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We have been invited to a nephews post wedding party. This is my husbands brothers son. We stay in touch with the brothers' ex wife (Mom to the groom) but not the brother. The couple married on a ski hill in Colorado without family.
We haven't seen them in years.
They have planned a casual party in a local high school gymnasium (dress very casual, buffet, cash bar).
We want to go as we love our ex S-I-L.
They have requested no gifts but they want money to fund their honeymoon.
Can anyone give me an idea of how much to give? I know this is a crazy question and there is no right answer but I am just flummoxed!
That is a difficult question. But, I bet that if you really thought about it you would come up with an answer. You and hubby may think $XY is too little and $XXYY is too much, so you go with the amount in the middle.
IMHO, it also depends on your finances. If you are a retired couple living on SS it would be more difficult to give a larger amount than if you were both working with good incomes. IMHO, I always ignore what type of wedding celebration is held in deciding the amount of money to give. Some (maybe even most) people do give less money if the bride & groom have a backyard BBQ (or cake reception in a church/school hall) and more money if it is a sit down dinner in an expensive venue. I always look at my relationship to the wedding couple to decide the gift.
Please just give the amount that you feel comfortable giving. Whether that is $25, $50, $100, $200 or whatever amount I am sure that the wedding couple will greatly appreciate it.
Good luck.
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-14-2018 at 07:27 AM..
So basically they're not hosting a party, they're having a fundraiser -- cash bar and a request for money. Sorry, where I come from, that's tacky. I wouldn't give very much.
We have been invited to a nephews post wedding party. This is my husbands brothers son. We stay in touch with the brothers' ex wife (Mom to the groom) but not the brother. The couple married on a ski hill in Colorado without family.
We haven't seen them in years.
They have planned a casual party in a local high school gymnasium (dress very casual, buffet, cash bar).
We want to go as we love our ex S-I-L.
They have requested no gifts but they want money to fund their honeymoon.
Can anyone give me an idea of how much to give? I know this is a crazy question and there is no right answer but I am just flummoxed!
Give what you can easily afford , you dont socialize with them so I wouldnt go overboard.. it would be different if close family , I think too much is expected now from some couples being married and the ones who ask for money instead of a gift are downright rude..
Thank you guys for the feedback.....it is pretty much how I feel, I really like this nephew. The party may be a fund raiser for their honeymoon is this common now? Clearly, I am not in touch with this new normal.
We have been invited to a nephews post wedding party. This is my husbands brothers son. We stay in touch with the brothers' ex wife (Mom to the groom) but not the brother. The couple married on a ski hill in Colorado without family.
We haven't seen them in years.
They have planned a casual party in a local high school gymnasium (dress very casual, buffet, cash bar).
We want to go as we love our ex S-I-L.
They have requested no gifts but they want money to fund their honeymoon.
Can anyone give me an idea of how much to give? I know this is a crazy question and there is no right answer but I am just flummoxed!
That is so completely tacky I wouldn’t give anything!
Thank you guys for the feedback.....it is pretty much how I feel, I really like this nephew. The party may be a fund raiser for their honeymoon is this common now? Clearly, I am not in touch with this new normal.
Just because a lot of people do it, that still doesn't make it right. Greed and living beyond your means is never cool.
Thank you guys for the feedback.....it is pretty much how I feel, I really like this nephew. The party may be a fund raiser for their honeymoon is this common now? Clearly, I am not in touch with this new normal.
I just received a wedding invitation in the mail today. It mentions on their wedding website (not the invitation) that two weeks after the wedding they are moving into a small, furnished one bedroom apartment in (name of city in foreign country 9,000 miles away) for their jobs.
However, even in their situation they still have a wedding registry for physical gifts at all price points and no hints to give monetary gifts (except for the mention of where they will be living after the wedding). I had already planned on giving them a monetary gift but it is nice that they kept everything classy.
Thank you guys for the feedback.....it is pretty much how I feel, I really like this nephew. The party may be a fund raiser for their honeymoon is this common now? Clearly, I am not in touch with this new normal.
Well...they ARE providing food. And are set-ups (soda) being provided? To ME it sounds like they're throwing a party. Like they said.
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