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I am not sure what was inherently "stressful" about higher-density living at all - getting in snips with your next-door neighbors isn't too different no matter if there's two feet of brick or 30+ feet of open space between you and them.
It is way more stressful living on a hall with multiple other apartments. You might not have a problem with your closest neighbor but the next 6 are only a few feet away. Even in 50 x 100 zoning, you really only have to worry about shared property lines, not shared hallways, walls, ceilings, and ventilation. When we lived in high rises with 8-12 apts per floor, there were always a number of "quirky" neighbors including potential problems above and below the apt.
We are in an old suburban area now (mixed 50 x 100, 75 x 100, 100 x 100 depending on the street) and we hardly know the neighbors beyond a couple of homes around us (unless they want to be known). There might be difficult neighbors a couple of doors away, but we do not interact with them other than a wave when they are driving by or going for a walk.
We have way less stress now that we are out of the city.
It is way more stressful living on a hall with multiple other apartments. You might not have a problem with your closest neighbor but the next 6 are only a few feet away. Even in 50 x 100 zoning, you really only have to worry about shared property lines, not shared hallways, walls, ceilings, and ventilation. When we lived in high rises with 8-12 apts per floor, there were always a number of "quirky" neighbors including potential problems above and below the apt.
We are in an old suburban area now (mixed 50 x 100, 75 x 100, 100 x 100 depending on the street) and we hardly know the neighbors beyond a couple of homes around us (unless they want to be known). There might be difficult neighbors a couple of doors away, but we do not interact with them other than a wave when they are driving by or going for a walk.
We have way less stress now that we are out of the city.
I suppose that would make sense if you associated city living with apartment buildings. I don't. Going through my experience, from age 22 on. Going through my living experiences, I see the following.
"Classic" apartment buildings - twice
Subdivided units within houses - four units in three different buildings
Attached or semi-attached single-family housing - rented twice, owned one for seven years
Detached small-lot (but not small) single-family housing - my new place
I cannot recall anything incredibly stressful about my neighbors in any of the buildings I lived in. Honestly, I can barely remember their faces, although given it's been more than a decade in some cases, maybe this isn't surprising. My last apartment in DC was roach infested though, which made me decide from then on in I didn't want to live in a big old apartment building.
Although I settled on a detached house, it was because I couldn't afford the sort of "grand rowhouse" I desired. I've found from experience that a foot of brick muffles most sounds. Over the years I have occasionally heard neighbors arguing and loud music, but not enough that it bothered me. I definitely do not ever want a shared/common yard again however!
My last apartment in DC was roach infested though, which made me decide from then on in I didn't want to live in a big old apartment building.
Roach infested sounds better than bedbug infested. I was over someone's apartment in Brooklyn: make sure not to leave dirty dishes before leaving for the holiday or we'll get roaches. A few blocks away I saw a mattress on the street in a plastic bag. Bedbugs.
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Although I settled on a detached house, it was because I couldn't afford the sort of "grand rowhouse" I desired. I've found from experience that a foot of brick muffles most sounds. Over the years I have occasionally heard neighbors arguing and loud music, but not enough that it bothered me. I definitely do not ever want a shared/common yard again however!
I'd rather hear a bit of people noise through the walls if occasional than traffic noise. What was your negative experience with a shared/common yard?
Roach infested sounds better than bedbug infested. I was over someone's apartment in Brooklyn: make sure not to leave dirty dishes before leaving for the holiday or we'll get roaches. A few blocks away I saw a mattress on the street in a plastic bag. Bedbugs.
The roaches actually followed me to my next apartment by hiding out in my juicer. I ditched it and my microwave before going to the apartment after that.
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Originally Posted by nei
I'd rather hear a bit of people noise through the walls if occasional than traffic noise. What was your negative experience with a shared/common yard?
This is probably unique to my experience, but here goes...
When we first moved into our rowhouse, we noticed the backyard was somewhat subsided concrete. There were also no fences. The deed contained an easement for "ingress, egress, and drying of clothes" which meant that the three other houses in our row, along with five around the corner, had to have right to move through our backyard.
We attempted to "use" our yard to the best we could, with container gardening, an outdoor pond and the like. But we continued to find dog crap everywhere in it. After a few years we realized the woman next door was letting her dog crap wherever it wanted in the back, and wasn't cleaning it up.
Eventually, we wanted to get our yard fixed up, which would have cost us a few thousand if it were done in concrete, and a bit more if we went with nicer brick pavers. But after a trip to the zoning counter it was confirmed it was illegal for us to put up a fence because of the easement. Our neighbors needed to have the ability to step over every square inch of the backyard - we could not limit their movement in any way. So while we could fix our own yard, we couldn't block the blight of our neighbor's yards. And we couldn't build a critical mass towards fixing the entire area. One neighbor was willing to chip in, but another was too poor, a third was too lazy, and the other five houses were all rentals, which were first occupied by low-income families, and later 20somethings as the area gentrified. So the back yard was basically an unfixable issue which we came to avoid.
The roaches actually followed me to my next apartment by hiding out in my juicer. I ditched it and my microwave before going to the apartment after that.
Bedbugs following you to your next apartment sound nightmarish.
It is way more stressful living on a hall with multiple other apartments. You might not have a problem with your closest neighbor but the next 6 are only a few feet away. Even in 50 x 100 zoning, you really only have to worry about shared property lines, not shared hallways, walls, ceilings, and ventilation. When we lived in high rises with 8-12 apts per floor, there were always a number of "quirky" neighbors including potential problems above and below the apt.
We are in an old suburban area now (mixed 50 x 100, 75 x 100, 100 x 100 depending on the street) and we hardly know the neighbors beyond a couple of homes around us (unless they want to be known). There might be difficult neighbors a couple of doors away, but we do not interact with them other than a wave when they are driving by or going for a walk.
We have way less stress now that we are out of the city.
It is way more stressful living on a hall with multiple other apartments. You might not have a problem with your closest neighbor but the next 6 are only a few feet away. Even in 50 x 100 zoning, you really only have to worry about shared property lines, not shared hallways, walls, ceilings, and ventilation. When we lived in high rises with 8-12 apts per floor, there were always a number of "quirky" neighbors including potential problems above and below the apt.
We are in an old suburban area now (mixed 50 x 100, 75 x 100, 100 x 100 depending on the street) and we hardly know the neighbors beyond a couple of homes around us (unless they want to be known). There might be difficult neighbors a couple of doors away, but we do not interact with them other than a wave when they are driving by or going for a walk.
We have way less stress now that we are out of the city.
I moved from a suburban apartment complex to a SFH on a 32' wide lot in the city.
The stress of living in a suburban apartment was a little less for me, because I lived on the top floor, and didn't have people walking around upstairs. But, I still had to deal with: listening to other people climbing up the stairs late at night, loud radios/car alarms outside of my bedroom window, (really, all windows faced a sea of parking, or the street) trying to stay quiet so I don't bother the neighbor downstairs, using the shared laundry facilities, a 10-15 minute walk to catch the bus (that went by once every hour) a 20-25 minute walk to any retail that was useful to me, etc.
I moved from a suburban apartment complex to a SFH on a 32' wide lot in the city.
The stress of living in a suburban apartment was a little less for me, because I lived on the top floor, and didn't have people walking around upstairs. But, I still had to deal with: listening to other people climbing up the stairs late at night, loud radios/car alarms outside of my bedroom window, (really, all windows faced a sea of parking, or the street) trying to stay quiet so I don't bother the neighbor downstairs, using the shared laundry facilities, a 10-15 minute walk to catch the bus (that went by once every hour) a 20-25 minute walk to any retail that was useful to me, etc.
I had way less stress after moving to the city.
What you are describing (suburban acpartment) is not the 'burbs. Urban living, full stop despite being located outside a downtown/urban core.
What you are describing (suburban acpartment) is not the 'burbs. Urban living, full stop despite being located outside a downtown/urban core.
It's not urban living, to me, due to the lack of walkability, and poor public transportation options.
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). There might be difficult neighbors a couple of doors away, but we do not interact with them other than a wave when they are driving by or going for a walk. 
