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Old 05-04-2021, 08:05 AM
 
1,568 posts, read 561,784 times
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Does anyone else have this? Interestingly, I do not have fear of flying.

My husband and I take a lot of road trips and I am slowly getting more and more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out. He is in his early sixties and I am in my late fifties and believe it or not, up until now we have never had anything approaching a serious accident.

Just to be clear, I wouldn’t say I have an actual phobia. I just get somewhat anxious and have started worrying more, asking myself if it is really worth the risk to drive up to 10 hours in one weekend just to get to some really cool destination for a day and a half. One reason we do this is that my husband positively enjoys driving and does 95% of it. I think that he will enjoy driving a little less after we have our first major accident.

Anyone else share similar concerns?
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Old 05-04-2021, 08:14 AM
 
Location: NNJ
12,901 posts, read 7,204,344 times
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Probably give us more information by what you mean by:

"more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out"

For me "luck" is more of an expression of statistic of risk/reward. If you engage in risky behavior, your chances of "bad luck" is going to be higher. If you live very carefully/avoidance of risk, your chances of "luck" is going to be higher.

So if you have letsay a 20% chance of "bad luck" in a particular behavior, realize that you can still hit "bad luck" on the 1st instance of the behavior... or never experience "bad luck". It isn't cumulative..... Its not like engaging in a particular behavior and experiencing "good luck" increases your chances of "bad luck" or vise versa.

This is just my take... I see this type of decision making in my friends that gamble... so I consider it as "gambler's mentality". They refer to experiences as a string of "bad" or "good" luck... and make decisions based on that. Which statistically really isn't significant.


So if you are apprehensive, maybe do small things in travel that makes you feel that it is less risky (more luck). Maybe stick to areas that are familiar? Drive slower, more carefully, take more frequent stops.... Drive a more reliable vehicle. etc.. Change things about your travels that feels reduces risk.
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Old 05-04-2021, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
17,140 posts, read 22,460,140 times
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More apprehensive? Yes, absolutely. But for different, more tangible reasons related to aging.

For the vast majority,, As we age, our vision gets worse, especially night vision. Our reflexes aren't as good as they were. Our energy levels decrease.

We have tried to reduce these risks by avoiding driving at night and heavy rainfall and not driving more than 6 or so hours. We have purchased new cars with every safety option, like blind side detection (absolutely a life saver), automatic front collision braking, radar sensitive cruise control, etc.

The cars have Bluetooth so we can use Google maps voice directions and hear them clearly over the car speakers. I've never been a driver who tailgates or speeds, but DH accepts warnings from me with less annoyance.
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Old 05-04-2021, 08:22 AM
 
10,676 posts, read 6,664,972 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
Just to be clear, I wouldn’t say I have an actual phobia. I just get somewhat anxious and have started worrying more, asking myself if it is really worth the risk to drive up to 10 hours in one weekend just to get to some really cool destination for a day and a half. One reason we do this is that my husband positively enjoys driving and does 95% of it. I think that he will enjoy driving a little less after we have our first major accident.
It appears that you think a major accident is inevitable, so no wonder you are nervous. The majority of people never have a major accident. It sounds like your husband is a good driver, so be a good passenger (keep a casual eye on the road so you don't distract him at crucial moments), relax and enjoy the ride.
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Old 05-04-2021, 08:29 AM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
21,490 posts, read 22,645,453 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
My husband and I take a lot of road trips and I am slowly getting more and more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out. He is in his early sixties and I am in my late fifties and believe it or not, up until now we have never had anything approaching a serious accident.
The probability of getting into a serious accident is highly dependent on how safely and defensively you drive.

So no, I don't really have that fear.
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Old 05-04-2021, 08:35 AM
 
16,709 posts, read 7,027,412 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
Does anyone else have this? Interestingly, I do not have fear of flying.

My husband and I take a lot of road trips and I am slowly getting more and more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out. He is in his early sixties and I am in my late fifties and believe it or not, up until now we have never had anything approaching a serious accident.

Just to be clear, I wouldn’t say I have an actual phobia. I just get somewhat anxious and have started worrying more, asking myself if it is really worth the risk to drive up to 10 hours in one weekend just to get to some really cool destination for a day and a half. One reason we do this is that my husband positively enjoys driving and does 95% of it. I think that he will enjoy driving a little less after we have our first major accident.

Anyone else share similar concerns?

My only fear about road trips is the driver falling asleep. I don't worry about myself falling asleep but I can't sleep when my wife is driving. Not that she is a bad driver or anything, just that I don't like feeling not in control. At least if I'm awake I could notice if she's nodding off but I fear falling asleep and waking up in an overturned car in the woods. There have been times I dozed off and she - perfectly awake - moved to the side to avoid a pothole or something, hit the rumble strip and I would bolt upright having a mini heart attack!
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Old 05-04-2021, 08:36 AM
 
10,657 posts, read 5,433,099 times
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My parents drove including long trips till they died at 79 and 81 respectively. My in-laws ditto to the age of 93 and 94. Neither set ever had a ”serious” accident.

In fact, most ”serious” accidents occur close to home, not out on the highway.

Depending on your husband's driving, you are probably worrying about nothing. Is he cautious? Does he maintain situational awareness? Does he tailgate, weave in and out of traffic, constantly saw at all the controls, take off like a bat out of hell till he slams as hard as he can on the brakes - or is he the kind of driver who can drive 50 miles with a glass of water on the passenger side floor and never spill a drop?
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Old 05-04-2021, 08:54 AM
 
13,913 posts, read 7,982,142 times
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I wouldn't say I have fear of car travel, but I do find it stressful and it causes my anxiety levels to increase. I'm not worried about my driving abilities. I just have a hard time trusting the other drivers on the road.
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Old 05-04-2021, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
9,940 posts, read 5,479,517 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
My only fear about road trips is the driver falling asleep. I don't worry about myself falling asleep but I can't sleep when my wife is driving. Not that she is a bad driver or anything, just that I don't like feeling not in control. At least if I'm awake I could notice if she's nodding off but I fear falling asleep and waking up in an overturned car in the woods. There have been times I dozed off and she - perfectly awake - moved to the side to avoid a pothole or something, hit the rumble strip and I would bolt upright having a mini heart attack!
Something similar happened to me. I was asleep in the passenger seat and my friend dozed off behind the wheel. The car drifted to the side of the road, and he jerked awake and wildly overcompensated. The car did a full 360 spin -- this was the point at which I woke up, with my whole world crazily spinning -- but thankfully did not flip over. It was an utterly terrifying experience, which thankfully has never happened to me since then.
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Old 05-04-2021, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
9,940 posts, read 5,479,517 times
Reputation: 23380
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
Does anyone else have this? Interestingly, I do not have fear of flying.

My husband and I take a lot of road trips and I am slowly getting more and more apprehensive about our good luck on the road finally giving out. He is in his early sixties and I am in my late fifties and believe it or not, up until now we have never had anything approaching a serious accident.

Just to be clear, I wouldn’t say I have an actual phobia. I just get somewhat anxious and have started worrying more, asking myself if it is really worth the risk to drive up to 10 hours in one weekend just to get to some really cool destination for a day and a half. One reason we do this is that my husband positively enjoys driving and does 95% of it. I think that he will enjoy driving a little less after we have our first major accident.

Anyone else share similar concerns?
I've had several accidents over the course of my driving career, thankfully none of them serious, but still. Yes, I've been shaken up, emotionally. But I still love driving.

I wonder if you'd feel more comfortable if you took shorter trips? Or broke up the longer ones? Maybe instead of driving 10 hours to get somewhere, drive 7 hours with a few more breaks along the way, then stay the night somewhere, then the next day drive the remaining 3 hours and start enjoying your destination as soon as you arrive.
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