Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am terminating this relationship cause of the many ways he has hurt us over the years. Before this wedding he had not communicated with us at all. All the letter writing i did and all the e-mails, birthday cards, christmas cards were totally ignored. Another words he did not acknowledge them and did not reply to them. Yes I am through cause it has affected me
emotionaly. I've had to go for help cause of his neglect to us. the sad thing is he don't care. How would you feel if your son didn't even ask you to dance at his wedding. No Mother/ Son dance and totally very un respectful to my husband and I. This was the frosting on the cake and I am through crying over him and his bimbo.
Memorable
I am so sorry for your sadness. If my Son didn't invite me to dance at his wedding, I would have no issue at all (I absolutely hate dancing! And I didn't even dance with my husband or Father at my own wedding!
It wasn't meant as a slight, I just hate, hate, hate to dance!)..so if my Son doesn't want to dance at his Wedding, I wouldn't mind at all - in fact I would be blissfully happy, lol! (Since he doesn't like to dance any more than I do, hopefully it will be a nonissue!)
Sometimes Grown up Kids get busy and men especially don't always reply with cards on certain occasions.
I wouldn't write him totally off just yet....he is your Son, and we are suppose to have unconditional love for our children. I would give it a bit of time, since he just got married, but would definitely talk to him about it,and about your feelings.
Ummm...did you just call his bride a Bimbo??!??? No wonder your Son doesn't communicate with you.
Last edited by Crazee Cat Lady; 05-26-2016 at 03:08 AM..
Back in the old days Tradition stated that the Grooms parents should usually be the ones to pay for the rehearsal dinner....maybe they are upset that you did not? But, like I said that was the old days, I think usually the couples pick up most of the costs themselves nowadays....but traditionally the grooms parents did pay for the rehearsal dinner.
Well it is all over and so is our relationship with our son and daughter in -law. on the 18th of May we left for our sons wedding. We were really happy and trying to think positive tht it was going to be a happy time. Unfortunately not. Our daughter-in law kept calling us on our cell phone asking the same questions.
Where we were and when we were going to be to our destination. Mind you she asked the same questions
every day for a week before the wedding. I finally got fed up and quit answering. We were driving down the highway and got another call from her. My husband finally got tired and answered. She asked if we were going to be on time. My husband re assured her again that we would be there on time for the rehearsal. As it was we were there an hour in a half before the rehearsal. Our son came down to meet
and greet us. She (DIL) was very cold to us. she was upset cause we didn't sign in under the rooms that
were blocked out for the wedding. We used a coupon for expedia to help us with the cost of the hotel stay
as it was $150.00 per night, which we really could not afford. When we arrived for the rehearsal there was noting for us to do as parents of the groom. We just stood there waiting for the rehearsal to be done.
After wards they had the dinner and the only one that really acknowledeged us was my sons buddy. On
the day of the wedding we were told that the ushers were going to take the Mother Of The Bride and I
to our seats. My husband asked what he should do and my son said he was going to have his future father in law walk me down, which did not make any sense at all. th only sense it made is that he wanted to hurt my husband. Later that evening I was waiting for the Mother, Son dance which never transpired. Another way to hurt us.
They had pre-invited us the day after the wedding for brunch. Both my son and his wife asked if we were going to come. We told them yes and asked a half dozen time through out the da of the wedding, where it was going to be and what time. We got the time out of our son, but he said he didn't know where it was going to be. I finally asked her mother. She said no one told you. I said No. She told us where but we had to find out directions for our self. Our son was suppose to call us the morning after the wedding, but never did. when we arrived to where the brunch was to be the hostess at the restaurant said that the bride called and changed the time. Mind you again we were never told that the time changed. When her family started walking in and we were sitting there there jaws all dropped. So this whole thing was planeed to hurt us and our son was part of it. In the middle of the brunch her mom said this is dutch treat as if we werre going to stick her with our bill. I told her that we had already taken care of our bill. this whole thing was all about the friging money. this brunch for the 2 of us cost
us $90.00. My husband later told me that the waiter thought we were going to take care of the whole
bill. I had brought the shower gift with us to the brunch as my son and daughter in law didn't meet us
at our room to pick it up and we wanted them to have it. My son thanked us, but we didn't her a thank you out of her mouth. When we were ready to leave our son walked us down to our car to say his good byes. She followed expecting us to say goodbye to her and kiss her. Ig ave her a hug and that was it.
It really hurt cause she was so ungrateful. As it stands I really don't care to ever here from them again.
Grand children or not. I am through with both of them.
Sorrowfully,
Memorable
I just flipped through and read your post real fast, and at first I felt sorry for you.
After rereading.....Has your therapist ever told you that you might be suffering from "Narcissistic Personality disorder? I mean you seriously think they did things because they wanted to hurt you????
It was their Wedding, their day, not your's - you are acting like everything should have been about you.
Why on earth would they have a Wedding just to hurt you all????????? WHY?
It sounds like they were disorganized, but I doubt anyone was wanting to hurt you. Any Wedding I have ever been in or attended the Groomsmen or Ushers escorted the Mother of the Bride, and the Mother of the Groom in, and the Father of the Groom followed in by himself. And not everyone has the dance thing nowadays.
You wonder why your new daughter in law isn't falling all over you - first you quit answering her phone calls and emails, since she was annoying you, then she holds her cheek out like she wanted a kiss from you...and you begrudgingly hug her and refer to her as a Bimbo(at least on this board) If you don't have GPS in your car, then use the GPS on your smart phone, it will give you exact directions to any address that you input to it.
So you are through with them....that actually sounds like the very best gift that you could ever give them!!!!!!
It is possible that some of the things during the wedding weekend were misunderstandings.
Did you tell them in advance that you were not staying in the "block of rooms"? It is likely that the wedding couple had saved a room for you which meant that some other relative or friend could not stay in the assigned block and had to pay more for their room. Sometimes the rooms that are set aside even have to be paid in full if they are empty and it is not cancelled in enough time.
At the rehearsal you would have known that the ushers walk the mothers to their seats. And, I have seen weddings where the two fathers walk down the aisle together right after them. So that really is not that unusual.
Regarding the mother-son dance. I have been to quite a few weddings where they did not do that. Perhaps your son really did not know that you wanted to do that. Did you tell him in advance or just assume that would happen?
The brunch the next day could have just been a misunderstanding, too regarding the time and the address. And where did you get the idea that they expected you to pay for the whole bill? Maybe the waiter just assumed that since you were there early you were the ones in charge.
Now, from your posts your son does not seem to be a reliable, loving, caring child but perhaps step back and wait before you totally cut off him & his wife.
Now, a few of the things that you did were not the acts of loving parents or in-laws. Turning off your phone when your future DIL was calling because she was "annoying"? Not kissing your new DILs cheek when she walked you to the car to say Good Bye? Those things seem pretty odd.
I am sorry that it did not work out that well, but I bet that most of the things that you mentioned were just misunderstandings and miscommunications.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-26-2016 at 08:08 AM..
Sounds like there are years of resentment and hurt feelings on the part of the OP. And a lot of drama surrounding any interactions she has with her son. Perhaps he's completely at fault, but I suspect he's probably also tired of dealing with someone who makes it a habit of find faulting and supposing insult where none was intended.
I honestly found it exhausting to read her list of "slights" she perceived over one weekend. I can't imagine what he's felt after years of the same. In addition, she's made it plain she dislikes his new wife. Does she really believe her son is going to suddenly agree with her? Her post feels emotionally manipulative and I can't fault her son if he's over it. Being clingy and emotionally needy isn't going to result in a healthy adult relationship with a child.
I have to agree that there's more going on and that the OP's view and mindset isn't really helping her. She had referred to her son's ex-wife as a "bimbo"and now she's referring to the current wife as the same. The son sounds very passive, he's likely been conditioned to be way. Unfortunately, it's too easy to be disappointed by passive people.
And when one posts to a message board, they are asking - yes, asking! - strangers to form judgments and express opinions.
If you don't want people commenting, don't post your business on the internet.
Message boards are not support groups.
It might do you some good to find on of those....
My son and his wife made out. We didn't. We drove over 1,000 miles to attend my sons wedding and got treated like dirt. So don't assume that I am the bad guy. Cause I'm not. Before this wedding niether one of them talked and that's fine, but they had there hand out to us to pay for there wedding.
OP - You're absolutely right. You should never speak to your son or daughter in law again. I fully support your decision and hope you can stick to it.
Good Luck.
Last edited by UNC4Me; 05-26-2016 at 08:04 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
