Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Oklahoma > Tulsa
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-26-2013, 04:56 PM
 
Location: OKIE-Ville
5,542 posts, read 9,440,744 times
Reputation: 3296

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by e_cuyler View Post
I think even in church a lot of people in Tulsa tend to have well-established groups of friends from college, people they grew up with, etc. I wouldn't say people are unfriendly to newcomers or anything like that, but it can be tough to form genuine friendships with people. I know I tried church for at least a couple of years and it didn't really help that much as far as getting to know people. It seemed like a lot of people hadn't really moved on from college or even high school, they still hung out with the same people from then and would still talk about their school days from years ago. I'm actually a little surprised that someone who attended the major universities in the state would have trouble making friends, it seemed like most of the people I met were still talking about their years at OU or OSU.
Absolutely. All the OU & State grads I know have very strong/continuing relationships with fellow grads.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-28-2014, 04:10 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,790 times
Reputation: 10
Default Hi

I am new in tulsa too
but I cant find any society
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2014, 11:00 PM
 
Location: OKIE-Ville
5,542 posts, read 9,440,744 times
Reputation: 3296
Quote:
Originally Posted by miti View Post
I am new in tulsa too
but I cant find any society
What are your interests? Let's start there . . .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2014, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Pawnee Nation
7,525 posts, read 16,913,807 times
Reputation: 7110
Do something. You will find others doing something too
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2014, 10:52 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,999 times
Reputation: 17
My parents moved me to OKC from KC, MO as a teenager. In Kansas City I had A LOT of friends and a lot of close friends. I had a very hard time making friends in OKC as a teenager. Its very cliquey in Oklahoma.

I went to college in Oklahoma, but I lived in the dorms and I had A LOT of friends, but nearly all of them were from foreign countries or from out-of-state.

In general, I find that Oklahomans don't like me. They are nice and friendly to my face, but they don't want to be my friend. Why?! My theory is that it's because I refuse to conform to the culture. (I always get asked where I'm from even though I lived in OKC for a long time).

After college I decided to give staying in Oklahoma a try. To make friends, I went to a mega church with a singles ministry. I went to all the social events they had. I am a friendly outgoing person, and I had a good time. I met a lot of people there, but I was unable to make any true friendships, because frankly they honestly didn't like me. They were nice and friendly to my face at the church events, but i NEVER got invited to anything social the woman did outside of the church events. I saw Facebook posts of numerous stuff they would do together. The guys asked me to hang out however a few times.

In Oklahoma everyone goes to church, almost everyone, so even if you're not seriously religious it's a way to meet people.

As a single woman, a fun way to make friends may be through online dating. I did that and surprisingly I found a few men I was interested in. They were all from out-of-state/here for work. I married one of them, and he dislikes Oklahoma too. We are moving away from Oklahoma very soon.

It's difficult to make friends in OKC unless you are a native Oklahoman or if you are Oklahoman at heart/the culture is you. If the culture is not you, I advise moving to another state.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-18-2014, 06:17 AM
 
Location: The State Of California
10,400 posts, read 15,491,845 times
Reputation: 4283
Default You Jumped Through All The Hoops

Quote:

Quote:
Originally Posted by jewels84 View Post
My parents moved me to OKC from KC, MO as a
teenager. In Kansas City I had A LOT of friends and a lot of close friends. I
had a very hard time making friends in OKC as a teenager. Its very cliquey in
Oklahoma.





I went to college in Oklahoma, but I lived in the dorms and I had A LOT of
friends, but nearly all of them were from foreign countries or from
out-of-state.





In general, I find that Oklahomans don't like me. They are nice and friendly
to my face, but they don't want to be my friend. Why?! My theory is that it's
because I refuse to conform to the culture. (I always get asked where I'm from
even though I lived in OKC for a long time).





After college I decided to give staying in Oklahoma a try. To make friends, I
went to a mega church with a singles ministry. I went to all the social events
they had. I am a friendly outgoing person, and I had a good time. I met a lot of
people there, but I was unable to make any true friendships, because frankly
they honestly didn't like me. They were nice and friendly to my face at the
church events, but i NEVER got invited to anything social the woman did outside
of the church events. I saw Facebook posts of numerous stuff they would do
together. The guys asked me to hang out however a few times.





In Oklahoma everyone goes to church, almost everyone, so even if you're not
seriously religious it's a way to meet people.





As a single woman, a fun way to make friends may be through online dating. I
did that and surprisingly I found a few men I was interested in. They were all
from out-of-state/here for work. I married one of them, and he dislikes Oklahoma
too. We are moving away from Oklahoma very soon.





It's difficult to make friends in OKC unless you are a native Oklahoman or if
you are Oklahoman at heart/the culture is you. If the culture is not you, I
advise moving to another state.

You Jumped Through All The Hoops and without any other family beside your husband in Oklahoma
there's no other reason to be here. If anyone from out of state is trying to make friends here in Oklahoma College/University is the best option and or " small Churches " ( Not MegaChurches )
you would be over looked there. Another option would be the larger more popular city Parks or
Lakes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-19-2014, 11:05 AM
 
Location: The Middle
125 posts, read 211,290 times
Reputation: 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by jewels84 View Post
My parents moved me to OKC from KC, MO as a teenager. In Kansas City I had A LOT of friends and a lot of close friends. I had a very hard time making friends in OKC as a teenager. Its very cliquey in Oklahoma.
Jewels84,

I came from the same place. Generally, we feel like it took a long time to make friends in the KC area, as people are generally less "friendly" to strangers. But, you can make extremely deep and emotional friendships. We often find that ppl here are more "open" in public (either a southern or religious influence) but stick to those they grew up with when it comes to doing anything outside of work or church. We are asked often to babysit, or to attend church events, but there is very little socializing that we are asked to be a part of. The few times we've tried to create events, turnout is pretty low. Some of this is also possibly due to a culture where young parents just don't go out of the house much, where in larger cities they do. We don't really want to be pushy, as we're fairly shy, so we've waited for things to happen organically.
We were asked to join an evangelical Bible study by a neighbor, but kind of got weirded out when she said she thought we would "fit in". I'm sure she meant well, but why do you have to "fit in" in a church? It just seemed odd.

So, like you, we're sort of in limbo. We're considering moving, but our kids are doing really well in school (by that I mean grades, socially they have the same struggles we do) and we are also worried about disrupting that. Like you, we've made a few friends mostly with people that are from other states. Since our best friends here from the Chicago area have taken a new career opportunity and moved on, we find ourselves alone on a block where people are "nice", but look at us a bit strangely. It may just always be this way culturally, and I can't fault the schools, home prices, job opportunities, and a lot of other great things, it just may not be home. I would love to know what you have decided to do, and how that decision was made and how it works out.

Best of luck to you!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2014, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Texas
181 posts, read 304,333 times
Reputation: 110
Can someone please explain how this is the case for a Southern city? I lived in Raleigh (NC) and Austin (TX) and this matter was never an issue. Strangers spoke to each other, had great conversations, and in most cases end up being friends. How did the southern hospitality get removed or dramatically reduced in Tulsa?

I have done a lot of research about Tulsa and it sounds like a great city. However, this is one factor that worries me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2014, 06:47 PM
 
1,359 posts, read 4,838,481 times
Reputation: 776
It's not a Southern city, in my opinion. You have a few people from smaller towns in OK that bring some of that influence, but I don't see it being predominant. When I lived there people seemed really reserved---polite, but not really interested in friendship with new people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2014, 07:13 PM
 
Location: USA
7,776 posts, read 12,380,855 times
Reputation: 11812
When I moved to OKC from Wichita KS, one of the first things that happened is the card given to me by the Welcome Wagon Lady to join the Northwest Newcomers club, which I did and immediately had invitations to play bridge and meet for lunch. So many instructors for the Air Traffic Controller School were moving to OKC from the east coast and we all became good friends. The newcomer group is still active I think and there is one on the SW side of the city, too... at least there used to be.

12 of us formed a luncheon group and each month a hostess had the luncheon at her home and she planned the menu. She provided the meat dish and the drinks. The rest of us brought the salads and dessert or other dishes. When I was hostess we had fondue and strawberry daiquiris and discovered fondue and alcohol isn't always a good combination; however, we didn't care.

Anyone who plays bridge has entry to multiple games. All they need do is watch the newspaper for notices.

I might add that everyone does NOT go to church. Everyone does not do a lot of things. Some people do. Some people don't. It's rarely EVERYONE.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Settings
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2020 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Oklahoma > Tulsa

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top