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Old 05-04-2021, 09:47 AM
 
Location: In the land beyond Ohare!
1,815 posts, read 1,215,882 times
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Somewhat related, as I've aged I don't have any fear or anxiety when driving. But I know I'm getting older and the reflexes aren't the same and will inevitably decline. So, I decided that in the interest of safety, mine and others, to buy a vehicle with the latest safety features. The little nudges these systems provide keep me on my toes and hopefully will help prevent a accident. DW doesn't drive while on long trips but as a passenger she is glad to have the safety features in place too.
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Old 05-04-2021, 10:03 AM
 
Location: In the gawdforsaken desert
6,654 posts, read 8,054,019 times
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I confess, I am TERRIFIED of driving on the highway! I feel like I'm taking my life in my hands any time I go over 45. But they say this is "normal."

I drive an old Jeep!
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Old 05-04-2021, 10:28 AM
 
16,739 posts, read 7,063,925 times
Reputation: 20595
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOBNCHI View Post
Somewhat related, as I've aged I don't have any fear or anxiety when driving. But I know I'm getting older and the reflexes aren't the same and will inevitably decline. So, I decided that in the interest of safety, mine and others, to buy a vehicle with the latest safety features. The little nudges these systems provide keep me on my toes and hopefully will help prevent a accident. DW doesn't drive while on long trips but as a passenger she is glad to have the safety features in place too.

Speaking of those aids, we have the auto braking adaptive cruise and I've often wondered just how hard it would brake and if it would bring us to a full stop but never risked testing it. Then one day was cruising along freeway and a car that was on the shoulder suddenly pulled out. The auto brake felt like slamming on the brakes with everything loose on the car flying forward. It braked us from 70 down to about 30 before it was clear to begin accelerating back. I doubt that I could have braked us any harder myself and if I'd been doing something stupid like texting we would have slammed into that car without it. (Note: having this aid doesn't mean you can text while driving.)


One thing I don't like is the warning beeps are all the same tone, whether collision avoidance or maintenance reminder. It might take a few weeks before we get around to a tire rotation but I worry that hearing these beeps every time we start off will desensitize us to a warning about an obstruction behind the car.
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Old 05-04-2021, 11:33 AM
 
1,588 posts, read 568,919 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
Probably give us more information by what you mean by:

"more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out"

For me "luck" is more of an expression of statistic of risk/reward. If you engage in risky behavior, your chances of "bad luck" is going to be higher. If you live very carefully/avoidance of risk, your chances of "luck" is going to be higher.

So if you have letsay a 20% chance of "bad luck" in a particular behavior, realize that you can still hit "bad luck" on the 1st instance of the behavior... or never experience "bad luck". It isn't cumulative..... Its not like engaging in a particular behavior and experiencing "good luck" increases your chances of "bad luck" or vise versa.

This is just my take... I see this type of decision making in my friends that gamble... so I consider it as "gambler's mentality". They refer to experiences as a string of "bad" or "good" luck... and make decisions based on that. Which statistically really isn't significant.


So if you are apprehensive, maybe do small things in travel that makes you feel that it is less risky (more luck). Maybe stick to areas that are familiar? Drive slower, more carefully, take more frequent stops.... Drive a more reliable vehicle. etc.. Change things about your travels that feels reduces risk.
By luck I mean that over which you have little control, even if you are a driver with good skills and situational awareness driving a well-maintained, relatively new car.

My husband is a very safe driver in general. He used to have some issues with drowsiness — he fell asleep at the wheel once at a red light. The light turned green and nothing happened. I looked over and realized he was actually asleep. Snoozing. After that we had a good long talk about it. In the meantime, he has started to drink coffee when he feels tired (I know, I know ... obviously solution, but he used to think caffeine was for the weak). I have also insisted that he not try to macho it out. If he feels tired, he must tell me, stop and either rest, get coffee or let me drive. In the 10 years since the falling asleep at the light incident, we have only had one problem with drowsiness. In that case, the car started drifting, then he swerved back into a good lane position. I asked if he was OK. He admitted he was too tired and pulled over to let me drive.

The only other issue is that he has a sunny, confident, & very optimistic disposition — which is great in life, but not always so good when you drive. In particular, I found that, he took too many risks making turns when sight-lines are blocked or partially blocked. I have told him, for example, when making a left where there is a lot of traffic, and a partially blocked view (on-coming traffic also attempting to turn left) you need to pay attention to the oncoming traffic further down the road, be aware when it disappears behind the line of cars turning left. You can’t just say to yourself: “Well, I can’t see anything, but it’s probably fine, so I’ll turn anyway.” I told him: “You have to be sure it is fine, not be optimistic and think, it’s probably OK. Wait until you are100% sure it is fine and there is no hidden on-coming traffic. Also, once we pulled off then tried to get back on a twisty, turny country road in a spot where there was poor visibility. His first impulse was just to go (because we can’t see anything anyway ... and “it’s probably OK”). I told him that in this situation, you can roll down your window and listen for on-coming traffic instead of just guessing.

Apart from this he is a very safe driver. No speeding, no weaving, good situational awareness, no substance abuse.

But no matter how good a driver you are, you just never know. We have never been in a bad accident, but honestly, I know it has been just good luck. Twice we spun out on an Interstate. We hit a slick patch and just started spinning, totally out of control. Both times it was weather related .... in fact both times were on the same day — it had been raining and warm when we left, then the temperature dropped precipitously and without our being aware, it had became freezing rain. After we spun out a second time, I made my husband get off the road until we were sure conditions were better. But this was back in the early 1990s when it was more difficult to get up-to-the-minute travel warnings. In my view, it was just good luck we didn’t hit another vehicle each time.

There were a couple of other weather-related incidents — we got very close to a tornado on the open road in the Texas panhandle once and that was terrifying, but not much we could do. Just good luck that we were not hit. But again that was in the 1990s and it is much easier to check the weather when you travel now.

However, there were two other times that we were just one car away from a major accident and the only reason we weren’t hit was pure luck. In both cases, it involved a car speeding in from a cross street, running a red light and plowing into another vehicle in the middle of the intersection. In each case, it was the car right in front of ours that was hit. It could have easier you been us. In each case, the other car seemed to come out of the blue and then BOOM ... all in a split second. In one case, the impacted car was plowed across the whole road, over the guard rail, then bounced and rolled all the way down a long, steep embankment. So scary.
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Old 05-04-2021, 01:54 PM
 
11,711 posts, read 15,456,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
Does anyone else have this? Interestingly, I do not have fear of flying.

My husband and I take a lot of road trips and I am slowly getting more and more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out. He is in his early sixties and I am in my late fifties and believe it or not, up until now we have never had anything approaching a serious accident.

Just to be clear, I wouldn’t say I have an actual phobia. I just get somewhat anxious and have started worrying more, asking myself if it is really worth the risk to drive up to 10 hours in one weekend just to get to some really cool destination for a day and a half. One reason we do this is that my husband positively enjoys driving and does 95% of it. I think that he will enjoy driving a little less after we have our first major accident.

Anyone else share similar concerns?
Flying is much safer than being in a car so your fear is justified.

I’m a scary driver lol so I’m afraid when I’m driving. Otherwise it’s not too bad.
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Old 05-04-2021, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Avignon, France
9,952 posts, read 5,657,429 times
Reputation: 25241
I would rather fly than drive too….Not because I am afraid to drive.. I just like flying better….
Especially if I am the pilot.
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Old 05-04-2021, 03:16 PM
Status: "Wanderlust!!" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston-Dallas/Tricity
46,270 posts, read 66,202,324 times
Reputation: 106743
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
Does anyone else have this? Interestingly, I do not have fear of flying.

My husband and I take a lot of road trips and I am slowly getting more and more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out. He is in his early sixties and I am in my late fifties and believe it or not, up until now we have never had anything approaching a serious accident.

Just to be clear, I wouldn’t say I have an actual phobia. I just get somewhat anxious and have started worrying more, asking myself if it is really worth the risk to drive up to 10 hours in one weekend just to get to some really cool destination for a day and a half. One reason we do this is that my husband positively enjoys driving and does 95% of it. I think that he will enjoy driving a little less after we have our first major accident.

Anyone else share similar concerns?
Is this feeling new or came with the age? Who is driving - you or your husband? Are there any new concerns about memory lapses, slower reaction, drowsiness, distraction, visual impairments etc.?
If this is new, what do you think triggered it?
Do you feel less anxious when you drive the car?
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Old 05-04-2021, 06:08 PM
Status: "Be kind to each other" (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: New York
75 posts, read 24,133 times
Reputation: 233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
I would rather fly than drive too….Not because I am afraid to drive.. I just like flying better….
Especially if I am the pilot.
I stopped flying on commercial air passenger planes over decades ago..but gladly went up in two small privately owned planes that friends owned and flew .....felt very much at ease with them.. I would say like your friends enjoy going up with you.

And while talking about flying I remember ( I'm late 60's ) when airports had those life insurance vending machines which I have used and got me wondering what happened to them...

Found my answer...

" The trend became so prominent that one 1963 lawsuit alleged, “In recent years air trip travel insurance has developed into a business of tremendous volume. For example, a recent annual report filed by a group of underwriters who handle a large portion of air trip insurance business in the United States, showed total premium collections for the year to be $3,382,561. In the same year the group wrote air trip insurance for $84,564,025,000 and paid out $1,388,839 in losses.”

As with any business operation, however, crooked opportunists began to find ways to undermine the system. In this case, the duplicity involved violence. Instances arose where Americans began to purposely release dynamite on planes in order to facilitate an insurance claim.

In one, a Denver businesswoman’s son hid explosives in a Christmas present, which detonated on her flight and resulted in the death of 39 passengers and five airline employees. He admitted to the FBI that he committed this crime for an insurance payout, and was thereafter executed in a gas chamber.

Over the next decade, “three more commercial flights would be blown up, and insurance fraud was the detonator for each,” according to Paul Talbot.

Although insurance vendors are no longer common in North American airports, domestic terrorism is not to blame. In fact, the business model simply depreciated because air travel came to be perceived as so safe and routine, it eliminated any demand for pre-travel life insurance."

https://www.insurancebusinessmag.com...nes-22593.aspx

Happy flying Sydney123 !
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Old 05-04-2021, 06:16 PM
Status: "Be kind to each other" (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: New York
75 posts, read 24,133 times
Reputation: 233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
Does anyone else have this? Interestingly, I do not have fear of flying.

My husband and I take a lot of road trips and I am slowly getting more and more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out. He is in his early sixties and I am in my late fifties and believe it or not, up until now we have never had anything approaching a serious accident.

Just to be clear, I wouldn’t say I have an actual phobia. I just get somewhat anxious and have started worrying more, asking myself if it is really worth the risk to drive up to 10 hours in one weekend just to get to some really cool destination for a day and a half. One reason we do this is that my husband positively enjoys driving and does 95% of it. I think that he will enjoy driving a little less after we have our first major accident.

Anyone else share similar concerns?
I love driving and I feel for you shorter trips would help to prevent you from worrying like you do now...10 hours in a weekend could now be a bit much...heck, I drive for fun at least 3 times a week but rarely go more than 2-3 hours round trip...and mostly go on roads less traveled on ...no expressway or the like where speed is crazy due to many always seem to be in a big rush to get where they're going.
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Old 05-04-2021, 06:53 PM
 
1,588 posts, read 568,919 times
Reputation: 2742
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
Is this feeling new or came with the age? Who is driving - you or your husband? Are there any new concerns about memory lapses, slower reaction, drowsiness, distraction, visual impairments etc.?
If this is new, what do you think triggered it?
Do you feel less anxious when you drive the car?
It’s just existentially fear. I need to deal with it.
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