Non-mormon family looking to relocate to Lehi (Provo, Sandy: to live in, shop)

[ngela Slater]

I am in the same boat as the last poster. We are about to move to the Lehi area. I have 3 daughters and am terrified that they will not be included on activities, slumber parties etc. I was raised LDS-and have NO intention of ever becoming a member again.
As I was reading the posts, I read on woman saying that there are no bars...later, a member posted how sad it is that this woman's social life revolves around bars. THIS IS WHAT I CANT STAND about so many LDS people! They grow up in these secluded worlds and have no clue what real life is like! My husband and I drink-we are not alcoholics. We go out-we are not bad parents. I work for Starbucks-I am not on a mission to addict Americas youth to caffine!
I would love to hear from someone with non LDS children in school-and how they are treated! Thanks

[coolcats]

Originally Posted by ngela Slater

THIS IS WHAT I CANT STAND about so many LDS people! They grow up in these secluded worlds and have no clue what real life is like!

Let's put the shoe on the other foot. If you convey your attitude to your kids, then what are the odds of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy? Your kids might automatically discount friendships with any LDS kids. Salt Lake Valley is more diverse. Maybe move up here and commute down to Utah Valley.

[Turp52]

Originally Posted by DP525

Use the "quote" button to respond to a specific post.

And you didn't offend me. I was responding because I thought you were referring to my original post.

Daybreak is in South Jordan. I am about 18 miles from IMFT (Micron).

So Utah not to bad is it. I lived in Orem 53 years and am sorry to move out. You will do ok there in South Jordan.

[aimless35]

Originally Posted by ngela Slater

I would love to hear from someone with non LDS children in school-and how they are treated! Thanks

Just discovered this forum, too late for the original poster, but didn't yet have child in school yet, so might not have been helpful.

I have lived in the same house in Lehi for 8 years, a non-LDS transplant from the East coast. My husband and I are fairly shy, so we don't know a lot of our neighbors, but I do know they are predominantly LDS because I saw the ward map (they really do have a map in the local church identifying every home, annotated for who is a member!). Just a few anecdotes - I'll try not to offer any interpretation beyond the telling.

1) Several years ago the water in Lehi tested positive for E.Coli and a boil order went out. I found out about it when the radio announced that it had been rescinded. When I called the city and asked why residents weren't informed the reply was "You should have been informed in church. Didn't they announce it?"
2) My husband and I were not married when we first moved in. We married a year later in the yard and our neighbor, who is an official in LDS the church, not only came to the wedding he brought me to it in his horse and buggy as a gift. After the ceremony he generously gave rides to every guest who wanted one.
3) There is an extremely high student to teacher ratio here in Utah - in fact it is the highest out of 50 states and D.C. This is not because it is a booming area, it has always been this way. Mormons have children. 5, 6, 7 is very common. Schools are grossly underfunded and have crowded conditions. There have been discussions for years of ways to alleviate this, but never progress.
4) We walk our oldest to Kindergarten. On the way there I hear all the mothers and children greeting each other. Presumably they all know each other from church. It is difficult for my daughter to make friends because they all seem to have best friends already. There are one or two who aren't already "attached", but one of these has a completely different set of rules from us (they often play in the road, for one). The other comes to school by bus, so I haven't found a way to meet her parents.
5) I have never in 8 years of living here, been invited to any non-church neighborhood party. After they realized that we were not going to be doing the monthly offering (took over a year for that realization to sink in), we stopped being invited to any ward activities as well. I had to smile at another poster who mentioned being invited to several ward parties but was waiting for a non-church affiliated one. My experience is that you will have a very long wait.
6) Perhaps it is because my neighborhood is old and established rather than new and HOA'd, but only 2 neighbors have ever introduced themselves to us. For any others the effort has all been on us, and as I said we are shy. I've shoveled snow for an elderly neighbor without ever learning his name.

If we didn't have family in the area, I wouldn't live here. I love the mountains, hiking, camping, proximity to National Parks, and all the countryside has to offer. But there are other places in the country I can get that with less of the baggage. I'm a little tired of being mistaken for a grandmother merely because I was in my 30's when my children were born. I'd like to have a close friend in the same state as me (other than my husband) with whom I can really share and not have fundamental differences in religion, politics and values. I can handle one or two of those, but would like just one neighbor without all three different.

[Zuma Mama]

Originally Posted by DP525

Our kids are enjoying playing with all of the other kids on the street. And the "question" has not been asked. It doesn't seem to be an issue. At least not yet.

Please don't laugh but what is this "question" that has come up a number of times throughout this thread? I would sincerely like to know what questions my neighbors of others faiths find annoying. I will gladly avoid them. Could DP525 (and any others who want to help, not hurt) please share with me those questions that would be most well received?

I think I undestand the "do you have kids" one. One can usually tell, just by being observant, if a couple has children or not. I am sorry for those couples who do not have children, but are asked this question anyway. This can be a sensitive issue, that I know! If I see a bike or skateboard in the garage I usually ask "Tell me about your children?" For me this question is a way to learn the names of new children in the neighborhood. I like to greet children by name when I see them out walking or playing (just thinking of the poster who was bothered when others did not greet her or her children when she was walking them to school). I also ask this question so that I can tell my own children about the new family and encourage them to be welcoming, friendly and invite the children to play. (good grief, I used the word "children" 100 times in that paragraph ~ couldn't be helped!)

This thread has been on my mind a great deal lately. I am very concerned about my behavior and how it affects others (since mine is the only behavior I can actually change). I want to be inclusive and teach my children to reach out to everyone without bias. Even though it is cliche', it never ceases to amaze me how much you can learn when you consider things from another persons point of view.

[DP525]

Zuma,

The "question" would be, "Are you a member? Are you LDS?" Or something along those lines. I personally wouldn't find it offensive but it has come up as being usually one of the first things out of a new neighbors mouth. This is in reference to your status within the church being highly important in Utah. In my own case however, it has never been asked. But about eight days after we moved in, the elders paid us a visit so I am sure we are now on the ward map as "non-members." No need for the good neighbors to ask now. What an efficient system. I have also noticed that after the initial "friend-ing", the conversations with the neighbors have dropped to zero. Could be the weather or other things. I just find it interesting.

[michelleleigh]

I was taught to treat anyone I came into contact with, as an equal, because we are all God's children (I am not Morman,I grew up Luthran) So I just assuem that any one else would do the same. We are moving to Pleasant Grove in December an i am looking forward to this.

[michelleleigh]

I am sorry though,that your children were picked on. I know how that feels and would never wish that on any one.( sorry if my skills are a bit bad, i have never been to a forum before)

[DP525]

Originally Posted by michelleleigh

We are moving to Pleasant Grove in December an i am looking forward to this.

Coming from New York I would be looking forward to it too.

[michelleleigh]

I enjoyed having four seasons though, in New Mexico where I grew up we had either windy, cold and windy or hot and windy.I was shocked at how green NY is we dont live in the city.I think my neighbors thaught I was nuts.I hope all works out for you and yours