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The APPROPRIATE cash gift amount is what you can afford and what you are comfortable giving. Period. That's it.
The type of wedding, location of wedding, relationship to the couple should have no bearing at all.
Give what you can afford and are comfortable doing so.
That's a fine tip when you're just friends or more distant acquaintance but when you're a family member and the couple knows you make food money, a small cash gift will be taken as a comment on their relationship. Having a close cousin making 100k, living below his means, give 20$ from him and his girlfriend pretty much said he disapproved of the wedding.
That's a fine tip when you're just friends or more distant acquaintance but when you're a family member and the couple knows you make food money, a small cash gift will be taken as a comment on their relationship. Having a close cousin making 100k, living below his means, give 20$ from him and his girlfriend pretty much said he disapproved of the wedding.
It CERTAINLY does not. Disapproving of the wedding would mean they would not show up.
For you to rate someone's potential gift in relation to their salary is unabashedly, blatantly selfish. No one needs to give you anything. Your wedding is a day between you and your future spouse.
Guests attend and/ or give gifts because they they want to celebrate this time with you. Both actions are because they want to be there. There is NO expectation of value on the gift. It is not a entrance fee or percentage of their salary. UGH.
It CERTAINLY does not. Disapproving of the wedding would mean they would not show up.
For you to rate someone's potential gift in relation to their salary is unabashedly, blatantly selfish. No one needs to give you anything. Your wedding is a day between you and your future spouse.
Guests attend and/ or give gifts because they they want to celebrate this time with you. Both actions are because they want to be there. There is NO expectation of value on the gift. It is not a entrance fee or percentage of their salary. UGH.
I never said anything about an entry fee and I wasn't saying a gift amount should be entirely based on salary. My point was that if a person makes a lot of money and has great cash flow, a comfortable gift (which is what you said was appropriate) is higher than a person who is struggling to survive. If someone who makes big bucks gives nothing or basically nothing, there is no excuse besides a comment on the relationship. And as to not showing up, few people pass up free food and time with their family.
Of course, gifting varies by area. In the metro Northeast USA, i.e. the Tri-State area, gifting money, usually $100/person, is standard etiquette for weddings, at least to every person I've ever spoken to (besides my weird in-laws, but that's just layers upon layers of bizarre behavior and not for this thread).
I never said anything about an entry fee and I wasn't saying a gift amount should be entirely based on salary. My point was that if a person makes a lot of money and has great cash flow, a comfortable gift (which is what you said was appropriate) is higher than a person who is struggling to survive. .
You didn't understand my post. It is the GIVER's comfort level....not the receiver's. If a person makes a lot of money, and has a great cash flow, it is ONLY up to them to determine where that money should go. You, as a receiver, should have no say, or opinion. And, ANY gift is a "gift"; and there should never be an expectation of value of that gift. Selfish and entitled.
You didn't understand my post. It is the GIVER's comfort level....not the receiver's. If a person makes a lot of money, and has a great cash flow, it is ONLY up to them to determine where that money should go. You, as a receiver, should have no say, or opinion. And, ANY gift is a "gift"; and there should never be an expectation of value of that gift. Selfish and entitled.
I'm well aware you meant the giver's comfort level. I think you are not understanding my post. If etiquette says you should give X and someone has the ability to do that but doesn't, that is making a statement, especially when a family member does it. A person of means can at least give the amount local etiquette calls for and not doing so when they can says something else is making the giver uncomfortable, i.e. the couple. Or that they're just cheap I guess. But bottom line breaking etiquette for no good reason says something about that person and it ain't good.
In the end I took my personal experience as a learning experience on how my in laws work. No need to gift them anymore at their events (tho that cousin got $200 bucks from me already at his wedding when DH and I were still engaged - rats! ).
Maybe all your friends/family live in the same town, but practically EVERY wedding we go to (or hear people going to in our friend group) is a destination wedding bc it requires us to fly there and get a hotel.
So I don't get the hate for destination weddings.
I liked the ones that are at least somewhere fun like the beach instead of central California or Chicago or Phoenix other boring ass places I've had to fly.
My kingdom for a wedding in Costa Rica or something.
As for the gift, the thought behind the gift always meant more to me than the actual dollar amount behind it.
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