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I am the 'voice' for you. =) We are NOT LDS, we are NOT going to convert, our local stake knows this, & invites to all events. =) When attending relief society or any church events, even if just to watch hubby play basketball in the church's league, I fell, IMO, to dress as if I were wearing garments, ie basketball shorts & a t. No one said anything, I just feel it's more respectful to do so. I have attended a number of relief society meetings, &, for me, shorts & t. If it were Sunday, I probably would be more proper. I wore a dress to tour the Quirrh Mtn temple before it was dedicated. I just wanted to show respect.
Hubby went to the Elder Quroum (sp?) frisbee/football event tonight, & had a blast. Yes, he/we are the only non LDS, but we/& they don't care. For our 'hood, it's all about commroderiee (sp?) =) Heck, hubby & I attend more church events then our 2 LDS neighbors. lol I even tease them that non LDS hubby is at an LDS event & your LDS hubby isn't.
I guess we love the involvement w/o the joining commitment, so, perhaps it's easier for us?
that is the kind of cross-culture relationship that our church's leadership is trying to instill in the members, but that is hard to accomplish on account of the insecurities and biases of both sides.
sounds like you guys don't have any of those insecurities and biases and would be fun neighbors. also sounds like your neighbors would be pretty good neighbors.
I am the 'voice' for you. =) We are NOT LDS, we are NOT going to convert, our local stake knows this, & invites to all events. =) When attending relief society or any church events, even if just to watch hubby play basketball in the church's league, I fell, IMO, to dress as if I were wearing garments, ie basketball shorts & a t. No one said anything, I just feel it's more respectful to do so. I have attended a number of relief society meetings, &, for me, shorts & t. If it were Sunday, I probably would be more proper. I wore a dress to tour the Quirrh Mtn temple before it was dedicated. I just wanted to show respect.
Hubby went to the Elder Quroum (sp?) frisbee/football event tonight, & had a blast. Yes, he/we are the only non LDS, but we/& they don't care. For our 'hood, it's all about commroderiee (sp?) =) Heck, hubby & I attend more church events then our 2 LDS neighbors. lol I even tease them that non LDS hubby is at an LDS event & your LDS hubby isn't.
I guess we love the involvement w/o the joining commitment, so, perhaps it's easier for us?
Boy does this show that attitude is everything. You sound like a great neighbor !
You are such a class-act! No wonder your neighbors like you. Could I talk you into moving to Cottonwood Heights?
Thx, Katz. =) Sorry, I'm a westside girl, all the way. I love the calm, quietness here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by irman
Hah ....
We have a terminology for people like you ...
Instant Mormons -- just add water ...
Check w/ me in a few years &, sorry, said w/ love of the LDS, but, you are wrong. Believe me, we've been recruited, hard. We are Irish/German (me) & Italian/German (hubby) Catholic.
We've been here since late dec 06/early jan 07, & been approached alot by the missionaries. We are, what I like to call, the most involved non members of our local ward. Except for Sunday, of course, hubby is pretty involved.
We won't convert. And, as our stake knows, even the bishop, never said w/ malice. Just our respect & dedication to & of our own religion. Just as I respect the LDS religion.
Sat night
Which is how we parent our kiddos, BTW, respect. & tolerance, & acceptance.
&, no, I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by stycotl
that is the kind of cross-culture relationship that our church's leadership is trying to instill in the members, but that is hard to accomplish on account of the insecurities and biases of both sides.
sounds like you guys don't have any of those insecurities and biases and would be fun neighbors. also sounds like your neighbors would be pretty good neighbors.
Thx, I'm always trying to 'bridge the gap'. My daughter's best friend is LDS (our neighbor, who's Mom teases me when I'm nice to 'her' missionaries. lol) , our son has male friends knocking on our door all the time. All LDS. I guess my kids are at least 'kinda nice' or friendly? I dunno. It's been in the past 6 or so mos the boys have been coming over (one moved here though lol) . Again, all LDS, but no one really cares. I did have one girl ask if our daughter went to church on Sunday (they were having a sleepover on sat night) . I know they are LDS. I said yes, as we do go to church on Sunday. &, no, it wouldn't bother/upset us if our LDS neighbors took our kids to their church.
Quote:
Originally Posted by runnerguy45
Boy does this show that attitude is everything. You sound like a great neighbor !
Thx, we like to think we are. We are pretty quiet, clean, basically tamed chitlens (my term for my kiddos lol) . I am the 'momma bear' of our 'hood. I make sure the kiddos (2 3rd grade, 2 2nd grade, 5 1st grade, & 1 K) walk the 1/10th of a mile from our homes to & from school together) . lol I'm 'that mom' that makes sure everyone feels welcome.
I'm sure it's eye rolling to some, I get that. I was bullied alot as a kid for being the tall, skinny, smart kid, so, I'm a 'bit' sensitive. & alot more outgoing now.
Sigh. Well I went to my first RS event. I was excited to go especially after reading about Buckeyez experience. My neighbor was nice to me left me a note on my door with her number and told me where I needed to go and helped me get organized and find the paint and my craft supplies. The VP of the RS did come up to me and she was very warm.
I went up and introduced myself to several people. One woman was there, and when I introduced myself she got up and left and moved to a different table. And then another women came back and was sitting next to me, I introduced myself and then a few seconds later she moved to a different table. I know this is just these two people and is not reflective on the group as a whole, but I felt incredibly unwelcome.
I feel like I should try one more event, but this left a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth and I am a little reluctant to try again. Maybe its because they know its because I just want to get to know my neighbors and am not interested in joining the church?
I am sorry your experience wasn't like mine have been, DC. =( When I go to RS events, I usually go w/ my neighbor, & I know at least 11 other ladies in our ward (all but one are Moms, that one is preggo lol) . One I didn't even know until they saw us at Wal Mart, & said, 'Hi! Oh, you are (insert last name here) . We live on the corner.' I wouldn't have recognized them if they didn't come up to us. Maybe I'm loud, maybe we 'stick out', not sure. lol But, I know them better now. =)
To be fair, my neighbor is the one in our ward who 'knows everything & everyone', so, that helps & I ask her who everyone is. lol
I do find kids to be the best ice breaker. I will also fully admit there was one family that tried to recruit us, & basically gave us the cold shoulder after we didn't join. You'll find that anywhere.
Those that don't know me at our church will ask my name &/or ward. I've never had someone just leave when I told them I'm not LDS. I am extremely outgoing, so, I kinda do my own thing alot. I break off from my neighbors & go solo at RS alot. I love the mother/daughter RS. I lol 'cause my neighbor hates them. She says she goes to RS to get away from her kids. I guess I go to enough nights out w/ my friends I enjoy quality time w/ the kiddos. & no, my kids aren't saints, they can be heathens. lol
Please don't give up. It's the same w/ making friends. It's hard at 1st, but easier the more you go. =)
& PS, if you do have kids, I have 2 great Mom's groups I'm on if yo want to PM me.
Oh, & another PS, my bestest friend here in Utah is a very devout LDS member. =) She also happens to have a son 2 mos younger than my son, & a daughter 5 mos younger than my daughter. =) & our hubbies get along great too. They go out just the 2 of them, or take the kids. =)
^^ Just to clarify, I never told anyone I was not LDS. I did not have one person aside from the RS VP approach me at the event, so I went ahead and introduced myself. But instead of saying anything to me like, oh, I have never seen you here before, or anything, they just moved to another table. I seriously felt like I was back in the 7th grade and everyone ignores the new girl.
I will give it one more try, but I sure won't be expecting anyone to make me feel welcome next time.
my wife "was" LDS for a number of years and as many know once they have you on the church rolls you're ON there unless you have bitter words with the leadership and they finally relent to removing you. My wife has embraced my faith (Netzarim Judaism) and hasn't been active for a number of years. The other day some young pups from the church came by for a fast offering. My wife politely explained to them she was no longer active in the church (and they haven't stopped by for a fast offering for years). So she gets a call from the local bishop regarding his concern over some things the boys told him. Saying that my wife "gave them the impression" not to return anymore and was not nice about it. This is a bold faced LIE and was a perfect example of "bearing false witness". The bishop stated he had no reason to doubt the boys. He also stated some neighbor stated to him that my wife, about the sweetest person you'd ever hope to meet without a mean bone in her body, was not nice to them and they felt my wife had no interest in them or their lives. I never heard a bigger bunch of hooey in my life. She has several good friends that live within a few blocks that are all LDS and they love her with the feeling quite mutual. She has no enemies. I'm thinking this guy is brewing up some guilt complex, and my wife is very sensitive to this and was quite upset. Needless to say the bishop was not about to reveal the fabricated person of interest that made these absurd statements. So we're beginning to feel the left foot of fellowship around our confines. I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier as we are ONE person among a sea of LDS around us. I have no issues with it as long as they leave us the heck alone.
Sigh. Well I went to my first RS event. I was excited to go especially after reading about Buckeyez experience. My neighbor was nice to me left me a note on my door with her number and told me where I needed to go and helped me get organized and find the paint and my craft supplies. The VP of the RS did come up to me and she was very warm.
I went up and introduced myself to several people. One woman was there, and when I introduced myself she got up and left and moved to a different table. And then another women came back and was sitting next to me, I introduced myself and then a few seconds later she moved to a different table. I know this is just these two people and is not reflective on the group as a whole, but I felt incredibly unwelcome.
I feel like I should try one more event, but this left a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth and I am a little reluctant to try again. Maybe its because they know its because I just want to get to know my neighbors and am not interested in joining the church?
I'm sorry about that, Easterner. I don't know exactly now the place was set up for the various activities, but I have actually seem people move from one table to another mid-way through the evening and haven't thought much about it. I don't believe anybody was intentionally being unfriendly. They probably just weren't being intentionally friendly. Shame on them. Maybe it's just that particular group. When everybody knows everybody else -- except for one person -- they can inadvertently ignore a newbie. I've probably been guilty of that myself. I'll have to try to do better in the future.
^^ Just to clarify, I never told anyone I was not LDS. I did not have one person aside from the RS VP approach me at the event, so I went ahead and introduced myself. But instead of saying anything to me like, oh, I have never seen you here before, or anything, they just moved to another table. I seriously felt like I was back in the 7th grade and everyone ignores the new girl.
I will give it one more try, but I sure won't be expecting anyone to make me feel welcome next time.
Again, hugs & sorry you weren't made to feel welcome. =( I was bullied & picked on as a kid ALOT, so, I know how it is not to 'fit in'. My bff from K-6th grade suddenly decided I wasn't 'cool' enough for her, & cut ties. At that time, it was awful. Hindsight, I met the greatest girlfriend ever that year, who is still my bff to this day (me in Utah, her in Ohio) 25 years later. Yes, a 1/4 of a century. =)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dcisive
my wife "was" LDS for a number of years and as many know once they have you on the church rolls you're ON there unless you have bitter words with the leadership and they finally relent to removing you. My wife has embraced my faith (Netzarim Judaism) and hasn't been active for a number of years. The other day some young pups from the church came by for a fast offering. My wife politely explained to them she was no longer active in the church (and they haven't stopped by for a fast offering for years). So she gets a call from the local bishop regarding his concern over some things the boys told him. Saying that my wife "gave them the impression" not to return anymore and was not nice about it. This is a bold faced LIE and was a perfect example of "bearing false witness". The bishop stated he had no reason to doubt the boys. He also stated some neighbor stated to him that my wife, about the sweetest person you'd ever hope to meet without a mean bone in her body, was not nice to them and they felt my wife had no interest in them or their lives. I never heard a bigger bunch of hooey in my life. She has several good friends that live within a few blocks that are all LDS and they love her with the feeling quite mutual. She has no enemies. I'm thinking this guy is brewing up some guilt complex, and my wife is very sensitive to this and was quite upset. Needless to say the bishop was not about to reveal the fabricated person of interest that made these absurd statements. So we're beginning to feel the left foot of fellowship around our confines. I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier as we are ONE person among a sea of LDS around us. I have no issues with it as long as they leave us the heck alone.
Wow, sorry that happened. =( I had one family that shunned us after we didn't convert. But, all the rest found that family 'stupid' for doing so. I've heard many former LDS say it is harder for them, w/ family & all, as opposed to someone, like myself, who has never been LDS to feel accepted & liked????? I dunno, just what my friends who were LDS say. We haven't had missionaries here in a few years. I have politely told them I respect them, but we will not convert. I wave at all of them, & offer water in the summer. Our bishop has visited a few times to offer welcome, support when we were robbed, & he plays basketball w/ hubby most weeks. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katzpur
I'm sorry about that, Easterner. I don't know exactly now the place was set up for the various activities, but I have actually seem people move from one table to another mid-way through the evening and haven't thought much about it. I don't believe anybody was intentionally being unfriendly. They probably just weren't being intentionally friendly. Shame on them. Maybe it's just that particular group. When everybody knows everybody else -- except for one person -- they can inadvertently ignore a newbie. I've probably been guilty of that myself. I'll have to try to do better in the future.
So true, I do look for those I know. HOWEVER, as I'm NOT LDS, I only know some people. At big Mom's events I go to, I know most everyone, so, I go out of my way to intro myself to any newbies & try to make them feel welcome. That is just me. I always felt uncomfortable in new situations, so, I try to make it as smooth as I can for newbies. =)
At the local LDS church, I'm so outgoing, & speak to everyone, I, so far, have always rec'd a positive response. I'm touchy feely, so, I think that helps. &, ironically, I hate when those I don't know, who aren't trying to speak w/ me, get in my 'space', like at the grocery store. I'm a rare one. lol
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No wonder your neighbors like you. Could I talk you into moving to Cottonwood Heights?
I love the calm, quietness here. 
& tolerance, & acceptance. 
There's another side to the story
