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I'm not trying to play morality queen here but this has always just irked me.
I think of marriage as wanting to be tied to the person you love. The wedding is nice and fun and grand but it's not the most important thing.
Recently in reading about Jessica Simpson I archived to when she was first pregnant and she gave the waiting until the baby is born to lose the baby weight to "get married" and I hear this a lot and it always just seems like an excuse to want the wedding over the actual marriage.
I mean do you want to marry this person or do you want to have a wedding with this person.
I hear the oh we don't have the money to get married right now. Um, most people do. You're buying baby stuff, you live together pay rent, go out to eat, get pampered at the nail shop and stuff. All you have to do is go to the courthouse $120 max, maybe $200 and in 20 minutes call it a married day. Then later have the wedding when you do have the money.
Aren't most really saying "I'm waiting because I want the white wedding and not so much the marriage"
I mean if it's religious reasons and wanting to get married in a church you can go in a church any day or the week and get married in the sanctuary. No minister would begrudge you of that. You just give a love token to the church same as the JOP and call it a married day.
But the "oh we don't have the money to get married *stretch that* have a wedding right now seems like such a bad excuse. Am I the only one who always thinks it's about the wedding and not the actual marriage when that excuse is given?
I have a acquaintance who's super Christian who got pregnant in college at 21. She dropped out, came home, they got married over a holiday break in a simple ceremony at his parents house and after the break he went back to school to finish his degree. A year later they had the HUGE shindig wedding. They/their parents just wanted them married before the baby was born and I talked to her and she said she just wanted to be married. The wedding came later. They had no money, both still lived at home but they didn't have the "oh we're poor college kids so we're gong to wait to get married" no they waited to get wedding, they got married quick.
I don't care what people do but do people feel they'll be looked badly at if they just be honest and say they're waiting so they can have a wedding rather than getting married? I mean I think MOST people read between the glass lines and see that they're basically saying that in code anyway just not point blank. Right?
I'm just curious on how many actually do this and mean the wedding. I think it's 90% of the time because like I said, go to the courthouse or a regular church or even your own church (ministers if it's your church will do it for you). Catholics don't count because I know they have to have the premarital classes and stuff but most who give this excuse aren't Catholic and have restrictions and classes and stuff before getting married by a clergy.
See, with Jessica Simpson I think she looked at Ashlee. Ashlee got pregnant by Pete Wentz at what 23? Papa Joe made him put a ring on it and they turned out a wedding shindig in a few days and the marriage fell apart because they shouldn't have been married in the first place.
I think with her ex-NFL Kevin Federline, Jessica wasn't completely sure about him so she waited that way he still doesn't have a hold on her money.
But for regular people though they don't have that problem.
I think with her ex-NFL Kevin Federline, Jessica wasn't completely sure about him so she waited that way he still doesn't have a hold on her money.
That was Britney Spears. ^^^
Many girls these days have been conditioned by TV to expect a royal wedding, with themselves as the "star" and center of attention, so I think they mean they want to wait for the wedding THEY WANT. That usually does not include a JOP or pregnant bride.
A wedding and a marriage are completely different, but obviously marriage and why you would get married mean different things to different people. Traditionally a wedding was supposed to be a ceremony joining two families, not a runway showing off the bride.
Marriage is really all about commitment and a a lot of people like the benefits of living together without making a lifetime commitment. It seems to be the norm these days.
I'm not trying to play morality queen here but this has always just irked me.
I think of marriage as wanting to be tied to the person you love. The wedding is nice and fun and grand but it's not the most important thing.
Recently in reading about Jessica Simpson I archived to when she was first pregnant and she gave the waiting until the baby is born to lose the baby weight to "get married" and I hear this a lot and it always just seems like an excuse to want the wedding over the actual marriage.
I mean do you want to marry this person or do you want to have a wedding with this person.
I hear the oh we don't have the money to get married right now. Um, most people do. You're buying baby stuff, you live together pay rent, go out to eat, get pampered at the nail shop and stuff. All you have to do is go to the courthouse $120 max, maybe $200 and in 20 minutes call it a married day. Then later have the wedding when you do have the money.
Aren't most really saying "I'm waiting because I want the white wedding and not so much the marriage"
I mean if it's religious reasons and wanting to get married in a church you can go in a church any day or the week and get married in the sanctuary. No minister would begrudge you of that. You just give a love token to the church same as the JOP and call it a married day.
But the "oh we don't have the money to get married *stretch that* have a wedding right now seems like such a bad excuse. Am I the only one who always thinks it's about the wedding and not the actual marriage when that excuse is given?
I have a acquaintance who's super Christian who got pregnant in college at 21. She dropped out, came home, they got married over a holiday break in a simple ceremony at his parents house and after the break he went back to school to finish his degree. A year later they had the HUGE shindig wedding. They/their parents just wanted them married before the baby was born and I talked to her and she said she just wanted to be married. The wedding came later. They had no money, both still lived at home but they didn't have the "oh we're poor college kids so we're gong to wait to get married" no they waited to get wedding, they got married quick.
I don't care what people do but do people feel they'll be looked badly at if they just be honest and say they're waiting so they can have a wedding rather than getting married? I mean I think MOST people read between the glass lines and see that they're basically saying that in code anyway just not point blank. Right?
I'm just curious on how many actually do this and mean the wedding. I think it's 90% of the time because like I said, go to the courthouse or a regular church or even your own church (ministers if it's your church will do it for you). Catholics don't count because I know they have to have the premarital classes and stuff but most who give this excuse aren't Catholic and have restrictions and classes and stuff before getting married by a clergy.
Jessica Simpson's situation looks like a hot mess anyways. For one, she picked a guy with no career aspirations to speak of and then got pregnant by this 'winner' twice AND they aren't even married.....
So aside from her: I'm not sure why you think it's an excuse for any woman. Majority of women that want to get married, prefer to do that when they are looking their best (especially a celebrity) who is going to be photographed and printed all over the place. During pregnancy isn't usually considered your 'best,' so it would make sense to wait until the baby is born and when you feel you look your best. With the emphasis men put on women's looks, you think most pregnant women feel beautiful and sexy? No. It has nothing at all to do with wanting the wedding more then the marriage. I don't know if you're a man or a woman but that sounds more like something that's about you. People could wear blue jeans and tee shirts to get married -- but who wants to?
Sounds like your acquaintances got married because they got pregnant. Were they already engaged? Obviously it has to be so because otherwise she would not be dropping out of college.
I really don't terribly care what Hollywood does.
I was engaged a few years, had my son, and still was unsure about being married. After 4 years of engagement and a 1 year old we finally got married, at his insistence. When are we gonna get married? When are we gonna get married? That was all I ever heard. I stood at the altar asking myself what I was doing.
I am a Christian now but I wasn't then. We had a small church wedding and I didn't care to have a lot of money spent, and it wasn't. I guess every one has their own reason for doing whatever they do. For the most part I had a miserable life with him.
People do what they do. Sounds like your friends were making themselves "honest" to me. Not to judge, but she may not have been what you call "super" Christian if they were doing the deed out of wedlock.
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