Arlington is a closed, cliquish society (Seattle, Pacific: appointed, 2013, homes)

[NewKidInTown2013]

This is just my own observation since moving here at the beginning of the year. This area has a problem with anyone new, anyone who has not grown up here. In the neighborhood that I live in, I get along well with roughly half of my neighbors. The other half harass some of us, as well as our visitors. We can't even have friends over without fear of them being stopped and questioned about who they are going to see. When we've spoken with these neighbors we've gotten the same comments, "We don't know them, so we don't want them around here." What the heck is that?? Is that really how people think it's okay to act out here??? Wow, am I ever disappointed with Washington.

[RotseCherut]

Very bizarre.. I found Washington people closed and cliquish, but usually they are respectful and mind their own business at least.. That is very strange.. You are not a biker gang, bunch of loud hip-hop blasting gangster wannabees (or real gangbangers) or causing trouble?

If not, tell them to mind their own damn business and say you are an American citizen and you will defend your property and your friends and if they got a problem they can shove it.. I won't tolerate rude neighbors and most people in Pacific Northwest wouldn't either. Growing up here has given me that mentality. Don't let people push you around.

[cocaseco]

Originally Posted by NewKidInTown2013

This is just my own observation since moving here at the beginning of the year. This area has a problem with anyone new, anyone who has not grown up here. In the neighborhood that I live in, I get along well with roughly half of my neighbors. The other half harass some of us, as well as our visitors. We can't even have friends over without fear of them being stopped and questioned about who they are going to see. When we've spoken with these neighbors we've gotten the same comments, "We don't know them, so we don't want them around here." What the heck is that?? Is that really how people think it's okay to act out here??? Wow, am I ever disappointed with Washington.

Is that the extent of your "harassment"? Anything else?

This doenst really add up to me. Why would your friends stop, let alone answer? I know if I was visiting someone, I would never engage in that from people I dont know. Perhaps it is being dramaticly enhanced for effect?

[sequoias]

Originally Posted by NewKidInTown2013

This is just my own observation since moving here at the beginning of the year. This area has a problem with anyone new, anyone who has not grown up here. In the neighborhood that I live in, I get along well with roughly half of my neighbors. The other half harass some of us, as well as our visitors. We can't even have friends over without fear of them being stopped and questioned about who they are going to see. When we've spoken with these neighbors we've gotten the same comments, "We don't know them, so we don't want them around here." What the heck is that?? Is that really how people think it's okay to act out here??? Wow, am I ever disappointed with Washington.

Not all of Washington state residents are like that. You probably live in a crappy neighborhood of Arlington.

Try moving to somewhere with a more established neighborhood. Only downside is that it's more expensive.

[PS90]

Originally Posted by NewKidInTown2013

This is just my own observation since moving here at the beginning of the year. This area has a problem with anyone new, anyone who has not grown up here. In the neighborhood that I live in, I get along well with roughly half of my neighbors. The other half harass some of us, as well as our visitors. We can't even have friends over without fear of them being stopped and questioned about who they are going to see. When we've spoken with these neighbors we've gotten the same comments, "We don't know them, so we don't want them around here." What the heck is that?? Is that really how people think it's okay to act out here??? Wow, am I ever disappointed with Washington.

Many smaller towns, not just in Washington State, have people who are unwilling or unable to open-up to new people. This is especially true in Eastern Washington, on the East side of the Cascade foothills, because people are tired of people from Western Washington moving over there and trying to impose their values on the natives of that small town.

But your description sounds more like a scene from "The Colony" or "The Stepford Wives" - in other words, do you live in a gated community, and are finding that they won't let you leave...?

[sequoias]

Originally Posted by PS90

Many smaller towns, not just in Washington State, have people who are unwilling or unable to open-up to new people. This is especially true in Eastern Washington, on the East side of the Cascade foothills, because people are tired of people from Western Washington moving over there and trying to impose their values on the natives of that small town.

But your description sounds more like a scene from "The Colony" or "The Stepford Wives" - in other words, do you live in a gated community, and are finding that they won't let you leave...?

That's a possibility, never thought of that before. I do notice that in small towns.

[sean98125]

There are parts of Arlington where meth is a concern. Sounds like your neighbors are concerned about it happening in their area, or that it already has happened and they are keeping an eye out.

[Baldy]

I've lived all over the world and have found most people "closed and cliquish". People tend to have their own lives, families, friends, jobs, problems, homes, history, and fears. I expect nothing else. To be honest, I don't like a lot of personality types and avoid them like a head cold. The times people were overly friendly to the me-the-stranger, they usually wanted something. People are people.

When I do settle in town, I'm protective of it. It's my home.

[Blondebaerde]

Arlington: definitely a town juuuuust far enough, or close enough, to have a bit of the "Seattle metro migration" going on. Yet still be a small town, in the end.

I've noticed it's worse in Russia: when they first meet you, they want you dead. Comes from being sacked multiple times by (French, Germans, others).

Get on the "inside", they are fine and generous. Like people everywhere. So there is more to it, then. Call it big city vs. small village, world-over.

Humans are tribal, not sure why that isn't taught explicitly in schools (outside of college-level anthropology). Probably because it doesn't fit the "narrative" that we should always and everywhere be "diverse". Go outside of a "village" size group, we every single time start up that "us vs. them" mentality. And in some cases (many, throughout a violent history) declare war on said-neighbors.

We are behaviorally and genetically incapable of thinking too far outside of an extended family (or small group of families) mentality without engaging the thinking, reasoning side of the brain...not so easy to do.

Smaller towns exacerbate the behavior, because historically there were fewer people to keep an eye on: lowers the risk level. Outsiders were justifiably viewed with deep suspicion. Getting into others' business is a survival mechanism. The British said of Americans, century or two ago: "Never have such a people tried so hard to create and belong to societies, clubs, and organizations. It's in their nature to organize socially."

The above is only changing significantly past fifty years or so. Habits die hard. Inevitable, in the rise of both urbanization and the Information Age.

To the latter point: these days, that isn't tolerated by some of us (getting into others' business). I wouldn't tolerate it, either, but I've always lived in cities or suburbia where anonymity is the norm.

And the behavior does seem a bit odd for Washington in particular, with our Libertarian and Conservative mindset outside of bigger cities.

[RotseCherut]

I've lived all over the Pacific Northwest, from the deepest backwood redneck/hillbilly town to the most cosmopolitan , liberal (so-called progressive) cities and I have never experienced this phenomenon as the OP. However, I do know if you are giving off bad vibes, like are loud, obnoxious, drunk, drug-dealing or in general an a-hole to the neighbors, you may experience something like this. I am giving the OP the benefit of the doubt. As I know there are jerks all over and he may have just moved to a neighborhood with some very bad apples.