Moab? (Monticello, Ballard, Junction: lawyers, houses, college)

[Gravelrash]

Originally Posted by acemoab

Yes, Moab is a great place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there. I know because I have been stuck in this stinking dump for fifteen years. I wish I could leave, but my resources are gone. It is easy to make a small fortune here. You just bring a large one and wait. There are no jobs here. There is a urinal cake factory that spews its stench over the town like a meth lab gone all wrong. I feel like a Senator stuck in a toilet stall without even a vice cop to seduce. Forget culture. Unless you think enchiladas made with cream of mushroom soup is haute cuisine, you are out of luck. My property continues to decline in value, so even if I sell I won't even be able to make it to a decent welfare office in a real city. I love all the things that Moab offers. Rocks, sand, sunlight, wind, dust. Did I mention rocks? The highlight of my week was watching cars being crushed two blocks from my foul, smelly home. No one that I know is better off than I, and most are even more depressed, poverty stricken, and desperate. All of the neighbors nearby have moved out, so there isn't even a junkie or registered sex offender around to entertain me, these being the previous occupants of the now vacant houses. The junkies' lovely children kept setting my yard and their house on fire, so actually, I am a bit relieved that they have moved on, although it is difficult to sleep without the screaming and smell of smoke. I miss the sex offender as well. Somehow looking out the window is not as deeply fulfilling now, without seeing him there, staring back. I am the only person I know who actually lives in a real, live mobile home. My better-off friends live in abandoned vehicles, discarded travel trailers, or structures made of things like PVC pipe and clear plastic, mud and straw, or composites of several of these fascinating architectural genres. My less auspicious friends simply live in culverts, or move around for variety. One just stays drunk and lives on the river. He is no longer fully house trained, so I usually visit him. Another one simply lives outside with his mules. He is a famous local artist, so he gets special treatment. Among my friends are engineers, teachers, craftsmen, and other degreed professionals. Our skills are many, but opportunities to use them here are rare. Burglars have the same difficulty here, as well, since there is little to steal. Moab has robbed us of any dignity, self-esteem, or hope that we foolishly brought with us. I have had the sublime pleasure of dumpster diving with two PHD's at the same time. We talked about existentialism as we attempted to find the hidden meaning in the delightful discarded food therein. Sadly, the supermarket now destroys all its expired food. Can’t be feeding the poor. It only encourages them. The hidden meaning was "escape while there is still time."

Ace - I see you've already attracted your share, so I just wanted to say how much I loved your post. Honestly, I just came upstairs from my shop, to which I am unfairly and cruely chained, needing a break after 11 hours straight, serving the types of people I know you are familiar with....and there you were. I laughed out loud, long and so hard the dog thinks I'm having conniptions!

Seriously, as a very regular net user/site moderator, it was a delight to read such a nicely crafted, cogent and precise slammer! Most people I come across are challenged beyond the first comma and the idea of stringing more than 2 connected pieces of information together in a meaningful sentence is more challenging than rocket science.
You are a writer, I perceive, and a good one at that. Your very acute observations of humanity (and the humor that defeated some of your detractors) shone through. Love your work!

When I get to the good 'ol US of A next year, it would be a pleasure to buy you a brew or two and swap tall stories. Maybe down by the river with the formerly house-trained mate of yours?

[SergeantL]

Originally Posted by Gravelrash

When I get to the good 'ol US of A next year, it would be a pleasure to buy you a brew or two…

Buying a brew in Utah may frustrate you. Suffice it to say; beer is not considered the national libation in Utah as it is in many other places. In addition, beer would not be the first choice of river encampment dwellers. I spent 35-years studying the behavioral patterns of encampment dwellers, street sleepers, and various varieties of alley squatters. As a result of my studies, I have compiled a list of refreshments preferred by the aforementioned groups. Allow me to make some recommendations.

A universal favorite but most popular where cold marine climates are a factor, such as San Francisco, Thunderbird by Gallo is found in the hands of the most discriminating street sleepers and slumbering alley squatters. For encampment dwellers, may I suggest MD 20/20 by Mogan David. In addition to the robust odor associated with those who prefer this drink, I have noted the bottles make an attractive addition to the landscape when placed about the encampment in a seemingly random manner.

Oh, I almost forgot; be sure to wear your best Goodwill, Salvation Army, or Saint Vincent De Paul finery, especially if you desire admittance to the local soup kitchen. Getting past the doormen can be brutal.

[sixnsix]

I grew up most of my life in Moab and really enjoyed it. It is an amazing place for outdoors enthusiast. However, its economy is 90% or more tourism based making it practically impossible to make a living there. You will be very hard pressed to find a job that pays above $25,000 a year and that is year round as most jobs are only seasonal from about march to october. Housing costs are extremely high as well as the cost of living. Moab is very isolated with the closest city with a mall and a wal-mart is just over 100 miles away. The schools in moab are very poor quality in terms of education they have struggled severely in meeting both state and national minimum requirements for test scores and also offer very little in terms of advanced placement and upper level classes. So all in all I would probably recommend Moab as a good place to retire to if you are financially set, but to earn a living or raise a family I would sternly recommend against it and suggest something in the Salt lake or St.George areas instead.

Also on a side note if you do decide to move to moab and build a home be careful who you choose as your contractor most are not very trustworthy, I especially hear bad things about the two Ballard Family run companies I think one is Grand Valley Construction and the other is Red Valley Builders as well C&C Noyes run by Cole Noyes. They have a reputation of being very smooth talkers and great salesman but are notorious for cutting corners and short changing things including shortening blueprint dimensions to save themselves money. The ballards are particularly known for being dishonest and having shady business paratices which is one of the reasons I think they operate under separte businness names, I even heard recently that the owner of one of them Brian Jr. beat up a 70 year old man during some kind of dispute and bad enough it sent the 70 year old to the hospital, so I would defineltely not consider them very reputable. So be careful in building or buying a home that was built by any of these companies.

[Aerorick]

Ditto on the wordsmithing Acemoab. I don't know if Moab is completely as Ace discribes it but I'm sure a part of it is. Sarg I know you've seen the worst society can offer but the only differance between a street wino and a suburban lush is one is outside with Boones Farm and the other is inside with a gallon of Port or Smirnoffs. I love the discription of the construction "contractors". That could discribe the ethics of many of the "profesionals" in the entire state. I think the most important issue of moving to such a remote place as Moab is if you needed say something as esoteric as a toaster you'll be driving 80 miles each way to get one. You'll be limited to the same small family run stores that happen to be near and in the winter you'll find out just how well you really get along with who you live with. Of course you could join up with the group who gets together with friends to rent a house there for a week of fun and frolic. But remember they don't live there. And I wonder why not.

[patfromlogan]

Ace is a whining dope. Stuck in Moab for fifteen years? Poor baby. Yeah, and I'm so rich I stay at the cheapest place, the wonderful Lazy Lizard Hostel... Yep, me and the yuppies, snorting coke and running our SUVs over everyone, everywhere, all day and all night,

[Badland wonder]

Don't know about the snorting coke thing, but there are definitely plenty of 4 wheelers running over a lot of things. And lots of fecal matter along the Colorado river side by the bridge. Jobs are mostly seasonal and not that many of them. Moab is a grand place to visit as it is the portal to great national parks, but living there is very trying.

[DesertMountainsDesert]

I just left Moab after 8 years there. It was a love/hate relationship, I LOVE the area, the region, but sometimes I hate the town - but not always.

Moab has some really nice people, but there is a big divide - the rich versus the poor. If you have money or retirement income, it's a neat place. If you're trying to make a living, beware. 25k is considered a high wage there. And very few stable jobs, mostly in teaching or government or the national park service.

I'm from Colorado, there are a lot of Coloradoans there and in some ways, it's more like Colorado than Utah, people wise, meaning not as one-dominant religion based, supposedly only 50% Mormon.

But in some ways, Ed Abbey was right, he said that Moab is a <Deleted> little town full of little <Deleted> people. The rumor mill in Moab works day and night. I was never harmed by it, but I knew people that were, and the town can be very polarized on issues of environment versus money. Lots of good old boy money grabbers, but they're not all from Moab originally.

The one thing I really don't like about Moab is that it sits down in a valley and you can't see out. That bothers me, especially in the winter. And it gets very hot there. People come and go in Moab, it draws people who are creative and love the outdoors, but they leave after they get tired of very little opportunity and the closed system. By closed system I mean that Moab is an island, the nearest real town is 115 miles away (Grand Junction) and it starts to feel like you're on an island sometimes. Few economic opportunities, hard to get stuff you need beyond the basics, overpriced real estate (though that's ending with this recession), and people with nothing to do but talk about each other. If you go to Moab, hang with the outdoorsy crowd, they're cool. Stay away from the realtors, they're greedy and will lie (<Removed Name> is cool, though).

[Terwilleger31]

I've lived inmoab for 31 yrs now its a nice place to live if older couple finding good jobs is hard sometimes but its a great place to retire.

[Terwilleger31]

I'm was born and rasied in moab its a great place

[Terwilleger31]

I agree with yuou 100% I have lived in moab for 31 yrs