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Old 07-24-2015, 08:01 AM
 
Location: NE FL
1,559 posts, read 2,151,144 times
Reputation: 1375

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This goes back a few years but I need to contact a "friend" (Tom) whom I did not send a wedding gift to when he got married so I thought I would get everyone's feed back. He played poker with me and my friends for a number of years and some of us became good friends.

Here's the back story:

My wife and I were married in 9/2013. We invited "Tom plus a guest" but he was out of town and could not attend. He promptly sent me a card and a check for $100.

Fast forward to 1/2014: We receive a save a date from Tom for his wedding in 6/2014 (as did others in my poker crew). Months go by and no invitation. As a matter of fact, none of my friends in my "poker crew" who received a save a date received an invitation. His wedding date arrived and one of my friends decided to text and ask him why we weren't invited. He simply replied: "I haven't spoken to you guys in a while..."

Given this scenario, was I obligated to give Tom a gift?
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Old 07-24-2015, 08:30 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,590 posts, read 47,660,494 times
Reputation: 48261
Not obligated at all.
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Old 07-24-2015, 01:47 PM
 
1,761 posts, read 2,098,609 times
Reputation: 3665
No, not at all.
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Old 07-24-2015, 03:49 PM
 
109 posts, read 141,863 times
Reputation: 70
You should not have received a save the date if there wasn't any intention of inviting you. You're not obligated.
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Old 07-26-2015, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,391 posts, read 30,928,953 times
Reputation: 16643
Not only are you not obligated, you most definitely should NOT give a gift. The behavior he showed is classless.
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Old 07-26-2015, 02:46 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,572 posts, read 81,167,557 times
Reputation: 57803
I agree that you have no obligation to give a gift, but would not condemn him for not inviting you either. With two of my kids married now, I have become well aware of the bride and her family controlling the guest list. When it comes down to the maximum number of people to fit the venue, and the maximum budget for guests, the groom's family and friends always end up with the short end of the stick.
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Old 07-26-2015, 02:58 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,167,496 times
Reputation: 32726
No.
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Old 07-26-2015, 06:07 PM
 
3,850 posts, read 4,152,762 times
Reputation: 7867
Wow, that's just...wow. No gift.
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Old 08-08-2015, 12:06 PM
 
1,500 posts, read 2,901,711 times
Reputation: 3608
Quote:
Originally Posted by smithsl5 View Post
You should not have received a save the date if there wasn't any intention of inviting you. You're not obligated.
Seriously, why did they send a Save the Date? What were you supposed to save it for?

I know... have an AWESOME poker night instead with all the other people he so rudely did not invite.
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Old 03-20-2016, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Europe
1,646 posts, read 3,487,681 times
Reputation: 1163
I never understand why people send save dates and then they don't invite you.
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