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Wow, $7,000 for one day of work?!?! No wonder your fiancé says that he does not think that you need one.
You mentioned that your wedding was only about 60 people. Do you have a second tier friend or co-worker or cousin who you could fly to the wedding and could handle that job? I bet that they would do it for free as a gift to you, or for a lot less than $7,000.
Yeah I mean I am sure someone could & would... I just hate throwing responsibilities on people when they already have to travel and get hotels and everything else. They should be enjoying themselves, not 'working'.
Jdawg, I would recommend getting a wedding planner or at least, a day-of coordinator. My fiancé and I have both, actually. It has taken a lot of stress off our backs. I am sorry to hear about your first wedding and marriage. I hope this one is much better.
What helped me was searching on theknot.com or weddingwire.com. You can search for vendors on there. Or see if there are any wedding shows in your area. That is how we found a couple of our vendors.
I have never even heard of a someone hiring a "day of coordinator", except for celebrity weddings or those million dollar "Platinum weddings" on TV.
Most of those situations that you listed are usually handled by the maid of honor and/or best man and even if they aren't, they certainly aren't anything for the bride or groom to stress over.
I wish you the best of luck on your wedding day and a long and happy marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
Wow, $7,000 for one day of work?!?! No wonder your fiancé says that he does not think that you need one.
You mentioned that your wedding was only about 60 people. Do you have a second tier friend or co-worker or cousin who you could fly to the wedding and could handle that job? I bet that they would do it for free as a gift to you, or for a lot less than $7,000.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181
Yeah I mean I am sure someone could & would... I just hate throwing responsibilities on people when they already have to travel and get hotels and everything else. They should be enjoying themselves, not 'working'.
No, I meant to ask someone who was not an invited wedding guest, if you did not want to ask the bridal party to help, if needed. Perhaps an OCD type co-worker or a friend, but not a close friend who was invited to the wedding. You could pay their airline ticket & hotel room and perhaps something extra.
And, are you seriously saying that a day-of-coordinator costs $7,000? Or was that a typo? Does she or he just work the day or weekend of the wedding? Not one of my friends ever made that much ($7,000) a month.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-06-2018 at 04:13 PM..
No, I meant to ask someone who was not an invited wedding guest, if you did not want to ask the bridal party to help, if needed. Perhaps an OCD type co-worker or a friend, but not a close friend who was invited to the wedding. You could pay their airline ticket & hotel room and perhaps something extra.
And, are you seriously saying that a day-of-coordinator costs $7,000? Or was that a typo? Does she or he just work the day or weekend of the weekend? Not one of my friends ever made that much ($7,000) a month.
Honestly, I've only been to one wedding that had a wedding planner. Everything else the B&G DIYed. I'm still befuddled that if the DJ is already hired, hasn't he asked for a playlist? Is it that hard to say X is the father/daughter dance song? That's not extra work.
People need to put their personal feelings aside. When a friend is getting married, it's their day and they get to make the decisions on the wedding party, the venue, and everything else. The bride & groom make all those decisions. If others don't like it, tough!
Heck, one of the last weddings that I attended even the bride did not carry a bouquet. And, the attendants certainly did not have flowers. Now, that I think about it the last wedding that I attended I do not believe that the bridesmaids had flowers either. ?
Was that to save money? What did they carry instead if they didn't carry bouquets?
If you love your fiancé and he wants his sisters to be bridesmaids what is the big deal? And, if you want to save money they do not have to carry bouquets. Or they can each carry one white rose or something similar.
Heck, one of the last weddings that I attended even the bride did not carry a bouquet. And, the attendants certainly did not have flowers. Now, that I think about it the last wedding that I attended I do not believe that the bridesmaids had flowers either.
The wedding is one day. Be prepared to focus on your marriage. My late husband and I were married for over 40 years (about 14,800 days). Do you really think that the one day of our wedding was that important in our overall life together?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
Was that to save money? What did they carry instead if they didn't carry bouquets?
In the first wedding the bridesmaids did not carry anything. They just walked to their spots by the Chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy) to hold it up. Their hands needed to be empty to do that. The bride walked in on the arms of both her mother and her father so both of her arms needed to be free as well.
The wedding couple choose to have zero cut flowers at the wedding (except for one cut flower in the bride's hair). They had candles in glass vases on each table at the reception (provided at a very minimal cost by the venue) and the wedding was held outside at sort of a botanical garden so there were plenty of live flowers and rose bushes all around. They saved hundreds of dollars by not having cut flowers.
The last wedding was also an outdoor wedding. There were flowering shrubs lining the area where the ceremony took place. I do not think that the bridesmaids carried anything at all but now that I think about it they may have carried a sprig from the flowering scrubs.
I think that you really don't want to include your future sister-in-laws or give his mother the recognition she wants that day so you are creating stressful situations in your mind.
My daughter's recent wedding was about 150 people. The wedding was in one location with the reception in another. Many people were from out of town-including every bridesmaid and groomsman. We had no need for a "day of" coordinator. Bridesmaids were given minor tasks/assignments for the day. He has said his sisters will help out that day so let them help as bridesmaids.
Florists will ask you before hand where the flowers should go. Ours delivered them all to the church and placed them in the appropriate room. It took about 5 minutes and one bridesmaid to get the flowers to the right people in other rooms.
We did ask several family members (cousins and aunts) from out of town to arrive at the reception a bit early and place some additional candles, etc. that the florist was not providing. They were happy to do it. We arranged this a couple of weeks in advance. Most importantly each person knew exactly where to find the items and detailed instructions were included with the items and in a message prior.
The DJ truly acted as the master of ceremonies. All the dances, announcements, etc. were figured out in advance. He also informed anyone where he needed them and at what time.
My point is this--you are likely to have a detailed list of "things to do" on the day of the wedding. If you don't have one, find one online. There are hundreds of lists out there. Divide and conquer the list by assigning each bridesmaid or groomsman a task. Inform each person where they need to be and at what time/cue. That is part of their job that day, and again, the sisters want to help. Give ONE person, it doesn't have to be the MOH, the full list in advance. Any questions should go to that trusted friend/family member. It's just not as difficult as you're making it out to be. Most of the work is done in advance of the day. I don't see the need for a $7000 day of coordinator.
We found our friends and family were thrilled to help out in anyway possible that day.
Jdawg, I would recommend getting a wedding planner or at least, a day-of coordinator. My fiancé and I have both, actually. It has taken a lot of stress off our backs. I am sorry to hear about your first wedding and marriage. I hope this one is much better.
What helped me was searching on theknot.com or weddingwire.com. You can search for vendors on there. Or see if there are any wedding shows in your area. That is how we found a couple of our vendors.
I want one. All the ones quoted me between $6k & $7k... can't really afford it. That seems very high though... is that normally the price?
I called a few and they were all that... then again it's CA.
I wonder if there's a DOC in my area that is cheaper & would fly out?
I think that you really don't want to include your future sister-in-laws or give his mother the recognition she wants that day so you are creating stressful situations in your mind.
My daughter's recent wedding was about 150 people. The wedding was in one location with the reception in another. Many people were from out of town-including every bridesmaid and groomsman. We had no need for a "day of" coordinator. Bridesmaids were given minor tasks/assignments for the day. He has said his sisters will help out that day so let them help as bridesmaids.
Florists will ask you before hand where the flowers should go. Ours delivered them all to the church and placed them in the appropriate room. It took about 5 minutes and one bridesmaid to get the flowers to the right people in other rooms.
We did ask several family members (cousins and aunts) from out of town to arrive at the reception a bit early and place some additional candles, etc. that the florist was not providing. They were happy to do it. We arranged this a couple of weeks in advance. Most importantly each person knew exactly where to find the items and detailed instructions were included with the items and in a message prior.
The DJ truly acted as the master of ceremonies. All the dances, announcements, etc. were figured out in advance. He also informed anyone where he needed them and at what time.
My point is this--you are likely to have a detailed list of "things to do" on the day of the wedding. If you don't have one, find one online. There are hundreds of lists out there. Divide and conquer the list by assigning each bridesmaid or groomsman a task. Inform each person where they need to be and at what time/cue. That is part of their job that day, and again, the sisters want to help. Give ONE person, it doesn't have to be the MOH, the full list in advance. Any questions should go to that trusted friend/family member. It's just not as difficult as you're making it out to be. Most of the work is done in advance of the day. I don't see the need for a $7000 day of coordinator.
We found our friends and family were thrilled to help out in anyway possible that day.
it's not their wedding.... I don't have to include anyone I don't want to.
I understand that as much as it is my wedding it is his too, but shouldn't I be free to choose my bridesmaids just as much as he is free to choose his groomsmen? he didn't ask my brother-in-law...
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