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Old 01-09-2016, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,118,175 times
Reputation: 22275

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Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
Engagement ring is the hidden marriage tax that's all. While guys just want to get it over with so we can pick something more important like a down payment to a house.

That's what I did, told my wife back then I have money for either house or ring and honeymoon. She picked house. Eventually we got a ring and mini honeymoon.

You did what was right for you and your wife. My husband and I were not even close to buying a house at that point in time and he spent what he felt like he could afford to spend on my engagement ring. He did what was right for us. There are no absolute rights and wrongs when it comes to this - each couple should do what is best for them.
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Old 01-09-2016, 02:02 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,964,469 times
Reputation: 13949
I haven't ever thought about engagement rings. Time and again, the overwhelming majority of women I've met and know are not worth the thought of purchasing one.
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Old 01-09-2016, 03:50 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,849,639 times
Reputation: 24135
My friend had insisted on a huge engagement ring and loved it...until she had kids. It kept scratching her kids, pulling hair, etc. And then her priorities changed money wise. They ended up selling their very overly expensive wedding ring sets and put the money in savings. I think they did buy cheaper replacements.

Hubby and I had no choice but be very restrained when buying our rings. We were super broke when we got married. My engagement ring was a simple band. Its all we could afford. And our wedding rings were also simple bands. I think we spent $200 each...if that. I am glad because mine got stolen after 10 years of marriage. We both almost always wear our rings (I had the bad luck of taking off my ring that day and leaving it home because I was going to be super active and it was slipping some and we had a big break in that day). I replaced mine with a $30 ring I got off amazon. It looks close to the same.

On the other hand, my husband LOVES to buy me jewelry. If he had the ability, he would have spent a ton on it...and I would have been mad. I have banned him from buying me jewelry ever again. I don't like it.
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Old 01-09-2016, 04:06 PM
 
Location: WA
1,448 posts, read 1,931,882 times
Reputation: 1516
I think expensive engagement rings are slightly stupider than marriage itself.
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Old 01-09-2016, 04:06 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,927,258 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
That's why marriages are down. The reality is the push for equality has to be a balancing act. Currently females have all the momentum while still maintaining all the traditional benefits. That can't happen if they want true equality. Many guys just not gonna give in and will only have marriage less relationships until there is balance.
Well that's odd, since more married women work outside the home than not.

Wouldn't one of those "traditional benefits" be not having to (indeed, the majority of the time, expected to) bring in an income? Hmmm.

I mean...while doing the majority of the child care and housework as well, of course (have stats if you need them, just ask).

So...double hmmmm on this uhMAYzing free ride with alllllll the "traditional benefits" thing.
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Old 01-09-2016, 04:34 PM
 
14,771 posts, read 17,076,586 times
Reputation: 20658
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Well that's odd, since more married women work outside the home than not.

Wouldn't one of those "traditional benefits" be not having to (indeed, the majority of the time, expected to) bring in an income? Hmmm.

I mean...while doing the majority of the child care and housework as well, of course (have stats if you need them, just ask).

So...double hmmmm on this uhMAYzing free ride with alllllll the "traditional benefits" thing.
It's the usual drivel.
Some people can't seperate tradition in ceremony, and a moment... And the expectation of equality in everyday / working life.....most men can though. This is the minority.
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Old 01-09-2016, 10:33 PM
 
3,928 posts, read 4,892,302 times
Reputation: 3073
My husband surprised me with a beautiful engagement ring that I didn't expect since I would have been happy with different styles of rings for an engagement ring. The diamond he purchased is wonderful and I wear it everyday with my wedding ring. Every couple is different and it's really nobody's business whether a ring is expensive. I don't judge people for driving expensive cars. To each his own.
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Old 01-09-2016, 11:07 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,625,050 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Well that's odd, since more married women work outside the home than not.

Wouldn't one of those "traditional benefits" be not having to (indeed, the majority of the time, expected to) bring in an income? Hmmm.

I mean...while doing the majority of the child care and housework as well, of course (have stats if you need them, just ask).

So...double hmmmm on this uhMAYzing free ride with alllllll the "traditional benefits" thing.
Don't forget giving up your last name.
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Old 01-10-2016, 08:18 PM
 
1,837 posts, read 2,015,394 times
Reputation: 4397
I am finally insisting that my husband buy me an engagement ring, after almost 10 years of marriage. Not a diamond, because we could never afford a really good one. Instead, it will be a glorious trillion-cut Montana sapphire. I've been the breadwinner for the entire marriage, paying for absolutely everything, so I don't feel bad about making this demand.

I do suspect that there is a correlation between a man's treatment of his wife and the care and sacrifice he puts into the engagement ring he buys for her.
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Old 01-10-2016, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,418,348 times
Reputation: 53067
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
Engagement ring is the hidden marriage tax that's all. While guys just want to get it over with so we can pick something more important like a down payment to a house.

That's what I did, told my wife back then I have money for either house or ring and honeymoon. She picked house. Eventually we got a ring and mini honeymoon.
We already had a house when we got married. My husband had purchased it a full decade before we even met. We didn't need a down payment...not that we spent a ton on jewelry. But it's definitely not a given that people get married prior to home ownership.
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