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So far we've eliminated friends, work, what you do on the weekends, what we've done and what we're planning to do, from appropriate subjects of conversation...I guess there's still sports.
Sports? That's what people complain about that Midwesterns only talk about...
Minute I read this thread I figured the OP is from the South (college sports) or Midwest (pro and college sports). God forbid people talk about their friends!
I am new to this area and I can say that I have never lived in a place where people talk about their friends so much. When you meet people here, the first thing out of their mouth is "Who do you know here" or "What do you do on the weekend?" I've never had to field questions like this before with such shocking regularity. When I get together with these well-educated people that I work with, they always want to tell stories about the things they have done, or are planning to do, with their "friends." Though nobody ever seems to meet these mystery people. The phenomenon is very obvious and it seems surreal at times. My intuition is that DC is a magnet for well-educated, type A's who are very competitive and calculating and they are constantly trying to size people up to see what advantage they can squeeze out of them. In a manner characteristic of Machiavelli, the ubiquitous question seems designed to probe a person's exploitability: They'll let you into their circle if you pass the friend check, though at bottom this admission is to serve as a rung on the social ladder they aim to scale. It's just funny how these people act like they are riding the President's coattails when they are really just nerds who got this far because of their brainpower, not their social prowess. What gives here?
Interesting post. On one hand I totally disagree. You sound like you're accusing these people of lying. That's not nice. On the other hand I totally agree. There are people who ask you questions about yourself not because they're interested in you as a person but because they want to see who you know and how that can help them.
So let me tell you about my friend. LOL So my friend moved to DC and once people found out that he was a teacher they wanted nothing to do with him. However, eventually he did meet nice people and he has lots of fellow teacher friends. Teachers in DC are actually kinda fun.
DC is not the easiest place to make friends. However, because of the challenges my DC friendships are even more valuable.
With that said I tell a lot of stories about my friends down home. Not because of any ulterior motive but because I like to think of myself as a story teller. Sometimes the stories I tell involve me as the main character and sometimes I'm not the protagonist. As long as the audience is entertained and not misled that's what counts.
In DC, many 20-something people have a huge network of friends. I am not even a 20-something but I can make over a 100 new friends in Washington, DC in one year.
Wanna know how?
Say if you meet someone at a house party and you had a long conversation with the young lady. PING. You have a new friend. You might not ever speak with this person again--but you did manage to friend her on Facebook after the party. You might even posted a brief "Hi" on the wall page.
Fast forward weeks or months later. You are sitting at a bar enjoying your pint of beer after a long day at the office. You begin chatting up with the dude sitting next to you. During the conversation, you mention that you know this "friend" who does "this and that" and she has traveled to "here and there". This was the "friend" that you met at the house party weeks or months ago. Anyway, you have a long, semi-drunk conversation with the dude at the bar. You learn many things about him and about his background. PING. You have a new "friend".
You will probably never to speak with this guy EVER again. But he will come handy when you have to impress someone in the future. At your next cocktail party, you will say to some random person, "I know this buddy of mine who..."
That is how the bull shiitery works here in The District. So, no...most people living and working in DC do not have hundreds of friends or even a couple dozen. Everybody can count with one hand how many TRUE friends they have in the world.
Here's where we once again part ways itinérant. What's wrong with asking "what do you do on the weekends?" Did it ever occur to you that this person (particularly if you're of the opposite sex) might be trying themselves to that list of weekend activites.
When I lived in the area I found people talked more about their jobs ("Who do you work for? I work for . . ."). Some people, in all areas of the country, talk incessantly about their grandkids, their pets, the nusances of the football team they support, etc. You need to hang about less talkative people. The next time you're at a party and they start talking about their friends, just roll your eyes, say "I don't really care!," and you won't have to worry about that converstion continuing. You also won't be invited to many more parties, which should solve the problem.
Well, I like to talk about things I enjoy doing besides work and about places I'm interested in traveling to. I work for the most part so I can live the lifestyle I want.
In DC, many 20-something people have a huge network of friends. I am not even a 20-something but I can make over a 100 new friends in Washington, DC in one year.
Wanna know how?
Say if you meet someone at a house party and you had a long conversation with the young lady. PING. You have a new friend. You might not ever speak with this person again--but you did manage to friend her on Facebook after the party. You might even posted a brief "Hi" on the wall page.
Fast forward weeks or months later. You are sitting at a bar enjoying your pint of beer after a long day at the office. You begin chatting up with the dude sitting next to you. During the conversation, you mention that you know this "friend" who does "this and that" and she has traveled to "here and there". This was the "friend" that you met at the house party weeks or months ago. Anyway, you have a long, semi-drunk conversation with the dude at the bar. You learn many things about him and about his background. PING. You have a new "friend".
You will probably never to speak with this guy EVER again. But he will come handy when you have to impress someone in the future. At your next cocktail party, you will say to some random person, "I know this buddy of mine who..."
That is how the bull shiitery works here in The District. So, no...most people living and working in DC do not have hundreds of friends or even a couple dozen. Everybody can count with one hand how many TRUE friends they have in the world.
Uh... that's the way it works everywhere. Do you really think DC has a monopoly on Facebooking random acquaintances?
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