Jewelry and supertstition-- would you wear someone else's engagement ring? (secret)

[confusedasusual]

My mother recently passed and left behind a very large collection of jewelry. Much of this is not my taste, and my sisters and I have divided up, given away or are selling most of it.

One item which I really liked was her engagement ring. Its an antique platinum cluster ring which I remember admiring from childhood. This found its way to me, with most of the small diamonds taken out to be put in another ring, and the three largest one remaining in the center. I was going to re-set it with different stones, but I am hesitant to even spend the money on it.

My parents were both pretty awful people (there is a long thread on this) with my father indulging in criminal behavior and my mother enabling him. They had a very acrimonious divorce after which my mother took up (secretly) with a married man and tried to wrest him from his family for decades. I really have no desire to commemorate the union of both of these people.

But I really do like the ring and always have. I don't know how I feel about wearing it. I do think that jewerly, being close to the wearer, can retain or project some of that wearer's energy. At the very least, it would remind me of the wearer, but it is a ring with a long history which I am sure was owned before my parents. Maybe I am being silly. What would you do in this situation?

[lmw36]

My stepmother passed away in September (young and somewhat suddenly with terminal illness) and left me her engagement ring. I wear it daily on my right hand. I plan on wearing it for the rest of my life. If people ask, I tell them. I think it's a sweet way to remember her, and she obviously left it to me for a reason. I don't feel the need to "repurpose" it, as it's a reminder of the love her and my father shared, which obviously made me a better person for it.

If it makes you uncomfortable, then that's your choice. People have asked me if I will stop wearing it when I get engaged, but since I don't wear it on my engagement finger (for very obvious reasons), I don't see a reason not to. It was never meant to be that sort of ring for my use.

But I obviously hold this ring near and dear to my heart. If you didn't have a good relationship, it's really up to you. I totally get how you feel it would give some sort of bad vibe. I don't think it's odd at all no matter your choice.

[Tallysmom]

I did -- my husband's engagement ring was a family heirloom. But it didn't have any bad stories about it.

I'm sure there's a way to have it cleansed of it's negativity... any one know of any? I know when I had a pair of beautiful earrings given to me that had some negative "strings" attached, I made up my own little ritual of earth energies. I passed them through the air, through a fire(candle flame), through the earth (scoop of dirt in a cup) and into water (running faucet) and said out loud these are now mine. When ever I wore them, if the person reminded me that she gave them to me I'd just say, yes, and now they are mine.

I don't think what I did was magic, I think I just cemented it firmly in my head that the earrings were mine and SHE had no power over me because of a gift.

[brokensky]

I agree--just do a cleansing ritual or have someone else do a ritual for you.

If you are attracted to it, then make it yours and imprint your own energy on it.

[fuzzymystic]

Have you tried just wearing it around, even w/the stones missing, and seeing how it 'feels?' Would it be a constant reminder or could you let it go? Maybe you could find a similar ring at an antique shop or online, like ebay? Then you could sell the one with the bad memories and buy one that is similar. Maybe you could even do a trade.

[Nancy in Nokomis]

Maybe you could sell the ring and try to have one made just like it? I understand how you feel - I would be worried about negative energy also - and even if there is no such thing - in your head you will be thinking it and sometimes thinking it causes it

[beera]

I agree to do a cleansing ritual, maybe dunking it in salt water as well to cleanse that negative energy?

If you can't disassociate the negative feelings then I agree to get rid of it.

[Blinx]

Since you've always liked the ring, there must be something positive within it, retained from whoever had it before your mother. Maybe they are passing on their positive energy to you -- it was strong enough to overcome any negativity in your mother's possession.

Set it with pretty (colored) stones so that it will be a ring that has been "reborn", and give it many happy memories to pass on to the owner after you.

[brokencrayola]

If it were myself I wouldn't wear the ring. I might take the stones out and have a new ring made from them, but I would not wear anyone's engagement ring, certainly not someone I had bad memories of.

[Ceege]

I don't believe in anything supernatural, but if looking at this ring brings you memories of bad things, then get rid of the ring and get a new one that you can add your own good memories to.