Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We didn't exchange gifts unless you count our actual wedding bands. Even then, I bought my own wedding band and his was a tungsten carbide ring I found on Amazon for $15.
I guess I would say - it sounds a little high maintenance to resort to one word answers after being told not to exchange gifts.
Are you guys otherwise on the same page about things money-wise?
Since money is an issue, but she wants to do the gift thing, maybe you could discuss together something you could use/do together. Skis for both of you? A grill for the back yard?
I think it's a sweet and meaningful tradition for the bride and groom to exchange gifts privately...something intimate, not necessarily expensive but that will be a lifelong keepsake.
Paying for a wedding is one thing. You can say "it is for her" but it is for bother of you whether or not you can take it or leave it It is certainly not a heart felt gift.
Being in a giving spirit towards your soon to be wife is another story, and I would think you would find a lot of positive motivation to treat her to something you think she really wants, instead of focusing on the wedding your ambivalent to.
Find something heart felt and meaningful to give her. Something she would really love, appreciate, and respect the thoughtfulness which you put into it. It certainly doesn't have to be expensive. The gifts my wife loves the most, and finds the most meaningful, are the ones which show I paid attention to her and filled even the smallest want, need, or desire without her asking for something.
No one else finds it weird she sulks when he points out that they're paying for the wedding, so no gifts? He even stated they could pick out cards and write each other a letter, which is just as meaningful without having to spend money on gifts if you don't have the money.
Sure - you can always get her a small gift like getting a Things Remembered bracelet with her new monogram initialed onto it or A+B Wedding Date, 2016 or something and it's thoughtful (https://www.thingsremembered.com/per..._SALEBracelets), but I don't get the attitude of sulking about not wanting to give gifts when someone is helping to pay for the wedding itself. Like stating that money might be tight and then being told, "Come with me... or not. Whatever." is kind of strange, too.
We chose not to get each other gifts, because we paid for our own wedding.
You are too close to the situation to see how one sided and how dysfunctional your relationship is with your GF. If this was happening to one of your close friends you would tell him to either cancel the wedding completely or postpone it a year or two. If you truly love each other waiting two years won't matter at all.
But, I have a sneaky feeling that if you tried to postpone the wedding your GF would dump you and just substitute another chump in your place and go on with the dream wedding that she & her family planned. I wouldn't be surprised if she already has a back-up groom in mind in case you don't knuckle under to her every demand. IMHO, she does not love you as much as the idea of a perfect man who will bow down to her every wish and demand. And, don't you want to be loved for you ?
BTW, I personally have not even known one couple that exchanged wedding gifts, except for things like writing their own vows. Maybe, it is common in other circles, but in my 64 years I have not heard of any couple that I know or was related to that did that.
You are too close to the situation to see how one sided and how dysfunctional your relationship is with your GF. If this was happening to one of your close friends you would tell him to either cancel the wedding completely or postpone it a year or two. If you truly love each other waiting two years won't matter at all.
But, I have a sneaky feeling that if you tried to postpone the wedding your GF would dump you and just substitute another chump in your place and go on with the dream wedding that she & her family planned. I wouldn't be surprised if she already has a back-up groom in mind in case you don't knuckle under to her every demand. IMHO, she does not love you as much as the idea of a perfect man who will bow down to her every wish and demand. And, don't you want to be loved for you ?
BTW, I personally have not even known one couple that exchanged wedding gifts, except for things like writing their own vows. Maybe, it is common in other circles, but in my 64 years I have not heard of any couple that I know or was related to that did that.
All of this.
I was always under the impression that wedding rings were the "gift" between bride and groom.
Please schedule pre-marital counseling. If your GF won't attend (and I bet that she won't) please go by yourself and discuss all of this issues with a trained therapist. If you can't afford it go to your student counseling service or a clergyman to discuss this issues. Please.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.