Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hey Chicago, I'm thinkin you just miss all of those multiple-homicides that are going down with the ChiTown-Bros on a weekly if not daily basis ?
Those drug-deals gone bad do make for exciting nightly news, I gotta admit.
Chicago is a great city in a cultural, political, and commercial sense but for a place to live day-to-day, can't imagine why you'd choose it over the comparitively low-cost-of-living, safe-secure environment of Utah ?
Longtime lurker here that decided to finally post. My wife and I have been here for 7 years, but we feel like we're ready to head out. Can't really explain why, but we just don't really like it here anymore.
Perhaps its a little homesickness, perhaps it's just the way things are here. We really enjoy visiting the Sugar House and U of U areas because we feel like we're back to "normal" there, whatever that is.
We love the mountains, and we took up snowboarding and skiing since we moved here (which we also love) but it just doesn't seem like enough to keep us here. It's strange, because I can't quite put my finger on it... but this state just isn't for us. We are non-mormons, so maybe that has something to do with it as well. We just never got the feeling that this was home.
Anyway, I was just wondering if there's anybody else out there that feels the same way about this state?
I'm a transplant, & although I love it here, I totally can relate.
After I graduated HS, my family picked up & moved from NY to the SE. Welll....the rest of them (parents/siblings) are still there & love it....I absolutely hated it. It's a popular destination for Northerners to relocate to and many people enjoy it there. I still go there regularly for visits & spent about 10 summers in a row there, and I still do not care for it.
I've been here for almost exactly one year, and I'm ready to leave.
I'm fairly open religiously (I guess that is to say, I'm still looking for a church that feels right), so I did try to go to an LDS ward for a while. They certainly were friendly at first, but I never felt accepted there, at all, and over time, fewer and fewer people would talk to me. Eventually, it was just one of the greeters, and the last time I went, the greeter said exactly one sentence “How's the car running?” before moving on, and everyone else acted like I wasn't even there. It was unsettling to say the least.
Some of the testimonies also bothered me greatly, when one person talked about someone important to her failed some kind of religious test (not stating what it was), and how she threw away the other person because of that. She was devastated, yet was trying to convince herself that she was morally justified in doing so. Everyone clapped. That just seemed very wrong to me.
I still haven't managed to make any friends, and people I know at work are very explicit about “work friends” (not just me, but everyone) They're friendly at work, but outside, they don't know you. Even people I know at work who are into similar hobbies (like hiking and bicycling) have consistently rejected my offers, LDS or not.
I'm tired of constantly being alone, I'm scared of the upcoming winter, and I want to go back to New Mexico.
Not in an LDS worship service they didn't. Sorry, but that simply doesn't not happen. Ever. And I don't want anyone reading this thread to think that it did.
Location: God's Gift to Mankind for flying anything
5,921 posts, read 13,856,642 times
Reputation: 5229
Comments inserted
Quote:
Originally Posted by gsilver
I've been here for almost exactly one year, and I'm ready to leave. Sad to hear that, but if that is the way it will be than so be it.
I'm fairly open religiously (I guess that is to say, I'm still looking for a church that feels right), so I did try to go to an LDS ward for a while. They certainly were friendly at first, but I never felt accepted there, at all, and over time, fewer and fewer people would talk to me. Eventually, it was just one of the greeters, and the last time I went, the greeter said exactly one sentence “How's the car running?” before moving on, and everyone else acted like I wasn't even there. It was unsettling to say the least. Not a *rare* occasion. Some people are just like that. But ... Everyone ???
Some of the testimonies also bothered me greatly, when one person talked about someone important to her failed some kind of religious test (not stating what it was), and how she threw away the other person because of that. She was devastated, yet was trying to convince herself that she was morally justified in doing so. Everyone clapped. That just seemed very wrong to me. Uhmmm ... Which ward did you go to ? NO, do not answer that, but it makes me wonder ...
I still haven't managed to make any friends, and people I know at work are very explicit about “work friends” (not just me, but everyone) They're friendly at work, but outside, they don't know you. Even people I know at work who are into similar hobbies (like hiking and bicycling) have consistently rejected my offers, LDS or not. It takes *two* to make friends. So one of those two, is not doing it right. Since your *offers* are rejected *constantly*, I wonder which one of the two, is not doing it right, or maybe better said, does not have the right attitude ? Are you telling us that there is not even one person, who you work with, is at least amicable to you ?
I'm tired of constantly being alone, I'm scared of the upcoming winter, and I want to go back to New Mexico. No use being miserable all the time. -- You use the words *consistently* and *constantly* !
Why did you leave New Mexico? -- Did you not *like* it there?
What brought you *here*? -- Hoping it would be a better area for you ?
What keeps you here? -- Only *you* can make a change !!
Keep in mind that being *alone* is not a bad situation.
Many *live alone*, and some of them are really *loners*.
When it becomes *lonely* for you, *you* have a few things to work on.
Do you still keep in contact with friends in New Mexico ?
When was the last time you really had a conversation with them ?
Have you asked them if there is a possibility for you to return, and get another job there (or maybe your *old* job is still there ?), where people may be different than those you met *here* ?
If it helps, I came here umpteen years ago, against my will !
(How do you stay married to the same women for over 40 years ? Two words -- *yes dear* !!)
The wife decided (after living all over the world) that it was time to make sure our kids got to know their cousins !
(She is related to almost every *Tom,Dick and Harry* you see all over ! This happens when you marry a Utah girl with ancestry who came with the handcarts ..)
I hated it here. I thought these Utah people were weird to say the least.
I must have uttered *what is wrong with these people* at least 200 times a day ... !
Our kids could not wait until they could leave Utah. All of them did, as soon as they finished their college education.
Guess what !!
- The kids are all back here, except one who is still in New Mexico, but he has a job there where he will, by all probability, retire from, at a ripe old age ...
- They still do not care for any of their cousins ...
- They have many friends, LDS and Non-LDS.
- I have changed my mind (you get used to everything sooner or later), and love it here. The people are kind and loving. I am surrounded 50/50 by LDS and Non-LDS. When autumn *leaves* us, we help each other clean the yards. When it snows, they know, we are the *old* people, and when I am *late*, my drive-way is already cleared from snow.
Just my humble opinion. When I drive on the freeways or anywhere in Utah, I take it as *A Challenge*, rather than think of all those other drivers as *inept*
There is a reason why I-15 is called *The Mormon 500*
When I get home, I tell my wife, *I won again, I did not get into trouble on the road...*
Last but not least, you have been here only one year !
It took me many years to be where I am now, meaning I like Utah, I love the people. I still hate snow and freezing-cold weather !!
I don't know--everyone is different, of course--but one year is more than enough time for me to decide I don't like an area. I briefly moved to Phoenix way back in the 80's. I knew it wasn't for me within two months and I've never been back there since.
Look at it this way, if you know you don't like an area, your wasting your life staying there unless there's something keeping you there worthy of your time. Otherwise, there's no point in staying. In my case, this place has outgrown me. But I'm still here for now until the time is right for me to leave (besides it's autumn, winter's coming--I wouldn't want to leave in the only decent time of year around here ). But, by all means, if this place is not for you and there is nothing holding you here... go to a place that fits your lifestyle.
When my parents moved to NJ (no choice..my dad was transferred there) they HATED it. By the time they moved from NJ after 10 years and moved here to UT, they really missed it. Then here in UT, guess what? They hated it. It was different. It wasn't like back east (where they are originally from), it was a culture shock. It took quite a few years before they started to see the beauty in UT. No, Utah is not a place for everyone. Yes, sometimes it does take a while to start to like it, but that is true no matter where one would move. I have moved around a lot in my life (*sarcastically*thanks Dad!!) and I can't think of one place that I liked right off the bat.
I am sorry you feel like Utah isn't the place for you. That happens, but many times life is 10% what happens and 90% how you choose to react to it. Hope you can find a place that makes you happier. Life is too short to not be happy.
To have a job. My focus was Albuquerque, but I didn't get any offers there. If you haven't noticed, the economy is pretty terrible these days, and it's doubly-difficult if you don't have much experience.
When you've been applying for jobs for a year and a half and it doesn't go anywhere, it's not like you can be very picky about where to live.
I like my current job. I like the mountains, but I didn't anticipate anywhere close to the level of social rejection that I'm experiencing here.
I have social issues, period, but I'm more isolated here than I've been in my life.
I've been here for almost exactly one year, and I'm ready to leave.
I'm fairly open religiously (I guess that is to say, I'm still looking for a church that feels right), so I did try to go to an LDS ward for a while. They certainly were friendly at first, but I never felt accepted there, at all, and over time, fewer and fewer people would talk to me. Eventually, it was just one of the greeters, and the last time I went, the greeter said exactly one sentence “How's the car running?” before moving on, and everyone else acted like I wasn't even there. It was unsettling to say the least.
Some of the testimonies also bothered me greatly, when one person talked about someone important to her failed some kind of religious test (not stating what it was), and how she threw away the other person because of that. She was devastated, yet was trying to convince herself that she was morally justified in doing so. Everyone clapped. That just seemed very wrong to me.
I still haven't managed to make any friends, and people I know at work are very explicit about “work friends” (not just me, but everyone) They're friendly at work, but outside, they don't know you. Even people I know at work who are into similar hobbies (like hiking and bicycling) have consistently rejected my offers, LDS or not.
I'm tired of constantly being alone, I'm scared of the upcoming winter, and I want to go back to New Mexico.
So sorry you are having a hard time. We to moved to Utah from Oregon and were there 2 years. We also felt "alone" and the winters were hard, for me particularly because I had never driven in snow. We lived in the Willamette Valley and it really didn't snow much there and I grew up in the Bay Area. Some of our neighbors were friendly towards us and some weren't, I guess that is just how our area was, we lived in Utah County BTW. We moved to New Mexico and loved our neighborhood and school.
One of my best friends is LDS and while living there I would call her A LOT and ask questions about this or that. It was great having an inside line to the LDS culture. Some people on this site would tell me it was me that was the problem, the way I acted, going in with a preconcieved notion of the LDS faith. I did go in thinking all would be ok because as I said my BFF is LDS. I got a lot of it was me, not them comments. To be honest, I have never had a hard time finding friends anywhere else other than Utah, so I know it isn't me. I know I will get bashed for this, but my friend did tell me that converted heathens were not treated the same, because they were not born into the faith, they converted. Her husband converted, so she sees the difference in how they treat her as apposed to her husband. I'm sure not all wards are like this, but hers was. They have since moved to Alaska and are in a new ward. Maybe this is the reason for the treatment you were getting. We finally decided that Utah was not for us and when my husbands company transfered him we decided to move with him.
If you really don't like it there, then I suggest that you move back to New Mexico where you will feel happier.
To have a job. My focus was Albuquerque, but I didn't get any offers there. If you haven't noticed, the economy is pretty terrible these days, and it's doubly-difficult if you don't have much experience.
When you've been applying for jobs for a year and a half and it doesn't go anywhere, it's not like you can be very picky about where to live.
I like my current job. I like the mountains, but I didn't anticipate anywhere close to the level of social rejection that I'm experiencing here.
I have social issues, period, but I'm more isolated here than I've been in my life.
Do you have any relative you could stay with for a while in New Mexico while you search for a job? Maybe you could sign up with some Temp agencies, at least that way you would have money coming in while looking for a more perm position.
May I ask, where in Utah you live? I have found that a lot of times different areas of Utah are easier for Non-LDS'ers to live than others.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
). But, by all means, if this place is not for you and there is nothing holding you here... go to a place that fits your lifestyle.
