Brown-skinned and Gay - How is it to live in Tucson? (Phoenix: buying a home, neighborhoods) - Arizona (AZ) - City-Data Forum

heavenonearth048 · 03-03-2019, 08:33 PM

I am considering a permanent move to Tucson to put down some roots, from a very liberal part of the country. However, I am a little worried about how it is to be a person of color and married gay man in the city. Would it feel safe if I held my husband's hands while walking down the street or am affectionate with him in public (nothing crazy, just normal couple affection). Will I be stopped by cops unnecessarily for how I look?

Its sad to me that I even have to ask such questions in 2019, but it is an important life decision and I'd like to be where me and my family are not only safe from actual physical harm and "tolerated", but welcome as a normal human being where all this is not considered a big deal.

Also, any particular neighborhoods you would recommend buying a home in, or to stay away from? We are both in our late 30s.

I appreciate input from all Tucsonans - and would also love to hear from LGBT folks and people of color who have to live through this themselves!

Roli · 03-03-2019, 09:20 PM

I doubt anyone in Tucson will bat an eye, but I'm not LGBT so maybe I'm not the best judge of that. You're certainly not going to stick out at all. People do seem to accept others. My advice would be look for neighborhoods in town limits because you will be closer to LGBT events and businesses. That's a practical consideration. I think the police and sheriff's deputies are mostly Hispanic here and there isn't a culture of harassment because the police chief is gay!!

heavenonearth048 · 03-04-2019, 04:49 AM

Thanks so much for your reply. This is so good to know!!!
It would be good to hear also from any LGBT parents about how it is for kids in school and family life.

bkolodzi · 03-04-2019, 12:11 PM

I am an older straight white guy who lives in Green Valley (about 25 miles south of Tucson), and I would have absolutely no issue with your sexual preference or skin color. I have a sister who is married to a woman, and I care far more about the content of one's character and nothing about the color of their skin. Happiness is hard to find, so be happy while you can with who you want!

I am not in Tucson more than I need to be (don't much care for larger cities), but my understanding is that Tucson is fairly liberal and accepting of all kinds of lifestyles. I think you and your husband would be fine. All the best to you, and I am sorry that we still live in a time where you even have to worry about such things.

heavenonearth048 · 03-04-2019, 03:50 PM

Thanks, bkolodzi, for your kind words! Its great to hear Tucson is open. But is it a total island in a sea of more unwelcoming folks in other parts of the State?

I guess I tend to imagine these scenarios where the state of AZ laws become intolerant all of a sudden due to the current political climate.

Roli · 03-04-2019, 04:23 PM

Heavenonearth, the current mayor of Flagstaff is a black woman. Bisbee hosted a Pride Week this summer and my family and I attended a drag show there just because we blundered into it and had never been to one. So fun!

I think Tucson has been LGBT friendly for decades, long before Nixon actually. Phoenix elected Kirsten Sinema and the whole state made her our senator. If anything is going on, the state is trending further and further away from bigots. I think about ten years ago a "defense of marriage" act failed to pass on a statewide petition. If this state were dangerously bigoted against LGBT, wouldn't that have passed so long ago?? Don't paint this state with a broad brush. The people here never were what outside people thought they would make of us. We elected an Hispanic governor named Raul Castro who was born in Cananea, Mexico in the 1970s!! Nobody worried about the fact that he wasn't born in America. I'm not sure it was even mentioned. Um, yeah, maybe nicer times in a way. He was a former boxer and quite a character. People just recognized a great leader in him.

bkolodzi · 03-04-2019, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heavenonearth048

Thanks, bkolodzi, for your kind words! Its great to hear Tucson is open. But is it a total island in a sea of more unwelcoming folks in other parts of the State?

I guess I tend to imagine these scenarios where the state of AZ laws become intolerant all of a sudden due to the current political climate.

There will always be intolerant knuckleheads out there, but I think in this area you will be accepted and welcomed. In my lifetime, I have seen a great deal of positive change for people of color and the LGBTQ community. I do not see that going backwards.

atlarge · 03-04-2019, 10:25 PM

You and your partner will be fine unless you're parading around town with a MAGA cap. In that case, it'd most likely be "open season" on you guys from the intolerant.

tijlover · 03-05-2019, 02:45 AM

Always bear in mind: Personality can override anything!

I moved into a 55+ community in central Tucson and I thought I was going to be the only Gay person on board here. I soon discovered I wasn't alone. My neighbor in back of me is Gay and his partner also has a mobile home one block away, who at one time was a Board member. 6 homes north, there are 4 Gay people sharing a big double wide mobile home. And recently, a Gay lesbian Jew ran for the board. Nowadays, there's no need to tell people you're gay, as people have become intuitive enough to guess it without it being announced.

Tucson is the Blue Island of the Southwest, the most liberal enclave in the Southwest. I recently moved here from Las Vegas because I couldn't stomach the conservatism up there, and I feel like I've gone home again, as I spent too much time in one of the most liberal cities in the country, Minneapolis.

WilmaWildcat · 03-05-2019, 05:24 AM

Moreover, Tucson is really just weird; it's always been weird and probably will stay weird. The way Austin TX is weird, I guess; but Austin apparently needed a bumper sticker to remind people Austin needs to keep weird. Tucson will never need a bumper sticker. So it doesn't matter if you are a mermaid or a biker, nobody will mind unless possibly they just moved to Tucson from someplace else. They will probably move away momentarily anyway. Also Tucson ranks high on the "caring" scale; usually in the Top 5 of charitable lists. So that is probably one of the reasons also that people are accepted. And animals and ghosts and spirits and every kind of imagination. The arts thrive. It's fabulous.