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We like going to weddings. Most of the time, it's a fun way to spend the weekend with people you know watching people you love starting a wonderful journey together. But there are those weddings that absolutely suck monkey balls. There are several different ways to answer this one:
Bad Relationship -- There have been a couple of weddings where you absolutely knew that this marriage was doomed, casting a pall over the entire event. The only ones who didn't know this was the bride, groom, or both. My BIL's wedding was that way. The bride was an absolutely horrible person. Her own family didn't even like her. I was sitting at the table with the bride's sister, listening to her recount all the awful things my new SIL had done in life. Sure enough, the marriage lasted little over a year. My BIL essentially paid off her credit cards and she immediately began stepping out on her. So that weekend had an entire doomstruck motif about it all. The fact that we were burning a perfectly good Labor Day weekend in some tiny burg in Georgia was just icing on the cake.
Bad Venue -- I've gotten to the point that if I get a wedding invitation where the reception is going to be held in the Fellowship Hall in the basement of the local Baptist church, we will send a gift unless we're REALLY attached to the bride, groom, or their families. I'm no boozehound or anything, but if I'm going to drive untold hours and spend a weekend attending a wedding and a reception, then lime ice cream punch and finger sandwiches just don't cut it. Tight budget? I totally respect that. But don't invite everyone on the planet if you're doing this on a shoestring.
Bad Ceremony -- Trust me. Unless you're an incredible wordsmith, those vows you wrote sound incredibly cheesy compared to what's already available to you. The Anglican Church pretty much provided us with the classic 'drop the mic' wording of your average wedding ceremony, which is why it gets used in just about every TV or movie wedding you've ever seen. And why does it get used so much? Because, for sheer beauty and eloquence, it is yet to be topped.
Bad Miscellaneous -- The other thing? Endless toasts at the reception or the rehearsal dinner. They are almost without exception rambling and unfunny to all but a handful of people, even more so if the person giving the toast is blotto. If we're flying to your wedding, we're already at a disadvantage of not knowing all but a handful of your guests. Sitting in a banquet hall and listening to sixty minutes of drunken inside jokes is no one's idea of fun.
Bad Ideas -- Destination weddings are pretty much at the top of the list, chiefly because of all the demands it makes on your guests. Okay, you're from the US want to get hitched on a picturesque beach in Hawaii or an Italian villa. If just the two of you, no problem at all. But if you send out a hundred invitations, even a year in advance, you're making the following demands on your guests:
1) Expense. It's one thing to fly somewhere in the continental US for a three-day weekend, with your guests all staying at the Hampton Inn. It's another thing entirely to ask those same guests to fly overseas to some exotic resort location, where they will essentially be burning their annual vacation. Throw in passports, airfare, and a host of expenses--right down to snagging a babysitter for a week so your sister and her husband can actually attend--and your little whimsy is totaling up to some real cash for those who just want to be there for the happiest day of your life.
2) Logistics. Ever had to travel long distances with an 80-year-woman, navigating her through airport to make a connecting flight? If not, you have no idea what's involved. Yet all your grandmother wants to do is to see her granddaughter get married. Weddings aren't just for the couple. They are for the family, too.
3) You're Married. Then what? Great. Thirty people have just watched you get married in Aruba. Now what are they going to do for the next several days. Do you really want to be hanging with your family on your wedding night or honeymoon? Because that's basically what's going to happen.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 08-29-2018 at 01:26 PM..
Ahhh yes. Destination weddings. I have mixed feelings about them. I think it's fine, if JUST the bride and groom want to go off to a destination. I mean, when and if my own boys ever get married, I'd PREFER to see it, but I'd understand if the couple wanted to go off on their own to someplace more exotic.
But I'm not a fan of the situation where some get to go, and others don't.
My stepson and his wife decided to have a destination wedding to Panama City FL...2 days after my husband and I returned from OUR vacation in New Orleans. They had decided on the wedding while WE were away on vacation. We could not attend. We'd already blown our vacation and our money.
HOWEVER, the bride's mother, sister, sister's husband and 2 of the stepson's kids were there.
Yeah...we were a tad miffed about that.
A few years later stepson's oldest daughter decides on a destination wedding to Panama City FL. It was a beach wedding at a decent resort. (From what we were told.) The timing and the place were dependent on a annual fishing trip the groom's family took, so they figured granddaughter and groom should tag along and go ahead and get married. (And why not? The wedding dress is already bought, and they have a 3 yr. old son...so yeah...why not?
Well, stepson and his wife can't afford to stay at the resort, so they stay at a cheaper hotel down the road, about 20 minutes from the resort. THIS creates hard feelings, cause bride and her sister feel like DIL is keeping their dad away from them. There was drama. Again...from what we heard. Again...we'd just gotten back from our OWN vacation, when they decided this should all go down.
Last edited by Sassybluesy; 08-29-2018 at 03:16 PM..
Ugly strapless dresses? Geeeez. Some women look great in strapless dresses. My dress is strapless! And it's pretty. So boo on you meanies! I'm also going to have a cash bar with liquor with beer and wine hosted. People can deal with that too.
I would guess these same people think honeymoon registries are tacky. Funny, a vocal minority online goes on and on about how un-classy it is to ask for "cash disguised as a honeymoon registry," but I've paid into them at many weddings recently, and have heard many times how cool they are since - gasp - not everyone wants to buy 5 casserole dishes from Crate and Barrel for every wedding they attend.
I've only been to one wedding that had a mishap I considered "bad," and it caused dinner to be delayed by hours, and shortened the dancing to maybe one hour. That was a bummer. I otherwise don't judge the other stuff. Once you drink enough, most things seem fun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
Bad Miscellaneous -- The other thing? Endless toasts at the reception or the rehearsal dinner. They are almost without exception rambling and unfunny to all but a handful of people, even more so if the person giving the toast is blotto. If we're flying to your wedding, we're already at a disadvantage of not knowing all but a handful of your guests. Sitting in a banquet hall and listening to sixty minutes of drunken inside jokes is no one's idea of fun.
Indeed, they are not. I'm not opening my toasts at all. The traditional four toasts and that's it. That's plenty for people to listen to.
The worst single wedding I ever attended was my oldest brothers'. He was a screenwriter out in LA, a screenwriter who actually made his money selling screenplays as opposed to waiting tables and parking cars.
He brought home his fiancee roughly nine months before the wedding for Christmas. Well, she basically hung out in her bedroom, emerging to only spend the least possible amount of time with us. She emerged for Christmas Eve dinner, said next to nothing, and disappeared back to the room when dinner was over. A big yellow flag to the astute among us.
Seven months later, two months before the wedding, my brother calls me up to ask advice. Mind you, you'd have to know my brother. He never asks advice of anyone. "She's moved out of the bedroom. What do I do?" I took a deep breath and replied, "You know, if you postpone this wedding, nobody will think badly of you. It just means you all want to be sure."
Well, he didn't. We go trekking out to LA. I realize we're all Southerners, which seems to be the last acceptable bigotry in America, but we all have multiple degrees, are well-read, dress appropriately, are height/weight proportionate, and know what wine to order with the fish. My mother, sister, and wife could all attend a formal State Department dinner, take one casual glance at the place settings, and point out any mistakes. So it's not as if we were a bunch of uncultured rubes fresh off the set of Hee Haw.
Yet we couldn't get past the sense that her side of the family half expected us to arrive crammed into a battered pickup truck, complete with a coon dog baying off the back tailgate. Her mother was a frosty youknowwhat and her brother kept cracking jokes about Alabama. You know, the tired ones about marrying one's cousin and the whatnot. It wasn't as if these were society types, either. They were all pretty much middle-class folks from Seattle, so we really didn't understand where all the snobbery came from.
It comes time for the wedding, held at this amazing house on the bluffs of Malibu. We arrived early for photos, et al. At one point, my elderly mother needed to avail herself of the restroom, so she naturally went to where the bride was getting arrayed in what would turn out to be a barely-there wedding dress. My mother comes in, asks if she could use the ladies room, and was told by her future daughter-in-law and mother absolutely not. As in invited to leave. Wow. My mother has her moments, but she is invariably polite, so I can't imagine her saying something to offend these two. She finally found a place, but that pretty much set the tone.
Meanwhile my wife, who has several degrees and is the CFO of a largish company was approached by the florist, asking for the ushers so she can hand out boutonniers.
"Who are the ushers," my wife asks, trying to be helpful and thinking the florist has a list of names. The woman looked at her, exasperated. "Don't you know? They are the people who bring people to their seats." My wife turned away and immediately headed to the bar.
So, the wedding starts roughly fifteen minutes late because all these Hollywood types showed up late. They all looked as if they had just rolled out of bed. Mind you, I'm not expecting perfectly coiffed hair or tux and tails. But non-wrinkled clothes and actually showering that day might have proved a good idea. More than a few people arrived like that.
I'm a groomsman acting as usher. When one couple arrived, one of whom was a person you'd recognize on the movie screen, I asked, "Bride or groom?" to which she replied, "Groom, please." I take her arm and her escort says, "Hey, man, no way. This is MY date." The woman looks at him and says gently, "No, Sweetie. The usher is supposed to do this." Not to be deterred, he takes her other arm and we all walk up the aisle together.
After that, the wedding goes off without a hitch, the ceremony lasting roughly eleven seconds. Then off to the reception up the hill. We'd introduce ourselves to various guests, only to be disregarded multiple times. Finally, we just stood off to the side in our own little Dogpatch. The yokels, if you will, watching all the Hollywood people hand each other business cards, air kiss, and promise to do lunch.
At one point, one guy made a game attempt to be friendly and introduced himself. We chit chatted for a couple of minutes. Finally, he asked, "Now you're all from Alabama, right?"
"Why, yes."
"Were you excited to get on a plane and fly allllll the way out here?"
"Yes. But you know what's really exciting?"
"What's that."
"These are only the second pair of shoes I've ever owned." He absorbed this for a moment.
"I said something wrong here."
"Sorry. We've gotten a lot of that." After that, I apologized for my snide comeback and we had a very cordial half-hour conversation.
But towards the end of the evening, we just got tired of Hollywood types all trying to stereotype us. At the dinner, I was seated next to a television actress who was pretty hot stuff at the time. My wife and I tried to make just standard, non-fawning conversation, to which she would give one-word replies. Mind you, we were the brother and sister-in-law of the groom, so you'd think she'd at least make the effort. But she was too busy scanning the room looking for someone important to talk to. Finally, I tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse, me. I think I recognize you from somewhere." She gave me this look like, 'Oh, here it comes. He's going to ask my autograph.' Instead, I asked if she had been in a B-Movie from ten years earlier. She looked confused.
"Yes. I was."
"I thought so. What are you doing now?" She mentioned the show she was currently on.
"Oh, cool. I think my receptionist watches that. I'll have to tell her I met you. What's your name?" After that, we kind of had a cordial discussion. But my God. Afterwards, my wife whispered, 'You are my hero,' into my ear. She still tells that story.
The marriage lasted literally three weeks. I felt really bad for my brother, who is a great guy. But that woman was a total neurotic without even the rudiments of basic courtesy. And the crowd they ran with wasn't much better.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 08-29-2018 at 04:16 PM..
Ugly strapless dresses? Geeeez. Some women look great in strapless dresses. My dress is strapless! And it's pretty. So boo on you meanies!
Yes, some women look great in strapless dresses and some do not look great. I think that is what one of the previous posters meant.
I am always surprised when I see a bride wearing a strapless dress or very cleavage baring dress (especially for a church wedding) and they have never wore a similar style dress before and will never wear one again. A good friend in college was a very conservative dresser. She often wore high neck or turtleneck tops even in the middle of summer. Plus all of her clothes were usually very loose. I had never seen her wear a form fitting outfit either before her wedding day or after her wedding day. But as a wedding gown she selected a rather tight, rather low cut V-neck, strapless gown. It was so odd.
Yes, some women look great in strapless dresses and some do not look great. I think that is what one of the previous posters meant.
I am always surprised when I see a bride wearing a strapless dress or very cleavage baring dress (especially for a church wedding) and they have never wore a similar style dress before and will never wear one again. A good friend in college was a very conservative dresser. She often wore high neck or turtleneck tops even in the middle of summer. Plus all of her clothes were usually very loose. I had never seen her wear a form fitting outfit either before her wedding day or after her wedding day. But as a wedding gown she selected a rather tight, rather low cut V-neck, strapless gown. It was so odd.
Yes, I was trying to affect a tongue-in-cheek tone there by calling them meanies (not that tone is ever well-conveyed in text ). I actually am very small-chested, but strapless dresses look good on my body type anyway. So I just made sure the top fit tight so it didn't slip.
That is a strange choice for your friend, mostly because I think your dress should show a bit of 'you.' I wonder if she was pressured into choosing it? I agree with you about cleavage. If I were bigger-chested, I would feel self-conscious about moving a lot. I was wary of strapless in the first place because I wasn't sure how much I could dance or move in it (also a reason I rejected some of the very form-fitting trumpet styles). I'm big into dancing at weddings, so I wanted some flexibility. It's yet to be seen how much I'll have since the top is fitted closely to me, but again I'm small so it's not too tight for me to function/breathe or anything.
Yes, some women look great in strapless dresses and some do not look great. I think that is what one of the previous posters meant.
I am always surprised when I see a bride wearing a strapless dress or very cleavage baring dress (especially for a church wedding) and they have never wore a similar style dress before and will never wear one again. A good friend in college was a very conservative dresser. She often wore high neck or turtleneck tops even in the middle of summer. Plus all of her clothes were usually very loose. I had never seen her wear a form fitting outfit either before her wedding day or after her wedding day. But as a wedding gown she selected a rather tight, rather low cut V-neck, strapless gown. It was so odd.
Quote:
Originally Posted by savoytruffle
Yes, I was trying to affect a tongue-in-cheek tone there by calling them meanies (not that tone is ever well-conveyed in text ). I actually am very small-chested, but strapless dresses look good on my body type anyway. So I just made sure the top fit tight so it didn't slip.
That is a strange choice for your friend, mostly because I think your dress should show a bit of 'you.' I wonder if she was pressured into choosing it? I agree with you about cleavage. If I were bigger-chested, I would feel self-conscious about moving a lot. I was wary of strapless in the first place because I wasn't sure how much I could dance or move in it (also a reason I rejected some of the very form-fitting trumpet styles). I'm big into dancing at weddings, so I wanted some flexibility. It's yet to be seen how much I'll have since the top is fitted closely to me, but again I'm small so it's not too tight for me to function/breathe or anything.
I was thinking more about it and I do not think that my friend was pressured into selecting that wedding dress (unless it was by her future husband). Perhaps, she just wanted to be a "movie star" or "pageant queen" for a day. I knew her three years before the wedding and for ten years after the wedding and I never saw her in a similar outfit or revealing top before or after. I once saw her in a swimsuit that looked like something that Mother Teresa would wear to the pool. Really odd.
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I am not sure if they do the same thing for wedding dresses but women in pageants often attach (actually sew) their low cut and low backed pageant gowns to a long line bra. It can be a hassle to get the dress on but once it is on, the bra keeps your shape and will not fall down but still let's you move in the dress. I suppose that some wedding dresses probably have built in lining, boning and support so you wouldn't need to wear a bra (just like not wearing underwear with some pageant gowns).
The closest I came to seeing a Bridezilla was a wedding on a military base. The groom was in the service. The bride arrived but didn’t have any ID on her so the MPs at the gate made the groom come down and vouch for her. “Oh, he’s going to see me before the ceremony!” (She wasn’t in her gown). Had an absolute fit. We arrived about an hour later and the MPs made some comment like “Oh, you’re here for THAT wedding.” Same bride wore a strapless gown she bought off the rack and didn’t get altered. She was a pretty busty gal, and my main memory from that wedding is her hiking the top up every 45 seconds throughout the whole ceremony and reception.
Another wedding the invitation only said “reception following the ceremony.” So we leave the church and head towards the reception, knowing the bride and groom were still taking pictures. But they didn’t tell anyone they were also going to drive 30 minutes to a tourist area to take an carriage ride (who knows? 30 more minutes??) and then drive to the reception (another 30 minutes at least). The venue ran out of appetizers waiting.
Another reception was held at a hotel with an indoor pool. The bride came within about 5 seconds of getting thrown in the pool before cooler heads prevailed.
At my own wedding (my second) I told the minister I didn’t want the whole “who gives this woman?” Section. I was 32 years old and semi estranged from my father, so nobody was giving me away. (It was an at home wedding, so we just took our places, no marching down an aisle). Anyway, the minister gets to the giving away part, skips over it, but then also skips the reciting of the vows, too, and goes straight to the rings. So We never recited vows. Hopefully the marriage is valid.
Last one: church wedding. Minister is reciting a couple prayers. Organ playing softly. Somebody’s cell phone starts ringing....and ringing....and ringing. Turns out it was the ORGANISTS cell phone in her purse just out of her reach.
On a harbor cruise wedding boat. Swore I’ll never go in one again. You’re literally f’ing stuck there for 4-6 hours.
About 27 years ago a really good buddy was getting married and I was in the party. People started getting drunk and stupid. I got stuck dealing with a obliterated head-case of maid of honor who “was never gonna find a guy to get married” all the while pining away over some loser ex bf. And joy to the world I got to drive her home. Half way there she did the drunk almost pass out, farted belched and blew chunks all over my cars dash. That was fun to clean up at 11:30 at night. Took her home where she was feeling frisky and since her ex wasn’t there I would be a good stand in. Mmmm no thanks let’s get those clothes off hose you down and put this train wreck to bed.
If I get invited to such wedding again I’ll just shoot myself in the foot. Bound to hurt less.
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). I actually am very small-chested, but strapless dresses look good on my body type anyway. So I just made sure the top fit tight so it didn't slip. 
