of booking.
My wife and I have 3 kids, so we're well versed in airplane travel with kids.
I always book air travel, and select our seats so we can all sit together. That's one reason we don't go on southwest.
However, I've been noticing a sneaky tactic by the airlines recently. Traveling for a whole family gets expensive, so families always choose the cheapest fares, which is coach or economy class. Well some airlines, like Delta and United, will not allow you to select seats if you only opt for the base fare. So your whole family will be scattered around the plane. So in order to select seats that are together, you have to upgrade to the higher fare (economy plus or premium class) for the whole family at $99 per seat each way. So for my family of 5, that means an extra $1000! Not cool.
My wife and I have 3 kids, so we're well versed in airplane travel with kids.
I always book air travel, and select our seats so we can all sit together. That's one reason we don't go on southwest.
However, I've been noticing a sneaky tactic by the airlines recently. Traveling for a whole family gets expensive, so families always choose the cheapest fares, which is coach or economy class. Well some airlines, like Delta and United, will not allow you to select seats if you only opt for the base fare. So your whole family will be scattered around the plane. So in order to select seats that are together, you have to upgrade to the higher fare (economy plus or premium class) for the whole family at $99 per seat each way. So for my family of 5, that means an extra $1000! Not cool.
All the more reason to consider Southwest. If you buy their "Early Bird" check-in option, for something like $25 per seat, you are highly likely to be put into the "A" boarding group. And I have never yet boarded in the "A" group without being able to find entire rows of seats wide open and waiting for me. Thus, the round-trip cost for a family of 5 will run you $250, which isn't cheap, but it sure beats $1,000. And you are about 99 percent likely to be able to all sit together.
Oh, and don't forget that Southwest lets you take 2 checked bags per person for free. So you can save yourself the baggage fees that Delta and United will impose on you.
To be honest, I think that Southwest is the best choice for domestic air travel for families.
I see this as the airline's poorly handled problem.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-05-2019 at 03:18 PM..
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