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Old 01-06-2015, 12:13 PM
 
5 posts, read 5,593 times
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I have a question regarding what I should be expected to pay for when I invite my boyfriend of 3 years to an out of town wedding for my cousin. Certainly I would not expect him to help with the gift but I would think that he could help with the accommodations. Since we are driving (6 hours from home) the expense for travel I could cover. He is usually a generous person but keeps hinting to me that since I invited him then I need to pay for everything. He isn't poor either, I think it's just principal for him. If it were that easy for me to do financially I would but we are staying in a big city and even with the discounted rate for two nights is still over $430. I want him to go but thinking of 'letting him off the hook' and splitting the room with another one of my family members to try to cut the expense for the room. This would also cut down on the gift and the food. I'm just wondering on some thoughts on this... thanks!
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:32 PM
 
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Is the discounted rate a group rate for the bride and groom at a specific hotel? I'd check out other hotel rates and options if $430 isn't reasonable for you to spend. Since you're driving, you have the freedom to pick another place, even if it's just outside the city, if it saves $.

The only way you're going to deal with this is through communication with your BF, actual words, not hints and unspoken expectations. After 3 years together you should be able to do that.
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:33 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
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Boyfriend, right?
He is accompanying you to your relative's wedding; you should pay.

Does he even WANT to go?
What's up with "hinting"? Do you not talk outright?
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Chicago
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I think you need to talk to your bf. Maybe he just doesn't want to go. If you can't afford to pay for the room then I'd tell him you're going to split a room with a family member and he is off the hook. I wonder if money is just his way of telling you that he would rather not go though.
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
I'd check out other hotel rates and options if $430 isn't reasonable for you to spend. Since you're driving, you have the freedom to pick another place, even if it's just outside the city, if it saves $.
The problem with this is I would be driving with my sister and her husband, so staying somewhere else isn't an option since they are staying at that hotel.

I think I should just propose for him not come; that may indeed be the crux of what's going on. I guess it just bothers me that he seems unwilling to help even though he knows it won't be easy for me financially and he's always saying that he wants to "take care" of me. If it were me, I would NEVER expect for my whole weekend to be covered.
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Old 01-06-2015, 01:03 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krisgrey1 View Post
The problem with this is I would be driving with my sister and her husband, so staying somewhere else isn't an option since they are staying at that hotel.
Sure it is.
You drop them off then continue to your hotel.
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Old 01-06-2015, 01:06 PM
 
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They are driving and would expect that I cover half the cost of the ride as well as $40 a day to park the car at the hotel.
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Old 01-06-2015, 01:11 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
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Okay... then they drop you off!
You seemed to be making it more difficult than necessary....
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Old 01-06-2015, 01:13 PM
 
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I'm not going to stay by myself in some hotel outside of the city and expect them to come fight traffic to pick me up and drop me back off each night after the festivities...
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Old 01-06-2015, 01:24 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 42,056,751 times
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:::shaking head:::
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