Teenage dating in Utah (hotels, home, high schools)

[lolagranola]

I had never seen/heard of this before coming to Utah. My daughter has recently started dating, and we had had a 10th grade relative live with us for a year.

It seems you can't just ASK someone to the Prom (or Homecoming, or big event). You have to contrive a clever way to ask, preferably as a surprise. Some examples (most of which involve sneaking into their room):

-hang a door-sized poster asking them (especially if it is interactive...like w/flaps of the "who", also helpful to have candy bars glued to it)

-make a cake & decorate with the proposal

-dump shredded newspapers on their floor w/ the info mixed in

-fill their room w/balloons, one of the balloons have the question

-send flowers to them when they are in class

-decorate their car w/clues

THEN, the person asked has to respond. Guess what? They can't just CALL & say yay or nay...they have to respond in kind (see above for ideas!)

So the date is on...and now they need a date for their date. They can't just go alone, the two of them! No, that is for "losers" (so I'm told by teens)! They have to have a group.

Okay, now they have the group together. Now what are they going to do?? Just go on the date? No silly! There has to be "day activities"!! Which may involve:

-mini golf & sandwiches

-silly games at home or "night games"

-kids w/a parent who works for an airline have gone to Disney (geesh, not OUR group!)

Is it like this throughout Utah?? You tell me! We're in Davis Co, and this is VERY typical!! My daughter was appalled at the suggestion of just calling the guy to respond (and when they aren't expecting to be asked, it can take several days to respond)...and her friend wanted to go w/them to a dance earlier this year, but with only a week before the dance, didn't have time to go through the whole procedure & thought it in bad taste to ask him w/out all this!

Oh! There is VERY good news! This means that bedrooms need to be kept clean & presentable, because someone might be showing up unexpectedly!!

[kaytidid]

I, too, think this is all a very interesting idea. Coming from NJ, we certainly didn't do things that way. That, and our proms were a FORTUNE. They were held at hotels usually, with a sit down dinner included. We were just asked out to the prom. No cute ideas needed.

Oh, and promenade? Is it just our local high school that does that for prom, or is it throughout the state? Never heard of that either. I DID learn that the person you attend promenade with DOES NOT necessarily have to be your date for prom. Hmmm....

If my dd is still with her current boyfriend when she attends the prom, I can't see them going as a group. They attend different high schools and don't do a lot of socializing with each of their respective group of friends.

[Katzpur]

Lola, I think the whole big production you've described is pretty routine here in Utah. It's absolutely over the top. It wasn't always that way, though. Back when I was in high school, it was not like this at all.

[hilgi]

I hope it ends in the next 5-11 years :-)

[ShouldIMoveOrStayPut...?]

Actually this sounds like a charming, creative and adventuresome way to approach dating, admittedly a little over the top, but a pared down version would add to the experience I think.

Remember Sophie Neveu grows up to be quite the remarkable young woman for all the challenges, games and riddles her grandfather presents her in the DaVinci Code.

There's an idea, since the subject population is High School students place the invitation in a "Cryptex" with a series of clues given to open it. Fibonacci Sequences and Codes for the one's who excel in math and sciences, art questions, music, history, literature, etc. for individuals who have a talent or interest in any particular subject matter....

[Lamborgotti]

That's just how all of the school dances work, throughout all of Utah probably. Perhaps because students got bored of just asking, going to a sit down dinner with one person, etc.

Most of the techniques you mentioned seem pretty mild to me. The goal is to come up with something totally original, that will challenge whoever is being asked or answered. The ridiculous answer, in a way, is like payback for the ridiculous request. I've seen all sorts of different things used, from roosters to big piles of skittles stuck together with chocolate syrup (count: odd # = yes, even = no).

Most people go to dances in big groups (you said dating, but what you are describing is really only applicable to dances). The activity is something that usually has nothing to do with the dance, just a way to have fun in a big group beforehand. Sometimes it's watching a movie, sometimes it's go-carts, sometimes it's playing around in a gymnastics center with those big foam pits. It doesn't really matter, it's just something light-hearted and fun. I suspect this has become a tradition to give teens a way to have fun without alcohol, etc.

I wouldn't call it "over the top." Over the top is when students throughout the country spend thousands of dollars on the most expensive and outrageous clothing, mode of transportation, and venue. Unlike many of those dances, these things are just meant to be funny and enjoyable.

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by Lamborgotti

I wouldn't call it "over the top." Over the top is when students throughout the country spend thousands of dollars on the most expensive and outrageous clothing, mode of transportation, and venue. Unlike many of those dances, these things are just meant to be funny and enjoyable.

I've actually seen these creative ways of asking for a date to the prom be very, very expensive. I'm just glad my kids are older now!

[stycotl]

i never did any of that stuff. i just asked girls. i did have on girl use international code to ask me out once though. really confused me, because it looks similar to morse code, and i'd never heard of international code, so i wasn't translating it correctly.

[lolagranola]

It is cute & "charming" (especially for first dates)...but it is exhausting!

[Chango]

Originally Posted by lolagranola

I had never seen/heard of this before coming to Utah. My daughter has recently started dating, and we had had a 10th grade relative live with us for a year.

It seems you can't just ASK someone to the Prom (or Homecoming, or big event). You have to contrive a clever way to ask, preferably as a surprise. Some examples (most of which involve sneaking into their room):

-hang a door-sized poster asking them (especially if it is interactive...like w/flaps of the "who", also helpful to have candy bars glued to it)

-make a cake & decorate with the proposal

-dump shredded newspapers on their floor w/ the info mixed in

-fill their room w/balloons, one of the balloons have the question

-send flowers to them when they are in class

-decorate their car w/clues

THEN, the person asked has to respond. Guess what? They can't just CALL & say yay or nay...they have to respond in kind (see above for ideas!)

So the date is on...and now they need a date for their date. They can't just go alone, the two of them! No, that is for "losers" (so I'm told by teens)! They have to have a group.

Okay, now they have the group together. Now what are they going to do?? Just go on the date? No silly! There has to be "day activities"!! Which may involve:

-mini golf & sandwiches

-silly games at home or "night games"

-kids w/a parent who works for an airline have gone to Disney (geesh, not OUR group!)

Is it like this throughout Utah?? You tell me! We're in Davis Co, and this is VERY typical!! My daughter was appalled at the suggestion of just calling the guy to respond (and when they aren't expecting to be asked, it can take several days to respond)...and her friend wanted to go w/them to a dance earlier this year, but with only a week before the dance, didn't have time to go through the whole procedure & thought it in bad taste to ask him w/out all this!

Oh! There is VERY good news! This means that bedrooms need to be kept clean & presentable, because someone might be showing up unexpectedly!!

It's only a Utah thing?!