Must just be a Utah thing (Bountiful: live in, law, yard)

[irman]

Originally Posted by Katzpur

Not everything is about "need."

Yes, Katz, you nailed it right there!

My Mum died in another country on the other side of the world, and I left shortly after that.
After many years, I was finally was able to visit her grave again, or so I thought.
I could not find it, so I asked at the "office".

Because of so many years passed, they kindly told me that my Mum's grave was dug up to make room for other people.
So now I just "remember" her on her birthday.

My Dad, died in the Japanese war and nobody knows where he died or where he was eventually buried, so I just "remember" him on Memorial Day.

My wife and our children with their children accompany me to my yearly visit to the Military burial grounds near Camp Williams, where we just pay respect those who went before us. We sit down and talk about why we are there, with the grandkids, so they will learn the History of The USA.

I "happened" to be in Washington DC, on Memorial Day, a long time ago and visited the Memorial Wall there.
I really do not like to visit again because I did find many names I knew! I really do not like to be reminded that over 57,000 of my "comrades" died in the war.

Because I married a Utah girl, I have umpteen "in law" members of her family buried right here in Utah, so we "decorate" their graves, like you do.

Sometimes I feel there are more dead in-laws then "alive" ones ...

[nightbird47]

Originally Posted by Geo-Aggie

Confirming that this is also a thing in Southern California and the Upper Midwest. I figured it was done nationwide. Based on comments here it sounds like it may not be done in the Northeast and New England?

My dad was in the navy before the war, and only retired after it was over. He was ready to just not be amid war and honored those who fought, but didn't want to have to see any of the family join them. He moved over to aerodynamics and was early on working on space. For him looking forward was the best way to honor the dead.


But Mom grew up in the San Fernando Valley, and her mom out near the ocean. It was very heavily influenced by people from the midwest, and one family would move, then another and so on until there was a little chunk of especially Iowa right in the middle of Los Angeles. I met lots of cousins and aunts and uncles who I'd have never known if Missouri and Kansas hadn't all en masse decided to go to California. I think it is one of the contributions to the culture which came to be. I'd been to Alabama to meet the part of Dad's family who hadn't moved to CA yet, but when later I visited the midwest for a convention, it was astonishing how it felt like I'd walked into San Pedro or the little towns near it.


I have pictures of my mom and dad's graves with flowers, and there is still someone in the extended family who places them there which is quite awesome. I would love to get in touch with some Spurgins and see how many cousins I have.



But when you leave CA and are visiting the midwest it really strikes you how familiar some of it feels because a little of it was transported to Los Angeles and definately left its mark.

[Nicci6Squirrels]

My husband and I just returned home to WI from a beautiful road trip to the Southwest. We spent a lot of time in Utah and I loved it. We sought out some ghost towns and were surprised to see the graves in the cemeteries beautifully and elaborately decorated. It was wonderful to see that the memories of the people buried there were intact. I thought it was a lovely tribute.

I visit my grandparents' graves quite often and place flowers there. I never want to just "forget" about their gravesites, so I understand completely why you'd take the time and make the effort.

[Zenstyle]

"... I mentioned that I'd spent most of the day with my sister driving up to the cemetery in Bountiful and then back to one in Salt Lake, just decorating graves"

I suspect what baffled your friends is the "most of the day" part. I know about decorating graves on Memorial Day, but sheesh, don't overdo it.

[irman]

Originally Posted by Zenstyle

"... I mentioned that I'd spent most of the day with my sister driving up to the cemetery in Bountiful and then back to one in Salt Lake, just decorating graves"

I suspect what baffled your friends is the "most of the day" part. I know about decorating graves on Memorial Day, but sheesh, don't overdo it.

I think it is just a figure of speech ...?

I do it, and we do not spend "most of the Day!"

[doc1]

I see plenty of that here in northern NJ. Not just a Utah thing.

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by Zenstyle

"... I mentioned that I'd spent most of the day with my sister driving up to the cemetery in Bountiful and then back to one in Salt Lake, just decorating graves"

I suspect what baffled your friends is the "most of the day" part. I know about decorating graves on Memorial Day, but sheesh, don't overdo it.

We actually spent about four hours. My sister would rather die than just buy a few potted chrysanthemums and drop them off by the graves. We actually have cut back on how many we do, but it has to be fresh-cut flowers arranged at the cemetery. And for us, there are two different cemeteries, so it's a bit of a drive.

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels

My husband and I just returned home to WI from a beautiful road trip to the Southwest. We spent a lot of time in Utah and I loved it.

So happy you loved Utah! Thank you for saying so.

[Mark Senior]

Just visiting Utah, based in SLC for a week driving withing 300-400 miles each day to get the "area" experience, I am on the Texas Forum often, specifically the Tyler Sub-Forum, thought I would check out Utah since I'm here. No, this is not just a Utah thing as suggested, Tyler and even the largest cities, many, maybe not most, follow this custom.

Utah has many beautiful areas, enjoying the experience, except for the freeway designs reverse turns, traffic going in opposite directions using the SAME lanes, alternating as traffic signals change, similar to driving on the wrong, left side of the road. Yep, I suppose you would say we have it traffic patterns backwards, weird, in Texas, mega metros of DFW and Houston, which I frequently visit are not designed in this manner.

[kapikap]

I could see cleaning up your own, but everyone elses? More families should be cleaning up burial plots of loved ones, bring flowers, celebrate birthdays, I get it, its normal especially for spiritual minded people. It helps to heal and never forget.