Someone asking you if they can borrow your dress... (husband, date, guy)
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What would you say if someone asked to borrow your wedding dress for their wedding?
A friend that I haven't really seen or heard from much since my wedding in June just got engaged. She is getting married to her high school sweetheart, 13 years later. They broke up back then and he always would have married her in a minute if that is what she wanted. As long as I've known her, she has dated guys, moved in too soon, argued with them, gotten violent with each, and then had to scramble to find a place to live. I've seen that play out about four times in the past three years.
The guy is nice, I like him a lot! He would come visit and help the new guy out when she would fly off the handle.
She just announced after two weeks of re-dating, they're engaged. And she wants to know if she can borrow my dress. For a while, prior to my wedding, she stopped answering my texts because my husband is best friends with her cousin that she had a falling out with and so she just ignored me.
I am having these weird feelings about it knowing the situation. I know anyone else can buy my dress - it is for sale at one of the biggest dress distributors in the country. I feel like if a bunch of factors were changed - I wouldn't mind if someone borrowed it. It's just a dress, I guess?
Yeah - I think I am trying to reconcile if this is actually "good use." LOL! Maybe it was listening to all of her crying, "Is THAT what I have to settle for?!"
I dunno! I feel like that is my biggest hang up in being like, "Sure! borrow it!" (that and my own wedding was only like 4 months ago so I still see it is "mine" in a selfish way)
My mind is trying to reconcile it. I don't want to be selfish, but I still view it as mine since we haven't had an anniversary yet! LOL! It is the most expensive item of clothing I have ever bought myself.
I think - what if it gets ruined? Drinks spill, dance floors are dirty, nobody takes care of your things like you do. do I want to take that chance?
It also seems like this person is able to contact me to ask me for a favor, but not much lately in the terms of friendship since I do not hate her cousin like she does. I am not on anyone's side!
But on one hand, it is beautiful and lovely and already bustled.
Sounds like she only contacts when SHE needs to... I'd tell her what Wms said -- I had it preserved... and I think you're perfectly within your rights to do so. If a friend of mine complained about another friend not giving her her wedding dress four months out to use, I know who I'D think badly of, and it wouldn't be you.
Personally, I think it would depend on (A) how close I was to that person and (B) that person's financial situation. If buying their own dress would be completely out of reach financially then I would feel a lot more inclined to share than I would if they were just trying to save a few bucks.
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I feel like if a bunch of factors were changed - I wouldn't mind if someone borrowed it. It's just a dress, I guess?
