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I heard big cities like NYC/LA/Miami are kinda "party cities" and relatively easy to make a few buds and even meet some women. (in fact my dad met my mom in NYC in a coffee shop at my age (24). (my dad ain't the most attractive either he looks like George Costanza from Seinfeld but with hair lol).
Backstory:
So I am a 24 year old male and due to mental health issues/addiction and other factors I lived at home during uni. (DEEPLY regret that) Failed to make friends, go to parties, or even just casually date women despite having the best opportunity in my life (not sex but you know what I mean just mingle) and then COVID-19 separated me from my graduating class as well adding the final nail to the coffin. I know post-college your social life ends however I thought in your 20's most hetero guys were supposed to "be single and ready to mingle" and at least have some buddies. (why not save the social isolation when we are rotting in nursing homes as the underpaid nurse is wiping our asses lol its too early I feel my life has just begun!). Dark humor aside, It seems like people in my age group don't want to meet new people post-uni and only are friends with people they met in uni or date online (my dad did not even go to uni until he was 30 yet still had cool friends in NYC and was married to my mom when he was in uni).
This interaction between my mom and dad in a coffee shop would NEVER happen today lol (except maybe in big cities like NYC/LA.
*I am kinda in a nasty catch-22 I have no friends and can't make new ones without a pre-existing group I don't have.
*I tried meetup.com but its people as old as my parents! (isn't it reasonable for a hetero guy in his 20's to want to be around people around his age?)
*I tried bumble bff. (but it was just a closeted gay dude looking for a unanimous hookup lol)
*my job (manual labor) is a german sausage shack of 50 year old guys who talk about lawn mowers all day.
-realistically what are my options? I live in Maryland but a metro ride away from the city.
OR if a social life is important to me should I just move to NYC/LA? (despite my uni years being a train wreck under the grace of fate, I SOMEHOW managed to earn my degree).
We have to take demographics into account as well. I was born in the late 90's with a baby-bust so their are already few people my age and a fair amount of women my age are already married
I know there was a Welcome2DC group on Facebook, I would try that. There’s also things like Profs and Pints (not sure if it’s back up and running yet) which seemed to attract a younger crowd of nerds. In terms of meeting people and breaking into friend groups, DC/NYC/LA really have fairly similar challenges and opportunities IMO, so don’t think moving will make it any easier or harder. A lot of young people join casual sports leagues and stuff too, playing on the Mall after work, etc.
There’s always the happy hour crowd, but I get that meeting people in that form can be a tad more awkward. The one cool thing about DC is if you’re interested in a particular topic/field or have an alum, there is almost certainly a happy hour for that thing somewhere in the city.
This is at least the second account you have opened here- many on cd are old or married with kids
Since I am a mom i will share mom advice.
1. write a list of things you like; biking, drawing, volleyball, politics, singing,**** that gets you outta the apt and interacting with people but at a pace that doesnt overwhelm you.
2. find groups that do what you like and join those groups-example basketball league. Granted, your group may have elderly smelly old dudes in it however OGs have kids your age so we may be that link to future investment, future friendship, future life, future wife.
3. Invest in 3 things; Positivity, Patience and Prayer
When I muse over what kids hafta deal with now it makes me anxious. the Info Revolution is overwhelming to me.Then I remember my greatgrands who came over here in the 19th century and their grandkids born in the 40s did fine despite the Industrial Revolution. Same crap diff revolution I guess.
My social life ramped up post college so I'm not sure what you mean by social life ending after college. DC is a great place to live. If you're a drinker, go to bars in happening area for happy hours. All the friends I made in DC, I met either in the building/neighborhood I lived in or at bars out and about. I had an insane social life in DC. Meetups are hit or miss. There were two huge groups but the organizer decided he didn't want to do them anymore and no one picked them up after he left. The International Club of DC, Embassy events, Meetup, and going out for happy hours are good ways to meet people. Go to a ball game solo and hang out in the standing room section. Lots of peeps mingle and such in this setting. Women are all over the place in DC. Barcelona Wine Bar is where I had the most luck pulling. Social sports are big in DC too. Kickball is a lot of fun and you're sure to meet people your age.
You work manual labor in a food place? Is that just a provisional thing or is that the direction you're heading in? It's an important distinction as the white collar/blue collar distinction matters a lot in this area.
DC is definitely more geared towards white collar professions compared to blue collar. I never got the whole "what do you do?" question asked of me much but I can see it mattering to a lot of people. It just is what it is. People in DC tend to hang out with people they work with. It's really odd that people s**t where they eat, buts it's very common in DC. If you're working a blue collar job with older married men you should really just go out and venture solo. Happy hours, Meetups, online dating, etc. I had most of my luck just getting out and about. I wasn't in an industry in DC where I hung out with many peers. It runs rampant in DC as so many people work for law firms, non-profits, consultancies, etc. and tend to be friends and date within their own company. DC has a weird social dynamic in that regard. There is also the affordability aspect. There are some blue collar jobs that pay well, but you might struggle with the cost of going out in DC if you're not making decent money. Granted, young hill staffer and young educated white collar people might not be making a lot in DC but they usually come from middle-upper income families who help them pay for rent, going out, etc.
Seek laid back non- judgmental types, most government jobs you could learn through an apprenticeship unless its a very specific skill set like engineering or such. IT jobs can be sent to India, you need skill sets that can't be outsourced overseas like mechanic, police officer, fireman, registered nurse, plumber, electrician, HVAC, government jobs pay well because the taxpayers fit the bill, how else could you possibly make 75k a year with a degree in basket weaving unless you worked for the government?
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