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I guess I just don't get the kind of people who when invited to an event respond with complaints about said event instead of just declining the invite.
I don't either. It's the height of rudeness. Those folks would have promptly been disinvited.
Its so interesting that the photos seem to be the sticking point for many.
I think many of us know that you do actually change over time, and sometimes years later you may want a picture. IMHO it is better to regret having a photo (that can be hidden away if you hate it that much) than to NOT have one that could be precious to you and any descendants.
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Originally Posted by kickingthebricks
I have many other friends who did the usual albums, photojournalist style or no, and only one can tell me the last time she looked at it. Most don't even know where it is.
Everyone is different. Most of my friends have their albums readily accessible on a shelf in the family room or bedroom and some even have portraits in the home.
I understand your distaste for some of the types of photos you've mentioned. The point is that is not required at all weddings. You can do as many or as few of any kind of pic you want.
You can have whatever food and whatever traditions you want to observe. It can be a day with your stamp ALL over it, and it CAN be fun, if you let it be fun.
We are not interested in a photographer. We have agreed that if family wants to use a cell phone to take a pic (and by A pic we mean ONE) we will do it. But that's it. We both feel that the whole wedding photography thing is way overblown. We just feel photography is disruptive and are not interested in including that.
That was made quite clear in your earlier posts. I wasn't attempting to change your mind, just relating my story.
My photo album is within easy reach as I type this.
I think many of us know that you do actually change over time, and sometimes years later you may want a picture. IMHO it is better to regret having a photo (that can be hidden away if you hate it that much) than to NOT have one that could be precious to you and any descendants.
Everyone is different. Most of my friends have their albums readily accessible on a shelf in the family room or bedroom and some even have portraits in the home.
I understand your distaste for some of the types of photos you've mentioned. The point is that is not required at all weddings. You can do as many or as few of any kind of pic you want.
You can have whatever food and whatever traditions you want to observe. It can be a day with your stamp ALL over it, and it CAN be fun, if you let it be fun.
We are not having descendants. My fiancee has had a vasectomy. Yes that is how sure we are.
Yes, everyone is different. We live in a major urban center and it would be very unusual for anyone in our social circle to pull out wedding photos. I am sure that in other parts of the country this is much more the norm.
Birdie, you and I have different ideas of fun. I have designed a day that will be enjoyable for me and my fiancee. This was never in debate, though you have jumped to multiple conclusions about how "awkward" it will be and how "bratty" I am to have designed it this way. So let's agree to disagree. If you have advice at how to politely shut people like yourself down, I would be happy to hear it.
That was made quite clear in your earlier posts. I wasn't attempting to change your mind, just relating my story.
My photo album is within easy reach as I type this.
I am glad it worked out the way you wanted it to. I know that we are not in the majority in not wanting photos though it is not as uncommon as many may think. The point is that people should design the day to be whatever they want and that guests should not think themselves entitled to weigh in with their preferences unless they are responsible for the cost.
We are not having descendants. My fiancee has had a vasectomy. Yes that is how sure we are.
I figured that would be the case. That's why I didn't use "children." Your family tree is not just one branch, but I can see that kind of thing isn't something you are worried about right now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kickingthebricks
Birdie, you and I have different ideas of fun. I have designed a day that will be enjoyable for me and my fiancee. This was never in debate...
I'm glad to hear that. It didn't actually sound that way in your posts.
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Originally Posted by kickingthebricks
So let's agree to disagree. If you have advice at how to politely shut people like yourself down, I would be happy to hear it.
The best way to do that is to be honest and direct, of course. Your attempts to be inconspicuous have ended up making you very conspicuous, so ... at least be honest with yourself about your intentions.
I hope that your day is full of joy and that when it is done, you can look back with relief instead of regret.
So, someone just told us that its "not worth it" to them to travel (2 hours away mind you. Not that far) because they "don't like" how we are handling this and its "not enough entertainment" for them.
When did people get so entitled? I personally dislike weddings in general. I have never once based my attendance on whether or not I was properly "entertained" at one. If I had, I would have never attended any. Photo booths, bad cover bands and ice cream sundae stations are not my idea of "entertainment" however I have gone to weddings based on my affection for the couple.
Stick to your guns, OP. If people don't want to attend, they don't have to. Better for you, right? Fewer people to overwhelm you with. You're not getting married for their entertainment, for heaven's sake! Jeez--the gall!
Be happy you and your bride are on the same page. Support each other. The family's lucky they're getting anything at all; you could have eloped, and said "tough", as a couple of friends of mine did, when they got married.
Put your foot down, if family members continue to grouse. Tell them the topic is closed for discussion.
Stick to your guns, OP. If people don't want to attend, they don't have to. Better for you, right? Fewer people to overwhelm you with. You're not getting married for their entertainment, for heaven's sake! Jeez--the gall!
Be happy you and your bride are on the same page. Support each other. The family's lucky they're getting anything at all; you could have eloped, and said "tough", as a couple of friends of mine did, when they got married.
Put your foot down, if family members continue to grouse. Tell them the topic is closed for discussion.
I was surprised by this as well.
This experience has been really eye opening. I had honestly thought that many of our guests would appreciate that we were not demanding they drag themselves all over creation for our "big day" and instead attend a rather elegant yet relaxed affair without the usual claptrap. But I was wrong. It seems that people want that. Maybe it reinforces their own idea of how much others enjoyed attending their own wedding?
This is one day. We have the rest of our lives to be married. If people don't like it, they can stay home. I am not getting married to them, after all. And as our guest list was very limited, if we have family cancellations, we can invite more of our friends that we were not able to include originally.
At first, I completely sided with the OP, but the more I read, the less convinced I became. I totally agree with doing what YOU want for YOUR wedding, but I sense a great deal of hostility in the OP's posts. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. I get a sense that they're going about this in a way that is designed to inflame the families. It sounds like a couple of kids stamping their feet and screaming that they don't HAVE to do what you tell them to.
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That's why I didn't use "children." Your family tree is not just one branch, but I can see that kind of thing isn't something you are worried about right now.
