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I thought of another - bride had a chronic health condition (think chronic fatigue syndrome). Bridesmaids, supposedly her friends, kept egging her on to dance every dance. As far as I could tell, not one person was watching out for her to take it a little easy. She wound up in the ER after the reception and they missed their honeymoon.
.
That is horrible.
I have also heard about brides & grooms who were so busy with everyone greeting them and talking to them, etc. that they never were able to eat their meal which caused problems later on (especially with long receptions).
I grew up with big weddings, dinners, drinks, dancing, etc.
When I moved to Salt Lake, I was invited to a Mormon wedding. Clearly no alcohol and no actual "wedding," just the reception. Okay, no problem. I get there and have to wait in line for about 40 minutes to greet the bride and groom. (I worked with the bride, so she was the only one I knew.) Finally get through that and go sit with some of the co-workers at a table. Punch and cookies. Wait, what?? Oh. Yay. After we finished the punch and cookies, we're sitting around talking and a couple of guys came up and asked us to leave, as there were others coming in and they needed the table. I was astounded, seriously??
I tried one more time, another Mormon wedding. It was just as boring, altho to be fair, no one asked me to leave that one. I could sit, after eating my punch and cookies, as long as I wanted. It's been decades and I've yet to attend another one. Just not interested. I respect that this is their wedding and it's exactly the way they want it, but it's time I'll never get back. I just send a card, a gift and regrets.
The worst single wedding I ever attended was my oldest brothers'. He was a screenwriter out in LA, a screenwriter who actually made his money selling screenplays as opposed to waiting tables and parking cars.
The marriage lasted literally three weeks. I felt really bad for my brother, who is a great guy. But that woman was a total neurotic without even the rudiments of basic courtesy. And the crowd they ran with wasn't much better.
I truncated your post, but wanted to let you know that I thought this was a great story, I enjoyed reading it (and chuckling), I'm glad you shared it. My son married the only daughter of a very well off couple. She was constantly carrying on, like telling me she and her mom flew out to New York to find her wedding dress, etc., etc.
Hubby and I found some cute champagne glasses that had "Bride" and "Groom"on there. We bought them, only to be told by Madame Snoot that her parents had specifically ordered and purchased glasses for them during their trip to Italy, thank you very much.
Ah, pretentiousness - where would we be without you at weddings?
The worst single wedding I ever attended was my oldest brother's. We go trekking out to LA. I realize we're all Southerners, which seems to be the last acceptable bigotry in America, but we all have multiple degrees, are well-read, dress appropriately, are height/weight proportionate, and know what wine to order with the fish. My mother, sister, and wife could all attend a formal State Department dinner, take one casual glance at the place settings, and point out any mistakes. So it's not as if we were a bunch of uncultured rubes fresh off the set of Hee Haw.
Yet we couldn't get past the sense that her side of the family half expected us to arrive crammed into a battered pickup truck, complete with a coon dog baying off the back tailgate. Her mother was a frosty youknowwhat and her brother kept cracking jokes about Alabama. You know, the tired ones about marrying one's cousin and the whatnot.<snip>
At one point, one guy made a game attempt to be friendly and introduced himself. We chit chatted for a couple of minutes. Finally, he asked, "Now you're all from Alabama, right?"
"Why, yes."
"Were you excited to get on a plane and fly allllll the way out here?"
"Yes. But you know what's really exciting?"
"What's that."
"These are only the second pair of shoes I've ever owned." He absorbed this for a moment.
"I said something wrong here."
"Sorry. We've gotten a lot of that." After that, I apologized for my snide comeback and we had a very cordial half-hour conversation.
This one wins!!! A story well-told.
After reading all the horror stories involving too much booze, the Mormon weddings area almost sounding like a good idea. Almost. :-)
It's funny because most every bride & groom think their wedding & reception is wonderful ! Unless, of course, something really obvious happens that ruins or slightly ruins the wedding.
The last wedding we attended was held on a bluff overlooking the ocean. The day was bright and sunny and warm... until we started getting closer to the beach, where it was dark and foggy and cold. As we were sitting there waiting for the ceremony to begin, the clouds of fog would roll by right in front of your face. The wind was blowing and everyone was just miserable.
So we waited for it to begin. And waited. And waited. Apparently there was some snafu with their "sound system." Everyone was seriously fighting off crankiness. We were FREEZING. We were shivering and huddling together. Everyone was wearing light summer clothing. Of course the poor bride had decided on a strapless gown.
They finally started the ceremony. It was very nice. And very short. So we all headed off for the reception. Then, again, minutes away from the beach, the day turned bright and sunny and warm again.
I omitted this part of the story when I first posted, because it's just kind of gross. lol We were at the reception of the above-mentioned wedding, sitting at a table and having a drink. My SO told me he saw my face change in horror as I was looking at him, and I said, "Oh, my God!" It turned out he was having quite a nasty nosebleed. So he went to the restroom to try to get it to stop and to get cleaned up. While he was in there, a homeless-looking man was staring at himself in the mirror, obsessively bathing and muttering to himself (the reception was held in a venue at a community park), which didn't give him a warm fuzzy.
So he finally got it to stop or at least slow down, but his shirt was also kind of drenched in blood, so we excused ourselves from the party and left. It soon started up again, though, so we went to urgent care to make sure it was nothing serious. They packed his nose up, assured us that it was indeed probably nothing serious, and sent us on our way. On the way home, it started going again, he was actually swallowing a lot of blood, so we ended up in the ER. They said the same thing, it was common because of the dry air, blah blah blah, and they finally got it to stop for good. By the time we got home, we were pretty much exhausted.
Not a very fun day at all. Hope it went better for the bride and groom.
Just met this woman about 10 days before this wedding she was to attend. Did NOT want to go alone so I went with her.
I seem to meet a lot of women that do not want to do weddings and other functions alone.
Catholic wedding, I knew nobody there. Then the reception. Banquet room of restaurant. So after a while I step outside. I notice three men who looked very homeless get ready to raid the dumpster. So I walk over to that area, and say, "Hey, you want some food?"
They all looked at me suspiciously at first, but I guess hunger was a priority. I said, "Yeah, there's a buffet line inside, go help yourselves." Still apprehensive, I waved them over.
"Look, all the leftovers will be thrown out so you might as well get something good."
So slowly they entered, I pointed out the start of the line at the buffet, and walked over.
Not five minutes later the three filed out each with a large paper bag full of food. They all thanked me and said God bless.
Half a minute later this guy with a red face from the champagne accosts me. "Like what the hell was that all about?"
"OK" I started. "Remember that place where the wedding was? There were about a dozen images of a guy nailed to the cross."
"And so what?" the moron had to ask.
"What was one his major efforts in His life?"
Now just glaring at me saying nothing.
I stepped closer to him and said, "FEED THE HUNGRY!"
Just met this woman about 10 days before this wedding she was to attend. Did NOT want to go alone so I went with her.
I seem to meet a lot of women that do not want to do weddings and other functions alone.
Catholic wedding, I knew nobody there. Then the reception. Banquet room of restaurant. So after a while I step outside. I notice three men who looked very homeless get ready to raid the dumpster. So I walk over to that area, and say, "Hey, you want some food?"
They all looked at me suspiciously at first, but I guess hunger was a priority. I said, "Yeah, there's a buffet line inside, go help yourselves." Still apprehensive, I waved them over.
"Look, all the leftovers will be thrown out so you might as well get something good."
So slowly they entered, I pointed out the start of the line at the buffet, and walked over.
Not five minutes later the three filed out each with a large paper bag full of food. They all thanked me and said God bless.
Half a minute later this guy with a red face from the champagne accosts me. "Like what the hell was that all about?"
"OK" I started. "Remember that place where the wedding was? There were about a dozen images of a guy nailed to the cross."
"And so what?" the moron had to ask.
"What was one his major efforts in His life?"
Now just glaring at me saying nothing.
I stepped closer to him and said, "FEED THE HUNGRY!"
Thank you for a good laugh!
My (late) husband and I had a Silver Wedding anniversary party. At the end of the evening there was quite a bit of food left over, still hot and still tasty (as they kept refilling the trays through out the evening). We were not allowed to take the food home and the restaurant owner/caterer suggested that we give the left over hors d'oeuvres to the people at the bar (instead of them throwing it out). Wow! The bar patrons were really, really appreciative of the free food.
The ceremony was late because the bride was upstairs screaming at her family members for some reason... you could hear her throughout the building.
Her mom kept coming down and telling folks, "She's just stressed out ..." which wasn't true. She was spoiled.
When she was finally done screaming, we all waited patiently in our rented chairs in front of a barn (because rustic is SO in) while the bride and groom barely looked at each other during the ceremony.
Her grandfather had hoped to officiate but he wasn't ordained in our state. So he took advantage of his slot to "say a few words" and spoke for 22 minutes (yes I timed it) about what makes a good marriage as his third wife looked on adoringly, veering into cringey territory when he editorialized about how important a good sex life was to keep married men from straying. At his granddaughter's wedding.
I didn't stay around to watch these two go through the rest of the motions.
The ceremony was late because the bride was upstairs screaming at her family members for some reason... you could hear her throughout the building.
Her mom kept coming down and telling folks, "She's just stressed out ..." which wasn't true. She was spoiled.
When she was finally done screaming, we all waited patiently in our rented chairs in front of a barn (because rustic is SO in) while the bride and groom barely looked at each other during the ceremony.
Her grandfather had hoped to officiate but he wasn't ordained in our state. So he took advantage of his slot to "say a few words" and spoke for 22 minutes (yes I timed it) about what makes a good marriage as his third wife looked on adoringly, veering into cringey territory when he editorialized about how important a good sex life was to keep married men from straying. At his granddaughter's wedding.
I didn't stay around to watch these two go through the rest of the motions.
Omg. lol Yuck.
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A story well-told.
So we all headed off for the reception. Then, again, minutes away from the beach, the day turned bright and sunny and warm again.
