Non-mormon family looking to relocate to Lehi (Draper, Alpine: credit, private schools)

[AZtempinUT]

As I read more and more of these blogs...my heart aches, but I am optimistic that things can change as long as we know change can only happen within what we can control, ourselves. I have been in Lehi/Draper area for one month now, I am not naive by any means and have studied many world religions and know exactly where my mind, body, heart and soul stand. No one has been overly friendly to me in the past month, just hesitant; I see a lot of hesitation...maybe I was not mapped out yet Anyway, I have been myself, very open and kind with those that have crossed my path. Only two people in one month have engaged in full conversation, it’s that hesitation. Yesterday I was visited by two Mormon representatives of the ‘LDS’ faith. I was not aware I was mapped out and on a target list, but welcomed the afternoon visit. It's sad that people would be reluctant to talk to you based on your religious beliefs. Again...I believe in what I believe and a visit is not going to conform me, again, I'm optimistic a visit goes two ways .

Friendships, acquaintances, relationships in general, I make my decisions based on individual over-all compatibility of myself and another after talking and getting to know people and who they are as a whole. I have friends of all religions, races, etc.. We are here to learn and grow from one another, but I will not change to have a friend or be a part of something and if others choose to not talk or associate with me based on that, so be it. Ultimately...I am hearing a lot of loneliness on the board. You are never alone. Be courageous and rise above all of these individuals whom you feel are ostracizing you and keep doing things out of your comfort zone for them (like shoveling snow for someone unable too...take note: That act was noticed...Kudos to the individual whom did that!!) People can act as though they are better than or ignore you, but it's up to you how you react, I say take control of what you can, yourself and rise above them and their judgments’!! If you keep rising above with nothing but goodness and joy from your heart, not only your children, but their children will notice and seeds will be planted and questions will be placed in their hearts. I'm not aiming this towards anyone of any particular belief, just individuals...anyone who is feeling alone and ostracized, anyone who knows deep in there heart they are not acting kind and generous to others. I’ve heard and believe: We reap what we sew, there should be no 'reward' behind the good you do, just do it. You aren't and never will be alone! Stand strong; you never know what can come of a simple kind word. Good luck with spreading your JOY!!!!

[hymie67]

I moved to Utah and lived there for 5 years. I joined the Mormon Church a few years before I moved there from NJ. I thought that people in UT would be more accepting of my beliefs because there are so many Mormons there. I couldn't have been more wrong. Utah is the only State that I know of where people care whether or not you are Mormon.
Every new job I started or new location I got transferred to the first thing everyone wanted to know was "are you Mormon". At first I wasn't too threatened by this, I figured it was just friendly chit-chat. Then it became obvious that this was an issue of contention everywhere I went. Especially among people who are disassociated with the LDS Church. As soon as they found out I was LDS, that was it, they had me figured out. What did they figure out? That I am judgemental and a hypocrit.
I kept hearing stories and always from people who were not friendly towards the LDS Church, of LDS people who wont let their kids play with non-LDS kids. This one I heard all the time, but never actually witnessed in the 5 years I lived there.
I had several jobs where I worked with people who were hostile towards Mormons, one I quit because it got so bad. I also noticed that in some work environments the potential of discrimination for this matter.
Another point of tention I found is that a large number of non-LDS people in Utah believe that the Mormon Church controls the government. When Utah passed an indoor clean air act I had to listen to my co-workers cite this as an example of the Mormon Church controlling the government. Never mind the fact that similar acts were being passed in major cities all over the Country.

This paranoia resulted in a very uncomfortable and often hostile work environment. After one transfer someone asked if I was Mormon and I told them it wasn't their business. They wouldn't leave me alone till they found out.
When I moved back to NJ I was so relieved to work with people who couldn't care less what religion I am.
There are a lot of good reasons to hate people, why hate based on religion or race?
I am of the opinion that there is a lot of misinterpreting going on and selfconscious people. For example:
You move into the neighborhood, my kids tell your kids that they aren't allowed to play with them, you assume it's because you are not Mormon. The reality is that your kids are using foul language, my kids are picking it up and I tell them not to play with those kids anymore.
I currently live in Albuquerque and I have done this myself. We are LDS, most of my kid's friends are non-LDS. I couldn't care less what religion they are, but I don't let my kids play with kids who are a bad influence. My son was playing with an LDS kid who tried to get him to smoke pot, guess what, he isn't allowed to play with that kid anymore and I had a talk with his parents.
I have had several times that I have had to pull the plug on friendships because of foul language. I could easily see a selfconscious non-LDS or inactive person misinterpreting this and assuming it is because they are not active LDS. I say this because I worked with dozens of these people and they were able to make all kinds of judgements about me before they even knew me.
I am not saying that it never happens, but I'll bet the scenario above is much more common than an LDS parent telling their kids they are not allowed to play with non-LDS kids.

[michelleleigh]

We are moving to Utah in december,and when I first visited the forum,I was worried at first> Because I saw taht both sides were being judgemental of eachother.Wich is wrong,you dont get to judge I thaught that was Gods job.Then some very friendly people gave me some tips on the area and I felt a lot better.I am doing what I always do and just treat evryone as an equal because we are all Gods children> Besides cant be any worse than when all my NY neighbors thaught I was nuts,because I told them I did not know that grass was green when tha snow melted ( We came From Albuquerque nm, there is no grass)

[michelleleigh]

actually I would like to know some more about LDS,(growing up I was taught by my church some odd things about LDS and other religons wich I did not belive)
I grew up Luthern and after that I kind of broke away from that church>Coulld not understand the bad mouthing of peolpe who belive in God or for people in generalThanks to any info

[hymie67]

mormon.org is the official church site for that.

[chazcrew]

Michelle, when you get to Utah, tell any of your friendly Mormon neighbors that you're interested in learning more. Believe me, they'll have missionaries on your doorstep within a week, LOL.

Seriously, most LDS people are happy to share their beliefs if the person asking is sincere (and not just looking to argue or bash). And I agree, www.mormon.org is a great site to look at for the official beliefs of the religion, straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

[crybaby]

My husband recently took a job in the Orem area, and we are about to relocate there. I have many concerns about moving there because I am non-LDS and have two small kids. After reading all the posts in this thread, I believe that I would like to look for homes in an area or neighborhood where the largest percentage of the population is not LDS. My question is: Can anyone tell me where I might begin my search? I really don't want to move into a neighborhood only to find that it is 90% Mormon. I mean, should I look in Orem? Provo? Sandy? Pleasant Grove? West Jordan? What about "Point of the Mountain," where ever that is? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[chazcrew]

"point of the mountain" is the place where the freeway rounds the edge of a mountain that basically divides Salt Lake County from Utah County. North of the point, you will find a more diverse population. South of the point you will find a higher percentage of LDS. It's still high in SLC too, though. Just not as high as Orem. If you choose to live closer to SLC, you will have to commute to Orem. It's not fun, but the good news is at least you're commuting the opposite direction from the majority of others, so you'll have less traffic. But lately it seems rush hour is getting worse the other direction, too.

If you don't want a high percentage of Mormons, don't move to Provo. It's highly, highly LDS. I lived in Orem for several years, and on my street, a normal street in a normal neighborhood, we had only two families that weren't LDS. That's anecdotal, of course. There might be other neighborhoods where only two families are LDS. But Utah County in general is going to be largely LDS.

The outlying areas of SLC (you mentioned West Jordan and Sandy) are also highly LDS, but not as much so.

[beerman10236]

I lived in Utah for 3 years. You need to find your way around the Mormon (LDS) religion. Get hooked up in another church and you will be fine. Don't feel like you have to get sucked into LDS to fit in. Find a Methodist Church or some other Christian faith. My kids were treated differently, my son was not permitted to date most of the Mormon girls. As soon as the mothers would find out that he was not Mormon the dating was over. I was glad to move away for my kids sake. Great state to live in, but your circle of friends will be found outside of the LDS faith, you are an outsider so you will need to act like one and find friends in other groups that are not LDS, I found mine in the Methodist Church and they were great people. I really miss my friends from Utah. I found my way just fine but it was absolutly about getting friends in other circles.

[Moxie37]

I don't think you will find an area in Orem where the majority is not mormon. Just for the record, I was a kid that lived in orem and was not allowed to play with many kids because I was not mormon. I got strait A's and never smoked pot in my life, so it does happen. We recently moved back to utah after I had been away for about fifteen years. You will quickly learn where you can find people who have more your interests. If you are wanting less of a mormon population you would have to look north. It would be very difficult to find south of the point of the mountain. Good luck. One good way to meet people is to go shopping on sunday. Especially at starbucks! =)