Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Food and Drink > Vegetarian and Vegan Food
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 11-21-2020, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Lake Huron Shores
2,227 posts, read 1,409,673 times
Reputation: 1758

Advertisements

I’m male, in my 30’s, and I believe in doing my part to protect the environment. And I have been vegetarian for a long time.
However, when I talk about the fact that I’m vegetarian, I always get teased by the server (in a somewhat mean way), or told by other guys sitting next to me I’m a disgrace among men...
Like, why is doing my part to help reduce my carbon footprint seen as “unmanly”. I just don’t get it. Doesn’t part of being “manly” involve respecting the environment around you ?

 
Old 11-22-2020, 06:30 AM
 
8,005 posts, read 7,245,786 times
Reputation: 18170
Brad Pitt, Woody Harrelson, Chris Martin, Mac Danzig, Steve-O, Anthony Kiedis, Bruce Springsteen, Hershel Walker, Samuel L. Jackson, Paul McCartney, Tom Cruise, Billy Idol, Bryan Adams, Ringo, Leonard Nimoy, Alec Baldwin, Jim Carrey, Bill Goldberg and Willem Dafoe, among others, would disagree with that characterization.
 
Old 11-22-2020, 08:07 AM
 
24,652 posts, read 11,001,272 times
Reputation: 47097
You are in your 30s and servers tease you "in a somewhat mean way"?
 
Old 11-22-2020, 08:10 AM
 
1,299 posts, read 825,270 times
Reputation: 5459
Why do you feel the need to announce your eating preference? I'm not a vegetarian, but sometimes a vegetarian or even vegan dish sounds delicious, so I order that. No one has ever asked if I have the correct orientation to order them.
 
Old 11-22-2020, 08:23 AM
 
3,287 posts, read 2,029,320 times
Reputation: 9033
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep2 View Post
You are in your 30s and servers tease you "in a somewhat mean way"?
I had the same question.

OP, is this at a strip bar or something?
 
Old 11-22-2020, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Lake Huron Shores
2,227 posts, read 1,409,673 times
Reputation: 1758
Quote:
Originally Posted by KemBro71 View Post
I had the same question.

OP, is this at a strip bar or something?
No, it was in a small town though. The waitress giggled at me, and not in a nice way. It was more of a demeaning giggle. I didn’t like that.
Given she was young (probably late teens) and this was small town Appalachia, she probably never saw a vegetarian man or was raised by family to view them as beta males. I was stopping for lunch during a road trip.
 
Old 11-22-2020, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Denver CO
1,406 posts, read 803,675 times
Reputation: 3328
Because you let them.

When the waitress giggles, you say "Something wrong with that?" (in a somewhat mean way). Hopefully she realizes that being rude and offending you will adversely affect her tip.

If other guys say something, you say "Do I give you a hard time about your food? No? Then how about show me the same courtesy", also in a somewhat mean way. I've used this line more than once, it shuts people up

Don't be meek or apologetic about it, but don't be obnoxiously loud and proud either.
 
Old 11-22-2020, 01:47 PM
 
337 posts, read 312,004 times
Reputation: 772
I don't doubt for a moment that you were criticized for being a male vegetarian, especially in rural appalachia. I have been, too, and I'm female, a more socially acceptable demographic.

It's just one of those double standards. Thanks for doing your part to better the environment, and your health, and for introducing new ideas to ignorant people. When meet with criticisms from others, just remind yourself what *your* reasons are for your lifestyle choices. It's nothing to do with them.

And from personal experience, I think a kind response is most effective. Something as simple as saying, "it works for me," with a smile. A hostile response just breeds more hostility.
 
Old 11-22-2020, 02:02 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,369 posts, read 18,981,518 times
Reputation: 75540
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrozenI69 View Post
No, it was in a small town though. The waitress giggled at me, and not in a nice way. It was more of a demeaning giggle. I didn’t like that.
Given she was young (probably late teens) and this was small town Appalachia, she probably never saw a vegetarian man or was raised by family to view them as beta males. I was stopping for lunch during a road trip.
But in your OP you claimed "always". Are you "always" getting what you interpret as demeaning giggles from waitresses while stopping for lunch on Appalachia road trips?

Why it matters what other people think about you being a vegetarian is a mystery. I know quite a few male vegetarians. They don't report people criticizing them for it, but I suspect that's because they don't pay much attention to what other people think.
 
Old 11-22-2020, 03:27 PM
Status: "Enjoying Little Rock AR" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
24,130 posts, read 32,547,176 times
Reputation: 68425
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrozenI69 View Post
I’m male, in my 30’s, and I believe in doing my part to protect the environment. And I have been a vegetarian for a long time.
However, when I talk about the fact that I’m vegetarian, I always get teased by the server (in a somewhat mean way), or told by other guys sitting next to me I’m a disgrace among men...
Like, why is doing my part to help reduce my carbon footprint seen as “unmanly”. I just don’t get it. Doesn’t part of being “manly” involves respecting the environment around you?
I agree with those who say that a hostile remark just breeds more hostility and I have no doubt that men are subjected to more hostility and sarcasm than women are.

It's a simple off-shoot of the idea that men should be tough, all men should know how to use a gun, and that hunting, whether for food or pleasure, is a male endeavor that ALL MEN should be able to do, and WANT to engage in.

Along with that idea is the idea that violence is somehow masculine, and men who don't think violence is not only acceptable but fun, are somehow feminine.

If I were you, I'd just come up with a stock answer. Don't speak about compassion. Leave that out of it. Stress the environment. Science. Protecting the planet. Even better, refrain from controversial conversations with strangers.

I find it hard to believe that every server you encounter would ridicule you. Most servers want one thing - good tips. Teasing a customer about anything is a bad way to go about that.

I currently don't eat at restaurants but I did frequently before COVID.

I specifically avoided ever using words like "vegetarian", "vegan" or even "pescatarian" because I never wanted to get any flack, and I also didn't want to encounter the wrath of a server or chef who may have a vested interest in the meat industry. I don't need snot in my soup. Or worse.

Restaurants do not want to be sued. They do not want anyone going into anaphylactic shock in their So restaurant. So rather than use those loaded words I just say "I am allergic to chicken (or whatever it might be) could you ask the cook if there is any chicken broth in the rice?"

I don't like to pi$$ off people who handle my food. It's just not never worth it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Food and Drink > Vegetarian and Vegan Food
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top