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I was bullied by some guy in junior high and high school. I was physically attacked by him and he did it to others. Late in 2011 he died by getting hit while walking and crossing a busy highway by a speeding pickup truck. I found out about this a few years later AFTER it happened which I am mad about since I wanted to find out about it when it happened because I was happy to know he was dead. The last time I saw him was a few years after high school which was early 2000s and he was smiling at me at a laundry mat because he knew he got away with beating me and there was nothing I could do about it since he had people with him. I think it's a big coincidence the way he died. Years later after the last time I saw him I moved to another state but every now and then I would think of him being killed and I would imagine him getting hit by a vehicle and I would replay this in my head many times and I wished him to die this way. This is years before he even died. Then like I said I found out years AFTER it happened that he died the same way I imagined him to die. Is this a big coincidence or could there be something supernatural or paranormal to this? What if me wishing him to die and having vivid images in my head of him getting hit by a vehicle somehow caused it to really happened? I imagined this many times and tried to get more vivid images every time it happened. I am glad he's dead. I read how he died online and I still replay it in my head in slow motion, in black and white, and classical music playing in the background. It's like watching an old classical movie that makes me happy. What do you guys think? He once attacked a guy with a violin to his head back in Junior High. I ended up getting a bloody nose by him while walking home and I believe it caused my nose to look crooked. He also caused problems with teachers including stealing one of their purses and flushing its contents in the toilet. Now that this fool is dead, I smile. The last time I saw him he was smiling at me. Now he can never smile again. I still remember his cocky smile and I am satisfied knowing he didn't win. He lost. It's game over for him. I wish I was there when it happened so I could have watched it in person then while he is on the ground and dying the last thing he would be looking at is me standing over him smiling back at him.
What is wrong with being happy about your bullying being killed in a car accident? I see nothing wrong with it. I am sure he would have continued to hurt others-- possibly even killed people-- if he continued to do what he was doing.
What is wrong with being happy about your bullying being killed in a car accident? I see nothing wrong with it. I am sure he would have continued to hurt others-- possibly even killed people-- if he continued to do what he was doing.
What I find wrong is that you have not moved on. Of course we were not in your shoes and we do not know everything that you suffered. But many of us, once HS was over, we never looked back. We had a life to lead and we had to set our own direction. I don't know if it is healthy to hate so much that one wishes they could have seen the guy's end? Of course it was a closure on a terrible experience.
I am not sure this is the proper forum for this thread? Maybe relationships would give you better input? But I don's know.
I just hope that the you can finally put this behind them.
What I find wrong is that you have not moved on. Of course we were not in your shoes and we do not know everything that you suffered. But many of us, once HS was over, we never looked back. We had a life to lead and we had to set our own direction. I don't know if it is healthy to hate so much that one wishes they could have seen the guy's end? Of course it was a closure on a terrible experience.
I am not sure this is the proper forum for this thread? Maybe relationships would give you better input? But I don's know.
I just hope that the you can finally put this behind them.
That is not "wrong" per se. Some people are traumatized by school bullying, especially of the chronic kind. I knew someone who carried unresolved PTSD from HS bullying well into adulthood. He would panic and duck for cover whenever anyone remotely resembling his tormentors came within view, even on public transportation or in a quiet museum, or any random place. The OP might find some peace of mind through a few simple sessions of EMDR; it would eliminate the emotional charge associated with the incidents.
What if your wishful thinking were actually a premonition? IOW, you didn't cause it, the future event caused you to envision what was to happen?
In my mind I would imagine me physically attacking him but then I would say that's not good enough so I would tell myself to think of ways cause him more pain then came up with the idea of him getting hit by a car. I came up with that idea on my own. It's not like it just popped in my head out of nowhere.
I was bullied from elementary through high school. When I learned years later that one of my bullies wound up paralyzed, I wouldn't say I was overjoyed. But I certainly felt no sympathy for him. I suffered with PTSD for years after leaving school, and it wasn't until I reached my late 30s that I started to get over the bullying I'd experienced. People who don't go through this just can't understand what it's like. I can empathize fully with OP and I truly get why you feel how you do. I was triggered by certain words for years following the abuse I went through, and while I probably wouldn't keep visualizing how any of my old enemies died, if I found out that they did, I can't say I'd feel any sorrow either. It is what it is.
I went to school with many who were bullies. The worst one tormented me as well as other kids from the first grade and beyond. He would be in trouble with the teachers but nothing that was done ever made him stop. The last time I dealt with him was during my sophomore year in HS. We were taking a Spanish class together. I was doing really well in that class in large part because I had taken a year of French. Spanish was my father's first language but he never spoke to us kids in Spanish. The bully would constantly harass me, call me derogatory names and accuse me of already speaking the language. I told him I didn't speak Spanish but he didn't stop harassing me. The harassment only stopped when my family moved at the end of the school year.
Later on, I went to a good college. It turned out that he went to college but not a good one. Ironically, he ended up working in my alma mater in a support staff position long after I had graduated. When he was in his late 40s, he dropped dead of a heart attack while driving. I didn't celebrate his death. In fact, I took note of the fact that I was still around and doing well. I found out that he had a wife and two daughters. That made me wonder if he had bullied them, too. If that had happened, I would have felt bad for them.
OP---your thoughts didn't cause the bully's death. As Ruth said, it's quite possible that you had a premonition.
I went to school with many who were bullies. The worst one tormented me as well as other kids from the first grade and beyond. He would be in trouble with the teachers but nothing that was done ever made him stop. The last time I dealt with him was during my sophomore year in HS. We were taking a Spanish class together. I was doing really well in that class in large part because I had taken a year of French. Spanish was my father's first language but he never spoke to us kids in Spanish. The bully would constantly harass me, call me derogatory names and accuse me of already speaking the language. I told him I didn't speak Spanish but he didn't stop harassing me. The harassment only stopped when my family moved at the end of the school year.
Later on, I went to a good college. It turned out that he went to college but not a good one. Ironically, he ended up working in my alma mater in a support staff position long after I had graduated. When he was in his late 40s, he dropped dead of a heart attack while driving. I didn't celebrate his death. In fact, I took note of the fact that I was still around and doing well. I found out that he had a wife and two daughters. That made me wonder if he had bullied them, too. If that had happened, I would have felt bad for them.
OP---your thoughts didn't cause the bully's death. As Ruth said, it's quite possible that you had a premonition.
If I had a premonition then what does this mean, that I have this ability? I do remember one time when I had this thought of him getting hit by a car that it felt so real that it even shocked me. That was actually the first time I ever had that thought and images in my head. I was meditating with my eyes closed on my back on the floor. Like I said, the feeling was so real that after he got hit I opened my eyes because I was shocked but at the same time I was happy. I replayed this thought many times after this wishing it would happen to him and it did.
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