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Old 11-21-2012, 02:31 PM
 
1,087 posts, read 1,715,285 times
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I found my mom's body on Sunday(she was dead in the bath-tub) she killed herself. She left us a 5 page letter on her computer. I'm in a lot of pain and trying to piece together what happened. Prior to killing herself, these last few years she has not been herself. It started right before she divorced my dad, she started getting into the law of attraction, meditation, reiki beads(SP?) and yoga, etc. She also used a pendelum and believed she was getting answers from God. She could read auras as well, and predict things(and they came true). This went on for about 6 months and then things went downhill. She moved down south, because she claimed "God" told her to, that the city she was planning to move was built for "her". She had no family, no relatives, no friends, etc. I moved down a year later, when I found out I was pregnant. Anyway during her first year here things went wrong. Her luck changed. She started tormented by what she described as a "discarnate" entity named Eve. Eve told her all kind of things would happen, and that she was in training to teach the world. Eve taught her things-things that she taught me and my brothers and sisters, things that actually made sense but I never heard of before. She was a brilliant woman(my mom). Anyway these last two years, all the things that Eve told my mom would happen, did not happen. And my mom became very troubled, cried everyday, tried to take her life several times, etc. She could not get "EVE" out of her body. She believes that Eve took over a Chakra(I guess best way to describe). Anyway toward the end of her life, my mom spent everyday crying, in tons of physical and emotional pain. She finally took of her life. I've been reading on entities, and I'm just unsure of what to believe. She was reading a series called the "Seth Books" by Jane roberts about a woman who channeled a discarnate entity named "Seth". The books were very weird and I cannot read them without feeling sick to the stomach. But my mom read these books several times over and over again. Is there such things as entities? Was she just mentally troubled?
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:42 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
11,848 posts, read 15,169,291 times
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So sorry to hear of your loss. I know the pain of losing a parent all too well. it sounds like, Given no other evidence that she was probably suffering from major depression. left untreated it can certainly cause one to end their life. When a person sees nothing other then despair in the future it is incredibly painful.

I wish you peace and healing for you and your family.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:45 PM
 
13,603 posts, read 11,641,996 times
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I don't have the answers to your questions, but I know that you need some grief counseling. Just someone to talk to. It really hurts to lose your Mom, and suicide just makes it all the more troubling. I'm sorry this happened to you, Sunkisses.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Hudson County, NJ
1,490 posts, read 2,891,640 times
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I'm sorry to hear about this. It sounds like perhaps she was depressed and it got worse and worse, and she kept searching for answers, but not finding what she was looking for. Was she on any prescription medication? Any money issues? Best wishes.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:07 PM
 
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I'll second the grief counseling. I should have done it when my mother died.

I don't know enough about the metaphysical stuff to give you any insight, but I can say I tried to read the Seth books and I really felt great negativity from the one I started. Every fiber in my being was telling me to stop... so I did. And I tossed it out.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:38 PM
 
Location: somewhere in Texas
535 posts, read 1,123,076 times
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First off, my condolences on your mom Sunkisses87. I have also had someone very close to me committ suicide several years ago so I can empathize. He had always had depression issues and had been diagnosed bi-polar. Unfortunately none of us knew what the outcome of someone that was not consistently treated for this sort of illness can result in...until it's too late.

As far as the metaphysical stuff, like the above poster I believe she was probably just searching for something to make her feel better in her own way. I have personally read all the Seth books and don't find them to be at all disturbing or misleading...if you understand what he is talking about it all makes perfect sense.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:49 PM
 
1,087 posts, read 1,715,285 times
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The seth books made sense to my mom as well. But they freaked me out... Jane Roberts did not have a good life(from what I've read about her) neither did my mom. Doesn't seem like channeling these entities does any good?

I guess I'm trying to understand who this "EVE" was. She talked about Eve a lot... She would say "EVE" told me this, or "EVE" told me that. Even in her suicide letter, she explained that Eve had tormented her and she couldn't get away from Eve. I guess we all are trying to understand who this Eve is... She believed in this "Eve" so much. I don't know what to think.
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Old 11-21-2012, 08:04 PM
 
1,882 posts, read 3,090,378 times
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i am really sorry for your loss. what a thing to deal with. i hope you get some counseling to deal with this- this is very heavy.

i had a friend who went nuts (and is still there) after a long involvement with the occult. i think you have one of those chicken-egg situations- which came first? i have always been interested in the paranormal and have known quite a few people over the years who went off their rockers, and it seems in my opinion that if things in one's own head are getting increasingly abstract, you tend to be interested in more abstract ephemeral subjects, like the occult. i do NOT believe that an interest in these things can drive you insane, just as an interest in guns doesn't mean you are wanting to kill.

i think people who are prone to mental illness will naturally be interested in speculative subjects more than say, science, that has alot of immutable laws. the occult is filled with things you can't prove, with subjects you can overthink about and speculate about. it gives alot of people the wrong ideas, but if so, i believe they were prone to that as well. someone can also get interested in a scientific subject- say, biology- and then start believing the plants are talking to them. did the plants cause his insanity? of course not. maybe war and torture can drive you insane, but i don't think studying a subject is gonna do that.

someone mentioned major depression- i DON't think (in my totally armchair and unqualified opinion!) that this fits. in fact it sounds like schizophrenia. one does not normally believe one is being inhabited by a demon in a depressive episode. possibly she was bi-polar, but that is such an overdiagnosed disease that i tend to think its a catchall term for a lot of stuff people can't figure out. but i think that she definitely had obvious schizophrenic tendencies. its a shame she didn't seek out some help. the horrible thing with schizophrenics is that their condition often makes it even more difficult to seek help because of paranoia and they rarely seek help on their own. usually a family member has to call the cops or a doctor in against the patient's will.

i hope that you are surrounded by supportive people and that you realize this was not your fault.
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Old 11-21-2012, 10:57 PM
 
142 posts, read 185,417 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunkisses87 View Post
The seth books made sense to my mom as well. But they freaked me out... Jane Roberts did not have a good life(from what I've read about her) neither did my mom. Doesn't seem like channeling these entities does any good?

I guess I'm trying to understand who this "EVE" was. She talked about Eve a lot... She would say "EVE" told me this, or "EVE" told me that. Even in her suicide letter, she explained that Eve had tormented her and she couldn't get away from Eve. I guess we all are trying to understand who this Eve is... She believed in this "Eve" so much. I don't know what to think.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I was into the occult when I was younger, looking for answers, and my life only got worse, much worse.
There is more to life than the material world, there is a spiritual aspect to it also. Eve was an evil entity pretending to be good.
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Old 11-22-2012, 05:30 AM
 
16,141 posts, read 22,493,975 times
Reputation: 26703
Quote:
Originally Posted by nighthouse66 View Post
i am really sorry for your loss. what a thing to deal with. i hope you get some counseling to deal with this- this is very heavy.

i had a friend who went nuts (and is still there) after a long involvement with the occult. i think you have one of those chicken-egg situations- which came first? i have always been interested in the paranormal and have known quite a few people over the years who went off their rockers, and it seems in my opinion that if things in one's own head are getting increasingly abstract, you tend to be interested in more abstract ephemeral subjects, like the occult. i do NOT believe that an interest in these things can drive you insane, just as an interest in guns doesn't mean you are wanting to kill.

i think people who are prone to mental illness will naturally be interested in speculative subjects more than say, science, that has alot of immutable laws. the occult is filled with things you can't prove, with subjects you can overthink about and speculate about. it gives alot of people the wrong ideas, but if so, i believe they were prone to that as well. someone can also get interested in a scientific subject- say, biology- and then start believing the plants are talking to them. did the plants cause his insanity? of course not. maybe war and torture can drive you insane, but i don't think studying a subject is gonna do that.

someone mentioned major depression- i DON't think (in my totally armchair and unqualified opinion!) that this fits. in fact it sounds like schizophrenia. one does not normally believe one is being inhabited by a demon in a depressive episode. possibly she was bi-polar, but that is such an overdiagnosed disease that i tend to think its a catchall term for a lot of stuff people can't figure out. but i think that she definitely had obvious schizophrenic tendencies. its a shame she didn't seek out some help. the horrible thing with schizophrenics is that their condition often makes it even more difficult to seek help because of paranoia and they rarely seek help on their own. usually a family member has to call the cops or a doctor in against the patient's will.

i hope that you are surrounded by supportive people and that you realize this was not your fault.
This sounds like a likely possibility. I would suggest grief counseling for you and your siblings. I would also suggest that you walk away form the other, the answers may never come for you about the "why" but it does sound like mental illness which led her to making some poor life choices. I hope that you have family that will help all of you. I will send prayers your way. If you are religious, I would find a supportive pastor/priest whatever your belief...find support and I am so very sorry for your loss.
When I was 16 my first boyfriend's mother killed herself. I was troubled by this myself for many years, because she was such a nice lady...Sadness, depression and severe mental illness is something that has at times devastating consequences. I am sorry that you and your siblings have been affected in such a truly heartbreaking way, the loss of your mother. Peace be with you all.
Here are a few links...do a search, there are so many on the web. There may even be some online support groups and forums. I wish you healing and peace.

SUICIDE GRIEF: RECOVERING FROM A SUICIDE DEATH
Recovery From grief and loss for suicidal persons
Suicide: Dealing with Grief and Understanding Grieving - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com
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