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Old 12-28-2010, 06:30 AM
 
311 posts, read 842,138 times
Reputation: 365

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladydlite View Post
I am a black woman who is interested in and open to dating outside my race in the DC area. However, I am never approached by men that aren't black. How can I come off as a little more approachable to non-black men?

All of my boyfriends have been black, but I have yet to meet a black man in this area worth my time and I am expanding my options. I do not need a lecture about that, fyi. I also do not spend all of my time in places or participate in activities that only cater to black people.
As an AA person who has friends who have married and/or dated outside of their race...I think this one sentence might be your problem right there. They met all of their mates at black events lol. Of course not the "ghetto, imma slap ya and bend ya over" type events but examples include black indie screenings, concerts, jazz bars, happy hours, wine tastings, etc, etc, etc...heck one of my gfs met her Asian husband at a black ski event and they still laugh about the fact both of them can't ski worth a d**n (granted he wasn't involved with the actual event itself but he was in the area and felt he all of a sudden needed to learn how to ski lol)....also keep in mind tiger's comment...oh all of them may not be at the actual concert itself but I'll bet you $100 they're gonna be at the bar next door or down the street and "pretend" they were just in the area....heck even ask your black male friends...I'm sure they got one white dude/guy of another race in their clique who is interested in black women

You gotta realize that most men of other races are kinda nervous to approach us but they do admire us, so where black people are they will be sure to mingle to at least appreciate the view....Also, alot of men of other races who like us DO love our culture so they want to be part of it and not mingling at the next happy hour with Becky and Tom.
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Old 12-28-2010, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Standing outside of heaven, wating for God to come and get me.
1,382 posts, read 3,706,624 times
Reputation: 536
What I don't support is Black men dating big ugly white women. I saw too much of that down south .

If Ahales ever dates a white woman (which will never happen), I am aiming for Angelina Jolie not Roseanne. I don't understand why brothers do that.
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Old 12-28-2010, 07:47 AM
 
56 posts, read 121,463 times
Reputation: 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger Beer View Post

White men, not so much. If you're a white guy openly trying to meet black women in a predominate black hangout, you're probably asking for trouble (unless you have an entourage of black males who'll have your back). For a white woman, this isn't an issue whatsoever.
I don't find this to be true at all. Whenever I hang out. There is always some white guy there. Nobody is there trying to "mess" with him. Even if he is talking to a Black woman.

I think you need to examine your circles, or what you consider a Black Hangout. I think you are probably talking about Ghetto locations.

Why would you want to date a Ghetto woman of any race.
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Old 12-28-2010, 08:22 AM
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690 posts, read 1,860,449 times
Reputation: 487
i don't know where any of you folks hang out. there are plenty of IR dating scenes in the dc area. two of my college buddies (white professional guys) are seriously dating black women. it's 2010, date who you want to date. most of the hip hop clubs in dc are owned by white guys. not sure what some of you were getting at with the whole white guys can't go to black events/clubs comment. clearly you must live out in the boonies with ideas like that.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:53 AM
 
572 posts, read 1,865,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger Beer View Post
I think its partially because white women are completely accepted in predominately black hangout spots. So, a white woman's social sphere is open significantly more than a white male.

White men, not so much. If you're a white guy openly trying to meet black women in a predominate black hangout, you're probably asking for trouble (unless you have an entourage of black males who'll have your back). For a white woman, this isn't an issue whatsoever.

If a white male meets an asian women, these types of issues generally don't exist. I mean, there are asian hangouts, but most asian women aren't exclusive to them, so a white male can meet an asian woman just about anywhere that he generally would go anyways.

In regards to reasoning why an asian woman might go for a white male. I think it's because they navigate the same worlds, and statistically there are more white males than asian males in those worlds...so therefore an asian girl's dating sphere is much greater if she's open to white males than if she's not.
Like another poster said, i've never experienced that myself. Honestly I think that's more of a fear thing, because black men don't care about white men picking up black women. Alot of white men have these preconceived notions of what is going to happen to them if they put themselves in an environment with all black people. It's like they're fearful that the black man is going to use this opportunity to "TAKE REVENGE!!!" or something like that.
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Old 12-28-2010, 03:40 PM
 
7,912 posts, read 7,760,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladydlite View Post
I have, several times actually, and I was turned down. Besides, shouldn't the man approach anyway?

Given todays times....no

I don't mean to open up a can of worms but some guys are getting sick of using pickup lines, sick of "the game", sick of constant pressure.

Women are the new pickup artists

the DC metro area actually has quite a bit more women than men (the opposites being SF and Alaska) Unfortunately what this means for women is there's more competition and thus waiting to be hit on might not be the most efficient choice.
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Old 12-28-2010, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Macao
16,265 posts, read 43,026,892 times
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Actually you guys are reassuring.

I'm the white guy who felt that white guys hanging out at black events is a bit odd.

Take in mind, I have never lived in DC. Most of my experience was with New York City. The times I went to popular black hangouts, they were always predominately black. Had one guy ask me if I was a sociologist studying black folk, and I just gave up going to them at all.

NYC is so diverse, that I always had the perception that black people who went to black hangouts simply only wanted to meet other black people - otherwise they'd be hanging out somewhere else, right? Being that DC city itself is not so diverse, and predominately black, I suppose there would be plenty of black hangouts, so other races in some of them is bound to be status quo.

I also will take back the perceived hostility that I might have thought I'd get if hitting black clubs. I'm projecting other places on to DC, without knowing DC.
Actually you guys are making me like DC quite a bit already

Also, I just want to add that I realized I was very attracted to black women after living in Brazil for 6 months. Beautiful black women everywhere down there! So, when I went back to the States, I moved to NYC partially because I knew there would be a lot of black women there, and just found the dynamics so different from down there. Take in mind, I was able to meet black women in NYC. But meeting them, the dynamics were completely different than Brazil. Brazil, you can meet them anywhere In the U.S., you actually have to 'strategize' or something, just completely different.

Keep the great thread alive! I will say to the OP - smiles ascend all colors! As a white guy, one of my biggest problems was trying to decipher who has no interest and who might have some interest. If I can read some interest somewhere, it made it a lot easier to show interest back!

Last edited by Tiger Beer; 12-28-2010 at 05:01 PM..
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Old 12-28-2010, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Washington D.C.
18 posts, read 29,375 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladydlite View Post
I am a black woman who is interested in and open to dating outside my race in the DC area. However, I am never approached by men that aren't black. How can I come off as a little more approachable to non-black men?

All of my boyfriends have been black, but I have yet to meet a black man in this area worth my time and I am expanding my options. I do not need a lecture about that, fyi. I also do not spend all of my time in places or participate in activities that only cater to black people.
You sound like the type of black girl I'm into. Too bad I'm black too! But basically I share your view point. I don't spend a lot of time participating in "black activities" either nore am I big on black culture in general. I have friends of every race and I'm open to dating all races provided they are attractive.

So I see where you are coming from. I think you are actually in the best city for Inter-racial dating outside of NYC. I see a lot of black women with white guys and non-black guys in this area (In fact I saw it today at the Columbia Heights Metro)

If you want to appeal to non-black guys.. you just have to go where they are and be interested in the things they are interested in. It doesn't hurt to strike up casual conversations with strangers either. Don't always wait for the men to do it.
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Old 12-28-2010, 08:33 PM
 
921 posts, read 1,129,131 times
Reputation: 1599
Quote:
Originally Posted by JClyde View Post
Why would you want to date a Ghetto woman of any race.
That's a good question.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:27 PM
 
Location: DMV
86 posts, read 241,224 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger Beer View Post
Actually you guys are reassuring.

I'm the white guy who felt that white guys hanging out at black events is a bit odd.

Take in mind, I have never lived in DC. Most of my experience was with New York City. The times I went to popular black hangouts, they were always predominately black. Had one guy ask me if I was a sociologist studying black folk, and I just gave up going to them at all.

NYC is so diverse, that I always had the perception that black people who went to black hangouts simply only wanted to meet other black people - otherwise they'd be hanging out somewhere else, right? Being that DC city itself is not so diverse, and predominately black, I suppose there would be plenty of black hangouts, so other races in some of them is bound to be status quo.

I also will take back the perceived hostility that I might have thought I'd get if hitting black clubs. I'm projecting other places on to DC, without knowing DC.
Actually you guys are making me like DC quite a bit already

Also, I just want to add that I realized I was very attracted to black women after living in Brazil for 6 months. Beautiful black women everywhere down there! So, when I went back to the States, I moved to NYC partially because I knew there would be a lot of black women there, and just found the dynamics so different from down there. Take in mind, I was able to meet black women in NYC. But meeting them, the dynamics were completely different than Brazil. Brazil, you can meet them anywhere In the U.S., you actually have to 'strategize' or something, just completely different.

Keep the great thread alive! I will say to the OP - smiles ascend all colors! As a white guy, one of my biggest problems was trying to decipher who has no interest and who might have some interest. If I can read some interest somewhere, it made it a lot easier to show interest back!

bro; white, black, martian, it all boils down to one thing when dealing with women...what's your "swag" like. NO woman wants a dude with low self confidence. has nothing to do with color and everything to do with self confidence. you wanna date black women, go and find you the baddest black woman out there. if she don't feel you or if black guys are hating on you, step your game up and get a better one lol. it is what it is.
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