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Old 08-08-2012, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,349 posts, read 6,004,997 times
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I am attending my first ever Wedding Shower. A close friend of mine has decided she would like both sexes present. I am a little confused and weirded out by the whole thing. Anyone ever attend one? I assume I still buy a gift, any ideas for what?

I found this online:
Couple Showers: The BasicsTheKnot.com -
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Old 08-08-2012, 02:05 PM
 
Location: NoVa
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I've never been to nor heard of one, but I like the idea...

Last edited by Pikantari; 08-08-2012 at 02:35 PM..
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Old 08-08-2012, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5 View Post
I am attending my first ever Wedding Shower. A close friend of mine has decided she would like both sexes present. I am a little confused and weirded out by the whole thing. Anyone ever attend one? I assume I still buy a gift, any ideas for what?
Couples showers are sort of a new thing. The point of a wedding shower is to "shower" the new couple with gifts for their new life and home together. I'd ask around to see if they're registered someplace (usually Bed Bath and Beyond or Target or Macy's,) and you buy something from their list. Then you show up, eat some cake, and watch people open presents. It's not unlike a birthday party.
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Old 08-08-2012, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Palm Beach Gardens, Fla
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I've been to several. There's a difference between the wedding shower and the bachelor/bachelorette parties. It's a good idea to bring cash gifts or couples gifts (i.e. household items etc.) to the shower. It's not usual that a couple would have both parties. Most have one or the other. You can save the raunchy gifts for the individual parties.
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Old 08-08-2012, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Tower Grove East, St. Louis, MO
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We had a co-ed shower and they'e not weird at all. It was about 2 1/2 hours -- we ate, we drank wine, we chatted and then whoever was interested watched us open presents while the others continued to chat.

You can go to theknot.com and use their registry search functionality to see if the couple is registered at any of the normal haunts, which include Crate and Barrel, Macy's, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond etc.
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Old 08-09-2012, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Chicago
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Thank you all for the advice! It turns out they are registered at Target. I can't help but feel like this is some sort of way to get more gifts than normal... I don't like the idea, not at all. Im not dating someone who would have gone regardless, I'm going solo. Goofy for sure...
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:07 AM
 
652 posts, read 990,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5 View Post
Thank you all for the advice! I can't help but feel like this is some sort of way to get more gifts than normal... I don't like the idea, not at all. Im not dating someone who would have gone regardless, I'm going solo. Goofy for sure...
Of course it is an attempt to get more gifts than normal..that is what a shower is....a gift grab.

As a woman I've always thought the traditions of showers has morphed into something a bit excessive. The original shower tradition was more of a small intimate gathering to help a woman who probably had lived with her parents get started with forming a household of her own.

Guys are lucky they can escape most of this silliness....but in your case, not so much.
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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Quote:
As a woman I've always thought the traditions of showers has morphed into something a bit excessive. The original shower tradition was more of a small intimate gathering to help a woman who probably had lived with her parents get started with forming a household of her own.
Right, back in the day both bride and groom probably lived with their parents, and actually needed to set up a household. Now, most either live on their own or with each other, so even though they already have a vacuum cleaner and towels they have a shower out of tradition. I'm single and joke with my married friends that they all owe me linens. Where are my towels, people?
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Tower Grove East, St. Louis, MO
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As long as you don't plan your own shower, which is a huge etiquette no no, I fail to see how it's a gift grab.

And the idea of it being a gift grab is kind of silly anyway -- if there isn't a shower I, and pretty much everyone else I know, just gives a larger wedding gift.
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Old 08-09-2012, 11:18 AM
 
652 posts, read 990,771 times
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Well in this case the bride decided to include both genders(thus more gifts)...so yeah that is placing the expectation that more people will buy you gifts.

I have mixed feelings about showers when there are multiple showers or super large guest lists. I usually get a few shower invites a year from people connected to my spouses side of the family. Often it takes me a minute or two to figure out how I even know the person. Usually the showers are out of town. So yeah, those are most definitely gift grabs.

Call me the scrooge of the bridal shower world.
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