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Old 07-22-2009, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,389 posts, read 3,532,343 times
Reputation: 700

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I see many posts asking for safe neighborhoods to live in.

It is not safe here... anywhere!


There are the following wild dangers:
  • Snakes
  • Scorpians
  • Large spiders
  • Gila Monsters
  • Mountain lions
  • Vampire Bats
  • Rabid Skunks
  • Prairie Dogs
  • Man eating catfish (just under the Roosevelt Dam, on the Apache Lake side
  • Quicksand
  • Falling rocks and trees
  • Flash floods
  • Chupacabra
  • Skunk ape (not confirmed, but rumored)
  • Feral cats
  • Feral humans
  • Hobbits
  • Colorado River Toads (don't lick it!)
  • Horse flies
  • Black squirrels
  • Doc Holiday's Ghost
  • Peppersauce Cave
As well as these not so naturally occurring threats:
  • Bank robbers
  • Highwaymen (stage coach and train holdups!)
  • Banditos
  • 12ft tall orange mechanical, fire-breathing griffins
  • Tucson Mayor and Council
  • Arizona Daily Star
  • Smog
  • Bicyclists in Spandex
  • Teenagers in Hondas
  • John Dillinger
  • Toyota Prius drivers
  • Golfers
  • U of A students
  • High School Students
  • Soccer Moms
  • Cougars (the two legged type)
  • Sierra
  • Armed Citizens
  • Ford Pickup Trucks
  • Power lines
  • Cell towers
  • Roach coaches
  • Olive Garden
  • Hillbillies
  • Old People in Lincolns
There are a lot more, but this list should be sufficient to get you started.

Last edited by Chorizo; 07-22-2009 at 09:50 AM..
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Old 07-22-2009, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,134,698 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chorizo View Post
[*]Sierra
I just was getting upset I’m not on your mind this morning , but on a second look I wiped off my brows in relief.
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Old 07-22-2009, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,389 posts, read 3,532,343 times
Reputation: 700
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I just was getting upset I’m not on your mind this morning , but on a second look I wiped off my brows in relief.
Psshhh!

How could I forget you?

Edit: I was going to put Phoney Baloney on that list but then I considered the fact that he probably aint all that dangerous. His nemesis the horse fly made the cut though!
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Baja Arizona
2,916 posts, read 8,346,834 times
Reputation: 1141
Not to mention all manner of thunder and lightning... crashing all around us... and those horrible, howling winds from the muggy monsoons!

Yikes! Unsafe in ANY area of town!
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,389 posts, read 3,532,343 times
Reputation: 700
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZonyPony View Post
Not to mention all manner of thunder and lightning... crashing all around us... and those horrible, howling winds from the muggy monsoons!

Yikes! Unsafe in ANY area of town!
Very very frightening, indeed!
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Baja Arizona
2,916 posts, read 8,346,834 times
Reputation: 1141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chorizo View Post
Edit: I was going to put Phoney Baloney on that list but then I considered the fact that he probably aint all that dangerous. His nemesis the horse fly made the cut though!
I dunno... evil twin brothers can be a real menace... and also that awful upside-down red horsefly downtown!
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,389 posts, read 3,532,343 times
Reputation: 700
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZonyPony View Post
I dunno... evil alter egos can be a real menace... and also that awful upside-down red horsefly downtown!
Fixed that for you sir!
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,134,698 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chorizo View Post
How could I forget you?
He-he, finally SOMEBODY admitted I'm unforgettable! Famous... infamous... it doesn't matter... as long as you're unforgettable!
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,389 posts, read 3,532,343 times
Reputation: 700
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
He-he, finally SOMEBODY admitted I'm unforgettable! Famous... infamous... it doesn't matter... as long as you're unforgettable!
Now now, don't let it get to your head.
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Old 07-22-2009, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,389 posts, read 3,532,343 times
Reputation: 700
Sierra is sending me naughty reputation comments! *covers eyes*
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