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In my mind I would imagine me physically attacking him but then I would say that's not good enough so I would tell myself to think of ways cause him more pain then came up with the idea of him getting hit by a car. I came up with that idea on my own. It's not like it just popped in my head out of nowhere.
I can understand the trauma you feel from being bullied in the past by someone. It's not fun. I don't think it's unusual for a person to mentally think of different ways on how to get back at such a bully. Still, I agree that it's better if you can move on with your life, considering the bully is no longer attacking you. That doesn't mean you can forget the experiences, but you can find ways to not let it continue to dwell in your thoughts. That you're talking about whether his loss of life was somehow caused by you, kind of suggests that you're letting those past memories about it continue allow them to remain with you now. If you feel distressed by it, I would suggest seeking some counseling to find a way to let it go and get on with more important things in your life. We might not always be able to completely forget such experiences, but we can learn to live with it and refuse to allow it to remain stuck in our thoughts. Think about the girl in Utah, Elizabeth Smart, who was kidnapped by a couple of perverts. She refuses to let that horrible experience drag her down and has turned it into an opportunity to help other kids that have had similar experiences.
I can understand the trauma you feel from being bullied in the past by someone. It's not fun. I don't think it's unusual for a person to mentally think of different ways on how to get back at such a bully. Still, I agree that it's better if you can move on with your life, considering the bully is no longer attacking you. That doesn't mean you can forget the experiences, but you can find ways to not let it continue to dwell in your thoughts. That you're talking about whether his loss of life was somehow caused by you, kind of suggests that you're letting those past memories about it continue allow them to remain with you now. If you feel distressed by it, I would suggest seeking some counseling to find a way to let it go and get on with more important things in your life. We might not always be able to completely forget such experiences, but we can learn to live with it and refuse to allow it to remain stuck in our thoughts. Think about the girl in Utah, Elizabeth Smart, who was kidnapped by a couple of perverts. She refuses to let that horrible experience drag her down and has turned it into an opportunity to help other kids that have had similar experiences.
I remember her. I am sure she still thinks about it and still gets negative feelings when thinking about it.
If I had a premonition then what does this mean, that I have this ability? I do remember one time when I had this thought of him getting hit by a car that it felt so real that it even shocked me. That was actually the first time I ever had that thought and images in my head. I was meditating with my eyes closed on my back on the floor. Like I said, the feeling was so real that after he got hit I opened my eyes because I was shocked but at the same time I was happy. I replayed this thought many times after this wishing it would happen to him and it did.
It's quite possible that you have psychic abilities. You need to think back through your life and in doing so, try to remember if you've had other premonitions that came true.
As you demonstrated, meditation is often when such abilities show up. I've had some things that were spot on come to me while meditating.
time to put your demons and haunts to bed..let it go once and for all.
you give life to your demons thinking about them....no need to marinate in misery over details of how he died......you are manufacturing...
forgive him....and move on..
does not an ounce of good on what you are doing or created in your own mind...
kid bullies are young...immature and mostly mirror how they've been treated ….forgive the kid and let go ...
Think about it this way...he is still getting to you even after he is dead because you still think about him.
The only person you hurt is yourself by keeping it all in your mind and allowing it to still haunt you. Unfortunately, the ones who continue to hate become bitter and twisted and eventually develop health problems.
You need to release these events from your mind, then he will no longer occupy your thoughts and will no longer have any 'hold' over you.
You owe it to yourself to release him from your thoughts and live the rest of your life in peace. He is beyond your reach now, so the only person you hurt is yourself.
This is a huge life lesson for you, take it and learn from it.
I agree with ocpaul20, you are continuing to traumatize yourself by even thinking about this guy. Why do you waste one minute of your life thinking about him? Life is short and you need to move on from all of this. Put it away and focus on planning your future and enjoying your present day. Continuing to dwell on either the bullying, or your daydreams of payback, or the eventual suffering and death of your nemesis are a waste of what time you have in this world. Don't be defined by the role of victim that this guy put you in, and don't imagine yourself as some kind of winner because he got rundown in the street. Neither of those things are true. Become the best person you can be by looking outside yourself and seeing what good you can do in the world.
I like to say I am responsible for his death. I killed him just by thinking about it even though I was far away from where he was and only founs out about it years after he died. Maybe I had something paranormal follow him and kill him. I experienced the supernatural before I met him one time. I experienced the paranormal many times years after he died but so did other people. I even caught it on audio. I am sure it has nothing to do with him. I even caught it on audio. Paranormal investigator confirmed the voice was not only coming from the same room I was in but also from behind me. But I had other paranormal experiences I saw and heard.
The big question you need research 'is all this how you have stated it, or is your mind playing tricks and has constructed the details of your earlier wish now, and transposed those to before the event?'
We do this. An emotional event can cause these tricks. So unless you wrote these details down in a dated diary or told someone years ago, that you have not seen since he died, the chances are that your memories of what you thought back then are actually false memories.
OP, if you get other premonitions that come true then you may have some mental abilities. But anything like this has never happened before it was a coincidence.
About 4-6000 pedestrians are killed each year struck by vehicles. About one every 1-2 hours. It's been rising too with ever more distracted drivers as well as pedestrians.
If you've been obsessing like this about this person for so long, it's only logical that at the point at which they die you'll likely have been obsessing about them.
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