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At first, I completely sided with the OP, but the more I read, the less convinced I became. I totally agree with doing what YOU want for YOUR wedding, but I sense a great deal of hostility in the OP's posts. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. I get a sense that they're going about this in a way that is designed to inflame the families. It sounds like a couple of kids stamping their feet and screaming that they don't HAVE to do what you tell them to.
If only.
We merely sent out invites. The pressure began shortly after. I am probably hostile at this point, yes, because I think people are being really rude. I wish that they would just be quiet and wish us well, attend or not attend, and that would be the end of it. Is it really the end of the world if you don't have a wedding photo? We are asking so little of our guests. The least they can do is be polite.
I think that your wedding plans sound fantastic. Really
The only thing I would change is the photographer. You do not 'need' a studio. But a professional who can be on scene to take a few dozen shots as they happen. Seriously, 10 years from now, 20 years from now when half of these people are dead, what you will have of this event will be the photos. Get photos.
The best wedding I did, was in a city park at sunrise. There was thick fog over a lake, I had the wedding party stand along the water's edge. My back was to the crowd. The photos had the couple with the fog behind them, as they said their vows. Afterwards, we met in their backyard for a BBQ picnic.
We had a wedding that didn't not include most items from your list. We each had one attendant, a friend with a good eye for photos took pictures (as well as a few guests) and my mom and husband gave speeches.
At the last minute I gave a friend a camcorder to record anything he could, for which I'm grateful because my mom was diagnosed with cancer two weeks after our wedding and didn't live long enough to see our first anniversary.
We had a wedding that didn't not include most items from your list. We each had one attendant, a friend with a good eye for photos took pictures (as well as a few guests) and my mom and husband gave speeches.
At the last minute I gave a friend a camcorder to record anything he could, for which I'm grateful because my mom was diagnosed with cancer two weeks after our wedding and didn't live long enough to see our first anniversary.
Sorry to hear about your mom.
We are probably the two least sentimental people you will ever meet when it comes to pictures. I have an envelope in my basement with probably a dozen photos in it, given to me by a relative. This is the sum total of my entire "family archive" and that is more than enough. My fiancee grew up in foster care and was adopted by a family who will be attending. He has one biological sibling to whom he is close. He does not feel the need to save photos either, nor does he want aspects of the day photographed.
We both have our own ways of remembering things that are important to us. An actual visual record, be it video. photographic, etc., is not important to us at all. That's just the way we are. I know its difficult for people who are not this way to understand, but for hundreds and hundreds of years, people didn't have wedding photos to remember the day, or even depictions of family, friends, kids, etc. Presumably they didn't suffer any deep emotional damage. I am sure that a lot of people really value this, but our values are different. And again, our wedding.
Just have someone take a nice picture of you and your husband sometime during the day. You can do nothing with it, or frame it, but the day will only happen once.
My husband and I have no pictures from our elopement to Las Vegas, 39 years ago, but now I wish we had one to commemorate the day.
Just have someone take a nice picture of you and your husband sometime during the day. You can do nothing with it, or frame it, but the day will only happen once.
My husband and I have no pictures from our elopement to Las Vegas, 39 years ago, but now I wish we had one to commemorate the day.
We have said that we will have someone take one on the day if they truly insist or we will arrange to go to a studio later all dressed up in our clothes and do a portrait. That's what my sister did and she is happy with it. But we don't want a photo session or photographer on the day. I just think about all the other milestones we don't have photos of, and it really doesn't phase me. I think we are used to NOT having photos of things.
We are probably the two least sentimental people you will ever meet when it comes to pictures. I have an envelope in my basement with probably a dozen photos in it, given to me by a relative. This is the sum total of my entire "family archive" and that is more than enough. My
fiancee grew up in foster care and was adopted by a family who will be attending. He has one biological sibling to whom he is close. He does not feel the need to save photos either, nor does he want aspects of the day photographed.
We both have our own ways of remembering things that are important to us. An actual visual record, be it video. photographic, etc., is not important to us at all. That's just the way we are. I know its difficult for people who are not this way to understand, but for hundreds and hundreds of years, people didn't have wedding photos to remember the day, or even depictions of family, friends, kids, etc. Presumably they didn't suffer any deep emotional damage. I am sure that a lot of people really value this, but our values are different. And again, our wedding.
Don't know how I got a double negative in there. .
You don't have to have pictures taken. It is your day to have as you wish. But you can't stop guests who choose to take photos.
You are a woman after my own heart I am a Mainer by birth.
We are both attorneys so our families REALLY expect something big and fancy. I wanted a seafood dinner and a courthouse ceremony with 2 witnesses. So we compromised with some quality entertainment and food, but are both far too pragmatic/disinterested to do more than that. Thus far we are being accused of being "cheap" (none of this in inexpensive, but we are not spending the 30-50K that our guests are expecting. We have other things to invest in) and "cruel" for not doing what the family wants. There is pouting and cajoling. But too bad.
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