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09-25-2012, 01:17 PM
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Status:
"There are better things ahead than behind. CS Lewis"
(set 8 days ago)
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Location: Wonderland
65,087 posts, read 54,437,634 times
Reputation: 96077
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I'm just curious about different opinions and here's why:
When my husband and I got married seven years ago, he bought me a nice ring. We both are bargain hunters, and I actually PREFER that we buy our jewelry from a coin and jewelry exchange source we have - partly because I love vintage jewelry, and partly because I hate being ripped off by retail jewelry stores. I bought his wedding band, which cost about 1/3 of the cost of my ring -the diamond on my ring is why there was such a price difference. Even so, I would categorize my ring as "modest." I simply don't want a huge, pretentious rock on my hand - I don't want people wondering if it's real, and I don't want to get knocked over the head for it either.
Now, my husband and I are at a different stage in our lives, more comfortable financially, and we both recently "upgraded" our rings -with the same jewelry dealer. I love my new vintage ring, which is from the 1930s! Without going into detail, I will just say that I looked up the quality/size/clarity/cut of the diamond, and it would retail for nearly three times what we paid for it - just for the center stone. The whole setting would be even more. It's good to have friends in the business!
Like I said, I LOVE it. Well, my husband told a friend that he had bought me a new ring, and his friend said, "My wife wants to upgrade too. The ring she is looking at is about $8000." I think that guy is actually going to buy his wife that ring - and they've been married for about two years. My husband and I were shocked.
I also had one of my best friends tell me, "You had your opportunity! You should have gone for a bigger stone!" When I asked her bluntly what her ring cost and what size it was, she told me 2 carats - and that her wedding set had cost $16,000!!!!!
WHAT THE HECK!!!! Am I really this out of touch with reality? I LOVE my ring, and wouldn't have another one, but this got me to wondering - are most people spending this much on rings??????
How do you determine what is appropriate to spend on such rings and sets?
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09-25-2012, 01:21 PM
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Location: NW San Antonio
2,980 posts, read 9,466,541 times
Reputation: 3332
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Your checkbook. Pretentious people put value in such stuff. The ring is a symbol, not what the relationship is worth. the least expensive the ring, normally the more relaionship there is.
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09-25-2012, 01:25 PM
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Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 40,983,691 times
Reputation: 42718
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Two of my husband's older sisters wear very large diamond rings, easily a couple of carats. I know one was bought at Tiffany, I've read that $10K is reasonable for a one-carat soletaire from there, and I think larger stones are exponentially more expensive if they are quality. So their rings each probably cost more than my car. Yeah, it's weird. Chalk it up to different values. Some people like jewelry, some don't. My wedding ring was lost more than eight years ago, and we never bought a new one. It cost less than $1000. The gold would probably be worth more than the diamond now.
My husband still has his gold band, although he doesn't wear it either. It's in my jewelry box, and now and then I take it out and wear it on my thumb for a week or so.
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09-25-2012, 01:25 PM
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Location: NY metro area
7,796 posts, read 15,871,104 times
Reputation: 10799
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sinsativ
Your checkbook. Pretentious people put value in such stuff. The ring is a symbol, not what the relationship is worth. the least expensive the ring, normally the more relaionship there is.
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09-25-2012, 01:28 PM
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Location: NY metro area
7,796 posts, read 15,871,104 times
Reputation: 10799
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
I'm just curious about different opinions and here's why:
When my husband and I got married seven years ago, he bought me a nice ring. We both are bargain hunters, and I actually PREFER that we buy our jewelry from a coin and jewelry exchange source we have - partly because I love vintage jewelry, and partly because I hate being ripped off by retail jewelry stores. I bought his wedding band, which cost about 1/3 of the cost of my ring -the diamond on my ring is why there was such a price difference. Even so, I would categorize my ring as "modest." I simply don't want a huge, pretentious rock on my hand - I don't want people wondering if it's real, and I don't want to get knocked over the head for it either.
Now, my husband and I are at a different stage in our lives, more comfortable financially, and we both recently "upgraded" our rings -with the same jewelry dealer. I love my new vintage ring, which is from the 1930s! Without going into detail, I will just say that I looked up the quality/size/clarity/cut of the diamond, and it would retail for nearly three times what we paid for it - just for the center stone. The whole setting would be even more. It's good to have friends in the business!
Like I said, I LOVE it. Well, my husband told a friend that he had bought me a new ring, and his friend said, "My wife wants to upgrade too. The ring she is looking at is about $8000." I think that guy is actually going to buy his wife that ring - and they've been married for about two years. My husband and I were shocked.
I also had one of my best friends tell me, "You had your opportunity! You should have gone for a bigger stone!" When I asked her bluntly what her ring cost and what size it was, she told me 2 carats - and that her wedding set had cost $16,000!!!!!
WHAT THE HECK!!!! Am I really this out of touch with reality? I LOVE my ring, and wouldn't have another one, but this got me to wondering - are most people spending this much on rings??????
How do you determine what is appropriate to spend on such rings and sets?
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I don't think most couples spend that kind of money on their rings, but it's not outlandish, at least not where I'm from.
If a couple has the means and want to, then why not? |
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09-25-2012, 01:31 PM
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11,865 posts, read 16,344,538 times
Reputation: 20070
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When I got engaged a couple of years back we got my ring for about 500. I chose it. I rarely wore it since jewelry is not my thing.
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09-25-2012, 01:41 PM
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601 posts, read 735,552 times
Reputation: 368
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hmm depends how much she spend on mine. Thing is, i will never ask a girl to marry me or kneel on one knee. Thats degrading in my opinion. If she wants to marry me she should have no problem asking me herself.
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09-25-2012, 01:41 PM
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10,024 posts, read 10,485,704 times
Reputation: 5941
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I've never given this much thought since I've always assumed I'd never marry but jewelry has never been a big deal with me. This might sound weird but I would be kind of upset if he bought a cheap ring, especially if it's because he has no money due to other people like exes. Also, I'd expect the same amount of ring or more expensive if he has been previously engaged or married so if he spent say $1,000 on his ex's ring I'd expect the same or more. Sounds horrible but I have a history of being shorted by men so I now expect the same. Now say he's never been married or ever bought a ring before I wouldn't care, as long as it looked like a ring. I may want to go with him and pick out a ring because I have a preference for certain types (I would like one with garnets as well because it's my birthstone). I'd expect him to pay.
For wedding bands I would just want something relatively cheap and I would hope to get matching ones and we would buy them together and both pay together I suppose.
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09-25-2012, 01:45 PM
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629 posts, read 1,205,041 times
Reputation: 454
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Personally I'd rather save for a home we can share together. I didn't pay nearly as much for my wifes engagement ring but I was still eating sandwiches for a month to restock my funds  I believe the "rule" is 2 or 3 months pay which for me was about what I paid. I had the ring made specially for her and she didn't know until I asked her (ballsy, I know  ) She said the ring is perfect and people always ask if we bought it together. Then they get surprised when she says I bought it on my own. I don't understand the whole buy as a pair thing. Where's the surprise? What now? Does she wait for you to do it? Now she's expecting so what does she feel when she gets the obvious? To me the ring a man chooses should reflect how he feels (no, not the price). For example mine was a suttle unique beautiful. Traits I feel my wife displayed. I knew her enough to know she'd love it and that's exactly why I married her  .
Btw she has no idea how much I spent nor does she push me for the value. |
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09-25-2012, 01:45 PM
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496 posts, read 906,293 times
Reputation: 418
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I read an etiquette generated estimate some time ago. It suggested that the engagement ring be 10 - 20% of the proposer's annual salary. Maybe this conveys that the proposer is financially ready for marriage in that they're not living paycheck to paycheck and that the object of the proposal is valuable, but seriously? It seems pretty materialistic and archaic to me.
Personally, I think my engagement ring was perfect not because of what it cost, but because I can tell that a lot of thought went into the style - white gold with a modestly sized princess cut diamond. It didn't cost 10 - 20% of my SO's salary, thank god. And the wedding rings we have looked at will be even less, again not because they're unaffordable, but because the styles we like are happily cheaper. That's the thing, though. I do think the ring should match the person. If someone has a taste for expensive jewelry and they have enough to spend, then I would expect someone to spend more on it, within their means, of course.
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