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It's not just women, though. I know several women who didn't want a ring or who didn't want to go through the proposal rigmarole, but their boyfriends were the ones who wanted that. They wanted to choose the ring and plan the proposal and surprise her and look like the best boyfriend ever.
DH is like that - I suspect he would prefer if I were much more girlie. (At least I LOOK girlie)
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At what point in your relationship did you decide you will be getting engaged? I think we'd been dating about 3 years or so.
When did the ring appear after this decision? We picked it out together, but he held on to it for about a month and change before he proposed, just to surprise me. He did surprise me.
Did you both have an input on what kind of ring you will get? Yep. We picked it out together. We actually picked one to buy for the proposal that was the same as the one we wound up buying, but smaller. It took a while for them to get in the larger stones we wanted to see to pick the actual ring. After the engagement, we went in together to look. I let him choose, but he picked the one of the 3 we'd had ordered in that I liked best anyway.
Did you consider you will both own the cost of the ring, if you needed to take out a loan? Nope. He knew how much he wanted to spend. I had in mind to spend less, but he had more in mind. We didn't spend quite as much as he originally was planning, or as little as I thought. Was a compromise. We didn't take out a loan, but we did take advantage of 12 months with zero interest (paid half up front, other half was no interest) because my husband is big on not taking money out of savings where it earns interest if someone is giving you money interest free. It was paid off on time, because we knew what we could afford and the money was already earmarked.
Did you talk about how much you will spend for the ring and whether it will have to be a diamond? He knew I wanted a diamond and we didn't discuss money heavily, though, as I already mentioned, we did talk about it briefly.
Did you shop for it together? Of course.
What was the surprise element when the proposal was finally made? Just under 2 months after we bought the first ring. Total surprise because it was on Valentine's Day while I was walking to our front door to get my coat so we could go to brunch. He's not big on that day as a holiday, so I was NOT expecting it then.
What was the length of time before the wedding took place? It was pretty close behind. 2.5 months later. We threw together an intimate wedding in less than 6 weeks. It was great!
Did you ever have to get/give the ring back? This ring? Nah. I'm wearing it right now. I have been engaged before and given a ring back, but I broke up with that guy before we got married. We were really young.
See bolded.
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At what point in your relationship did you decide you will be getting engaged? Well we didn't actually do a formal engagement. It was more of we've been and lived together long enough, 6 years, and he thought I should have a nice ring.
When did the ring appear after this decision? Well I seem to be a bit picky. I am not a big fan of jewelry and my husband(I call him that as we have been together for 20 years) knows this. When the time came to look for one I went with him. We went to ,no joke, dozens of stores…I was in and out in minutes. Then I found one at Sam's club, lol. I put it on and I loved it…and that never happens. My husband wanted to buy it and I looked at the price tag and said "no…it's too expensive." He said no way you're getting the damn ring(lovingly) It was just over $2000.00 which I still think is a ridiculous price to pay for a ring.
What was the surprise element when the proposal was finally made? Proposal was also not formal. It was more like "we've lasted 20 years we should get married", lol.
What was the length of time before the wedding took place? 20 years. We are getting married this July.
At what point in your relationship did you decide you will be getting engaged? About six months after started dating, we knew we'd be together forever.
When did the ring appear after this decision? Two years in.
Did you both have an input on what kind of ring you will get? Hmmm...sort of. His mother had three rings one for each son. She had shown me the rings, and I liked two of them, and she picked. She picked right
Did you consider you will both own the cost of the ring, if you needed to take out a loan? n/a
Did you talk about how much you will spend for the ring and whether it will have to be a diamond? n/a
Did you shop for it together? n/a
What was the surprise element when the proposal was finally made? Yes, I had no idea it was happening.
What was the length of time before the wedding took place? Two years. We had to get out of college.
Did you ever have to get/give the ring back? Can't. Ring was stolen in house break in. And we're still married 34 years later.
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(At least I LOOK girlie)
